Easter Weekend in Review by The Grand Lake Bum
I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter weekend, got stuffed with a fabulous brunch – and I hope you little ones found all the eggs the fun way before you find them the bad way – rotten and stuck to the bottom of your flip-flops. Isn’t it funny how kids can pick up 100 eggs in three minutes, but they can’t pick up three toys off the living room floor in a week?
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I hope the nation’s First Family had a nice Easter, even if the White House Easter Egg Roll seemed a little “iffy.” I do hope, however, the next time they decide to spend a holiday weekend in Mar-a-Lago, they can at least make the trip together instead of taking two government jets, two secret service contingents, etc. I realize they’re always on tight schedules, but c’mon…the jets arrived 10 minutes apart.
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Everyone is trying to get seats on United Airline flights these days. I understand they have a new customer “re-accommodation” program that has customers rolling in the aisles! The skies are still friendly; but the tarmac…not so much.
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Last Thursday, a scorpion actually fell from an overhead baggage container on a United flight and stung a passenger. Believe it or not, that’s pretty much the best thing that happened to United last week.
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In fact, there may be one final piece of irony you hadn’t heard about that United Airlines incident. When Dr. David Dao was hospitalized in Chicago after being knocked unconscious, then dragged from the United flight, you’ll be happy to hear that United went ahead and flew his luggage safely to Kentucky.
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We don’t need no stinkin’ science! I guess that’s what the Oklahoma legislature thinks, anyway. They defunded all Oklahoma science and engineering competitions. In 2018, Oklahoma will be the only state with no State Science Fair. Aren’t we proud? NEWS BULLETIN – WAIT – one man has done more in one day than the legislature has done all year. Retired dentist James Young of Ardmore coughed up $50,000 to make sure we have a science fair at least one more year. Maybe by then we’ll have a better legislative make-up.
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Oklahoma Congressman Markwayne Mullin made national news last week by telling constituents they don’t pay his salary. He said he has paid more taxes than he will ever receive in congressional pay, so it’s “bull crap” for taxpayers to say they pay for him. I’m not sure I would have gone there if I were him. Pretty soon his constituents might be wondering when the federal government is going to pay them $174,000 a year to compensate for the taxes they’ve paid. In retrospect, if he’s sticking to that story, he probably made the right decision canceling his subsequent town hall meeting in Tahlequah.
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Somebody in the White House is either super paranoid or they really have a burr under their saddle for a Medicaid recipient who won the lottery. In my research, I couldn’t actually find such a person, but 10 pages of the 123-page Obamacare replacement bill offered by the White House is devoted to making sure no lottery winner receives benefits. It wasn’t clear whether being a member of the “lucky sperm club” was considered to be a lottery win or not.
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As you know, the U.S. dropped a bomb on Syria last week. It was the biggest non-nuclear bomb ever used in combat. It’s a MOAB which technically stands for Massive Ordnance Air Blast – but it’s affectionately defined these days as the Mother Of All Bombs. I’m confused a little. I remember comedian Wanda Sykes getting booed off the stage in Boston for her anti-Trump rant, then giving the crowd the finger as she cussed her way off stage. I thought that performance was the mother of all bombs.
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Somebody reach out to Marcos Pacheco-Bustamante in Miami-Dade County, Florida and let him know that the next time he decides to impersonate a copy, don’t try to arrest an actual cop. You can’t fix stupid.
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Somebody also needs to let Maritza Sanchez know that it’s not a good idea to set your parakeet free right in front of your dog who has been hoping to see that bird outside the cage just one time. As it turns out, once is all it took.
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FAIRY TALE FACT OF THE WEEK: Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose a shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.
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BEST SIGN SEEN THIS WEEK: Viagra shipment stolen. Cops looking for gang of hardened criminals.
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BEST FACEBOOK POST THIS WEEK: I start the day with Cap’n Crunch and end the day with Captain Morgan because apparently… I want to be a pirate.
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GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: Happy Birthday wishes go out this week to Dave Wagenblatt, Greg Bolton, Larry Sanford, Jackie Moore, Boyd Ayer, Trey Masri, Jim Forrester, Gaines Dittrich, Don Douglas, Judy Dullea, Randa Perry, Phil Carrott, and Leah Lewandowski.
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UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK: Why are there flotation devices under the seats of airliners instead of parachutes?
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BEST EVENT OF THE WEEK: Live boxing Friday night at Buffalo Run Casino featuring the 4-State Franchise.
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GRAND LAKE WEEKEND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT: There are lots of entertainment options around the lake this weekend, including Randy Lunsford performing through the weekend in the Burlesque Room and Clint Walker in the Back Stage Room at The Shebang on Monkey Island. Across the street at Big Shots Rhythm & Booze, enjoy all the best dance tunes Friday andSaturday nights. Friday night is Karaoke Night at Monkey Island Pub.
Area casinos have excellent musical options this weekend, as well. At River Bend Casino (formerly Wyandotte Casino), Club 60 West will feature music from The Stonehorse Band Friday night. At Downstream Casino’s Legends Sports Bar, Friday night features Members Only with The Uncrowned Kings taking over Saturday night. The Band DeLorean will perform atop the 1897 Bar at Cherokee Casino Friday night followed by Reverse Reaction Saturday night. Friday night at Buffalo Run Casino’s Showplace, it’s live boxing at its best featuring the 4-State Franchise. At Buffalo Run’s Trailer Park Bar & Grill, there’s great music both Friday and Saturday night with Western Justice; and Grand Lake Casino’s Venue 655 features music from Lost On Utica Saturday night. At Indigo Sky Casino, there is live entertainment in the Echo Bar starting Thursday night with music byBryce Dicus. Friday night, The Band DeLorean will entertain (hmm, hope this works out - looks like they’re booked at Cherokee Casino Grove that night, too), followed by Paralandra Saturday night.
The best spots to catch all your favorite sports action, including NBA playoff action, NASCAR, and PGA Golf are the Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La, Monkey Island Pub, the Standing Room Only Bar at The Shebang, Road Hog Saloon, 1909 in Grove, and Pickles at the Lake in Langley.
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BUM MUST-SEE TV: The new season of The Blacklist kicks off Thursday night at 8:00 on NBC with a two-hour special; and the season premiere of Silicon Valley is Sunday night at 9:00 on HBO.
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BUM MUST-SEE MOVIES: Grow House and Ozzy
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “We can’t rely on solar power because we can’t tell people they will not have lights during the night.”– Senator Jeff Flake (R-Arizona) No, really!
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SAVE THE DATE: Saturday, April 29 – fundraising concert & dance featuring The Old Bulldog Band at Big Shots ($30 tickets on sale now – proceeds to the Monkey Island Golf Cart & Pedestrian Trail). Friday, May 5 – GRDA Lake Launch 2017 – “Grand Fiesta!” at Ecosystems Center in Langley (6:00-9:00). Friday, May 5 – Eddy’s Lakeside Bar opens at Shangri-La Marina. Friday-Sunday, May 5-7 – In-water boat shows at Nichols Marine at Shangri-La Marina, MarineMax at Harbors View Marina, Grand Lake Boat Sales at Hi-Lift Marina, Ugly John’s at Thunder Bay Marina, and Cedar Port Marina. Saturday, May 6 – Burning of the Socks at Harbors View Marina. Monday, May 15 – Official Pool Opening at Monkey Island RV Park.Friday, May 19 – Quarterdeck Waterfront Café at Tera Miranda opens for the season.
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It’s all about NBA Basketball in the sports world. It’s playoff time. First round games get underway this weekend. ABC hosts the first game at 2:00 Saturday. Sunday is a full schedule with a 2:00 game on ABC and a full TNT schedule with games at 4:30,7:00 and 9:30 p.m. We’re working through the third and fourth games of the first round of NBA Playoffs this weekend. The OKC Thunder host the Houston Rockets at 8:30 Friday (ESPN) and 2:30 Sunday (ABC). Thursday night’s schedule has Cleveland at Indiana (6:00 on TNT), Toronto at Milwaukee (7:00 on NBA-TV), and San Antonio at Memphis (8:30 on TNT).Friday night, in addition to the Thunder-Rockets game, Chicago hosts Boston at 6:00 (TNT) and the L.A. Clippers at at Utah (9:00 on ESPN2). Saturday, Toronto is at Milwaukee at 2:00, San Antonio is at Memphis at 7:00 (ESPN) and Portland hosts Golden State at 9:30 (TNT). Sunday’s line-up, in addition to the Thunder game, include Cleveland at Indiana at noon (ABC), Boston at Chicago at 5:30 (TNT) and the Clippers at Utah at 8:00 (TNT).
The PGA Tour heads for San Antonio this week for the Valero Texas Open. Coverage begins at 2:30 Thursday & Friday, and12:00 Saturday & Sunday on the Golf Channel. CBS picks up coverage of the final two rounds Saturday & Sunday at 2:00.
NASCAR drivers are running at Bristol this weekend (The Food City 500). Coverage begins at 1:00 Sunday on Fox.
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Weather for the weekend ahead is just what we expect in April – a chance of a shower now and then, highs in the mid-60s. No, that does NOT mean “oh no, it’s going to rain all weekend.” Let’s get out there and have some fun! Remember, though, wherever you decide to play, be sure to buy a drink for the guy next to you. It could be me.
GRAND LAKE BUM
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Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area? Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.
1909 in Downtown Grove
American Grill in Grove
Aquabar & Grill at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)
Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley
Balcony Bar at The Shebang (Smoking – open Friday & Saturday nights)
Big Shots on Monkey Island (smoking upstairs—open Friday & Saturday nights)
Bobbers Café in Langley
Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patios)
Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)
Café Italia on Monkey Island
Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)
Ceasar’s Place in Vinita and on Monkey Island
Chickanella’s in Grove
Chicken Coop West of Langley
Clanton’s Café in Vinita
Coffee Shelter in Ketchum
Cosby’s Catfish on Highway 28 in Eucha (East of Disney)
Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina
Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)
Drake’s Restaurant in Grove
Frosty & Edna’s (west of the dam in Langley)
Gabby’s Place in downtown Grove
Goodfella’s Pizza (Cleora and Grove)
Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)
Grand Lodge in Ketchum (smoking)
Hatfield’s Saloon in Grove
High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)
Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)
Juan Montez Restaurant & Cantina at Red Arrow Marina
Karrie's Kaboose in Langley (smoking)
La Casita de Martin in downtown Grove
Lakeside Bar & Grill in Grove at Sail Boat Bridge
Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum
Los Garcias in Langley
Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove
Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)
Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)
Morrows Bar & Grill in Raper Hollow
Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove
Okie Smokies Barbecue in Grove on Hwy 59 South
Pickles at the Lake in Langley
Pit Stop Café in Grove
Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)
Raggedy’s in Grove
Rancho Viejo in Grove
Riggs & Company in Langley
River Bend Casino in Wyandotte (smoking)
Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)
Roadhouse 125 on Monkey Island (smoking deck)
Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)
Scooters in Langley (smoking)
Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)
Smokin’ Spur BBQ & Trading Post at Old Towne Plaza, Cleora
Sticky Fingers Barbecue in Ketchum
Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)
Summit Restaurant at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)
The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice
The Landings Marina (smoking on the deck)
The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)
The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)
The Office on Monkey Island (smoking)
The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)
The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)
Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)
VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)
Water Side Bar & Grill in Grove
Waterway Café, Harbors View Marina (smoking on breakwater dining deck)
Wolf Creek Diner in Grove