April 6 Random Observations of The Grand Lake Bum
Happy Easter Week! I realize no celebrations or worship services will be normal, but I hope you have an opportunity to enjoy the outdoors – and maybe a little time on the water or on the golf course. This, too, shall pass!
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I finally got tired of watching re-runs on the news channels, so I turned to social media. It’s even worse. Obviously, most folks have tired of arguing about politics, but their attempts to find something entertaining to do are, to say the least…not that entertaining. Honest, I don’t care what 10 things you don’t like that other people don’t like. I don’t care which one is a lie out of your list of 6 concerts you’ve been to. I’m not posting the seventh picture on my camera roll, I’m not posting pictures with yellow or blue in them – and I’m tired of people telling me what to do. “Copy and paste this. Do not share.” “Post a picture of someplace you’ve been.” I don’t care which states you’ve been to. I care less which of the ten jobs you list is one you really never had – and I’m not interested in guessing which one. What jobs you have had in your life is a little more interesting. And the four names you’ve gone by in your life is certainly something I can use against you later.
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Perhaps the most curious “Shelter in Place” consequences has the sudden trending surge of the Joe Exotic movie Tiger King. I haven’t watched it, and I probably won’t. I watched that bizarre situation unwind in real time by watching the news. If somebody wrote that story as fiction, no one would believe it. The most terrifying thing to me about the Joe Exotic story is the fact that he received 19 percent of the vote when he ran for Governor of Oklahoma. That’s another reason I never urge everyone to vote.
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Like most everybody with any common sense, I’m hanging out by myself most days. At least I don’t have much laundry and I’m not using much water. I did discover one important thing about CDC instructions. If you get lax on your showering schedule, that social distancing thing pretty much takes care of itself.
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A lot of people from the cities have chosen Grand Lake as a spot to do their Shelter in Place time. Smart move. Buy a boat. Buy a lake house. That way you can use your Shelter in Place time in a fun way – and discover why you should spend more time at the lake and do it more often. Seriously, though, do it responsibly. Don’t gather up in groups. Boat by yourself or with your family. Enjoy the outdoors, but do it responsibly. Just because the COVID-19 problems are so bad that your home city is on major lockdown doesn’t mean we want to bring that same situation to Grand Lake. I’m not normally big on rules, as you know…but if we don’t follow these social distancing rules right now, we won’t have to worry about making plans for the summer because nothing will be open. Let’s stop this virus in its tracks NOW, so we can all play together all summer!
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Tulsa Mayor G.T. Bynum has come up with the best Oklahoma tourism plan I’ve seen. He issued an order requiring all Tulsa residents to self-quarantine for 14 days when returning from any travel outside the state of Oklahoma. What a great idea! We should contact Governor Stitt and Lt. Governor Pinnell and urge them to make that a statewide permanent policy! Keep your tourism travel in Oklahoma!
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I know it’s frustrating to not have available services to which we have all become accustomed. Only my liquor store owner knows how much I really drink. Since I traditionally spend most of my drinking time in bars, I had no idea, either. I’ve picked up a two-week bourbon supply at the liquor store three times this week!
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I have been arguing for years, trying to maintain my right to smoke in bars. Now I can’t even drink in them!
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The lack of personal grooming services is irritating, too. Everybody’s true hair color is starting to show a little and nail clipper sales are rivaling toilet paper and hand sanitizer. You know what, though? You know who is still doing hair, nails, brows, and make-up? Funeral homes. You want an appointment? Just keep hosting those cocktail parties on your deck and spending your spare time wandering the aisles at Lowe’s and Wal-Mart.
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Folks in the largest cities in America are now instructed to wear “non-surgical” masks. CDC recommends that everybody wear a mask when we’re out and about. Can we be creative here? We need to cover our faces, right? We need to use “non-surgical” covers, right? President Trump talks about scarves; but I’m talking about re-purposing all the great Halloween and Mardi Gras masks! There’s no reason we can’t be safe and still have fun, right?
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PUBLIC EVENT CANCELLATION NOTICE: With Governor Stitt’s extension of his “Safer at Home” executive order to all 77 counties and until April 30, the planned Monkey Island Pub Crawl (April 18) and Monkey Island Golf Trail Golf Cart Poker Run (April 25) have been canceled. Pretty much all public events through April 30 have been canceled.
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BEST EVENT OF THE WEEK: Filing for public office in Oklahoma is this week (Wednesday-Friday). It should be fun to see how many people want to jump into this COVID-19/state funding crisis firestorm and try to lead the charge.
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GRAND LAKE DINING & DRINKING UPDATE: All the big chain restaurants will be fine. Please support your locally owned restaurants. Utilize their curbside pick-up and take-out options. Buy a gift certificate to use later. They make great gifts, too. Most of all, though, remember how hard these guys and gals providing the unprecedented curbside service are working. They may not be like doctors, nurses and first responders, but they are on the front lines, risking their health to provide you a service. Just because they walked to your car instead of your table doesn’t mean you shouldn’t tip. Please do. Generously.
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RANDY KREHBIEL’S RANDOM FACTOID OF THE WEEK: Abraham Lincoln came down with smallpox the day after delivering the Gettysburg Address. Had the dedication ceremony been scheduled for Nov. 20 instead of Nov. 19, one of the great speeches of all time might never have been given.
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BEST FACEBOOK POST OF THE WEEK: Does anyone know if we can take showers yet, or should we just keep washing our hands?
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HOME SCHOOLING QUESTION: Does having your children fix you cocktails count as chemistry?
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BEST SIGN SEEN THIS WEEK: Single man with toilet paper seeks single woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.
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TWEET OF THE WEEK: Dear Casinos, it’s no fun losing money, is it?
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BEST PUN OF THE WEEK: Ran out of toilet paper and now using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg. Tomorrow romaines to be seen.
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OBSERVATION OF THE WEEK: I never thought “I wouldn’t touch you with a 10-foot pole” would become national policy, but here we are.
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“ESSENTIAL BUSINESS” IRONY OF THE WEEK: I never thought I’d see the day when telling a cop “I’m on my way to get liquor and weed” would get me out of trouble.
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FEEL OLD MOMENTS OF THE WEEK: Singer/songwriter Bill Withers (“Lean on Me” and “Ain’t No Sunshine”) died last week. He was 81. Singer/Actor Peter Marshall, longtime host of the Hollywood Squares television program, turned 94 last week.
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GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: Happy birthday wishes go out this week to Donnie Smith, Tiera Henry, Devon Miller, Pat Sheeler, Peggy Howard, Bill Durick, Bill Schenke, Jerry Cookson, Jack Moore, Doug Frans, and Ashley Davidson.
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UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK: Will children born nine months from now be known as Children of the Quarn?
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BUM MUST-SEE TV: The Good Fight returns to CBS All Access Thursday. Biography: Dolly airs Sunday night at 7:00 on A&E. The new series Brews Brothers will be available Friday on NETFLIX. Season 3 of Killing Eve premieres Sunday night at 8:00 on AMC. Monday night, Biography: Kenny Rogers airs at 8:00 and Merle Haggard: Salute to a Country Legend airs at 10:00, both on A&E. Songland returns for another season Monday night at 9:00 on NBC.
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BUM MUST-SEE MOVIE: Tigertail, The Main Event, and Love Wedding Repeat are available this weekend on NETFLIX.
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.” – Benjamin Franklin
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SAVE THE DATE: Friday, May 1 – Season Opening for Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina. Friday, May 1 – Season Opening for Sharky’s Bar at Hammerhead Marina. Friday-Sunday, May 1-3 – Nichols Marine In-Water Boat Show at Shangri-La Marina. Saturday, May 2 – Season Opening for Quarterdeck Café at Tera Miranda Harbor. Saturday, May 2 – 10th Annual Cedar Port Marina Scavenger Hunt benefiting the Ketchum Backpack Program. Friday, May 8 – Grove Chamber Golf Tournament at Patricia Island.
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SPORTS NON-WATCH: No basketball, no baseball, no soccer, no NASCAR, no Summer Olympics, no Wimbledon, no Kentucky Derby, and now…no Wimbledon. Every sports channel is now competing heads up with the Classic Golf Channel and ESPN Classic. It’s okay with me. Actually, I kind of enjoy watching the old championships. I don’t remember who won the game, anyway…but I actually know all the players!
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It is April in Oklahoma, so there’s always a chance for a shower or two; but the Easter weekend weather looks warmer. Expect highs in the mid-60s and lows in the upper 40s. Enjoy Coronavirus Break on Grand Lake! Since the bars aren’t open, you can’t by a drink for the guy next to you…but you can always pay ahead by ordering from your favorite restaurant or liquor store and leaving the surprise bottle for the next guy. It could be me!
GRAND LAKE BUM
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Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area? Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.
1909 in Downtown Grove
Ailey’s Café in Langley
Aquabar & Grill at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)
Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley
Balcony Bar at The Shebang (Smoking – open Friday & Saturday nights)
Big Shots on Monkey Island (Open Friday & Saturday nights)
Blind Swine on Monkey Island
Blue Bluff Café at Blue Bluff Harbor
Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)
Café Italia on Monkey Island
Café Yum in Grove
Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)
Ceasar’s Place in Vinita and at Littlefield Corner
Checkered Past in Grove
Chickanella’s in Grove
Chicken Coop West of Langley
Clanton’s Café in Vinita
Coppers Tea & Coffee House in Grove
Cosby’s Catfish on Highway 28 in Eucha (East of Disney)
Doc’s Bar & Grill at Shangri-La Resort Hotel
Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina
Domino’s in Grove
Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)
Drake’s on the Lake at Blue Bluff Harbor
Drake’s Restaurant in Grove
Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina (smoking)
Gabby’s Place in downtown Grove
Goodfella’s Pizza (Cleora and Grove)
Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)
Grand Lake Public House in Grove
Hatfield’s Saloon in Grove
Henrie’s Grill in Grove
High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)
Honey Creek BBQ in Grove (south of Honey Creek bridge)
Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)
Juan Montez Restaurant & Cantina at Red Arrow Marina
La Casita de Martin in downtown Grove
Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum
Los Garcias in Langley
Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove
Matt’s Place in Grove
Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)
Monkey’s Uncle at Littlefield Corner (Breakfast & lunch)
Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)
Morrow’s Bar & Grill at Morrow’s Landing
Mulligan’s at Patricia Island Golf Club in Grove
Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove
Pappy’s Bar on Hwy 10 east of Grove
Pickles at the Lake in Langley
Pit Stop Café in Grove
Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)
Raggedy’s in Grove
Rancho Viejo in Grove
Riggs & Company in Langley
River Bend Casino in Wyandotte (smoking)
Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)
Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)
Scooters in Langley (smoking)
Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)
Sticky Fingers Barbecue in Ketchum
Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)
The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice
The Landings Marina (smoking on the deck)
The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)
The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)
The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)
The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)
Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)
VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)
Water Side Bar & Grill in Grove
Waterway Café, Harbors View Marina (smoking on breakwater dining deck)
Wolf Creek Diner in Grove