February 11 Random Observations of The Grand Lake Bum
We have arrived at the season of Valentines – that week of the year when all men are divided into three groups: 1) Those who are married; 2) Those who are proposing; and 3) Those who are breaking up with their girlfriends to save the couple of hundred bucks they would blow on dinner & flowers (don’t worry, though – next week is the official “get back together week” for those cheap weasels).
*****
I realize that we all live in different states of mind during romantic holidays like Valentine’s Day, so… for those of you who may be a little bitter during this season, an Oregon wildlife rehabilitation center called “Wildlife Images” has something for you, too! For a $20 donation, they will inscribe the name of your ex on a salmon – and feed it to one of their 1,000-pound bears. They’ll even send you a certificate and a photo showing a bear devouring “your ex.” If that seems a little excessive, you can simply message your ex’s name to the El Paso Zoo and they will assign the name to a cockroach. Then, on Valentine’s Day, the zoo’s Facebook page will do live streaming as they feed the cockroaches to a meerkat. See? There’s a way for everyone to celebrate the holiday after all.
*****
All this cold weather has me thinking about warmer climates; but If I ever consider a move to Hawaii, I’m going to have to pull out my calendar and do some math. Hawaii already has the most stringent law for the sale of cigarettes. It’s the only state where you have to be at least 21 years of age. Legislation was introduced last week to change that age to 30. Obviously, I’m still okay with that…but I might need to be careful. The proposed law increases the legal age for purchasing cigarettes by 10 years each year…first 40, then 50, etc. until the full enactment of the scale in 2024 when you would have to be 100 years old to buy cigarettes. I haven’t worked out all the math, but I’m pretty sure I won’t be old enough by then.
*****
I realize I should probably re-think my smoking commitment. I’ve always heard that smoking can kill you, of course, but there was proof positive last week in Altoona, Pennsylvania. Tammy Hockenberry left her office at Blair Companies Millwork to go have a smoke in the lean-to “smokers’ hut” outside. Just as she lit up, a gust of wind blew the building down on top of her. She was 47. Sounds like a good argument for allowing workers to smoke at their desks where smoking won’t kill them quite as quickly, but I guess that ship has sailed. I guess I’ll stick to structurally sound bars!
*****
Weather at Grand Lake will be improving soon. We’re just a little over two weeks away from Welcome Back Weekend 2019. Can you believe it? The biggest day of the Spring season, though, is less than a month away. Sunday, March 10 – Daylight Saving Time returns. Watch for the Grand Lake sunset that day at 7:37 p.m.
*****
RANDY KREHBIEL’S RANDOM FACTOID OF THE WEEK: For the last 10 years or so of his life, Thomas Edison worked on a device to communicate with the dead. It was unsuccessful.
*****
BEST FACEBOOK POST OF THE WEEK: The circle of life. At age 4 success is not peeing your pants. At age 12 success is having friends. At age 16 success is having a driver’s license. At age 20 success is having sex. At age 35 success is having money. At age 50 success is having money. At age 60 success is having sex. At age 70 success is having a driver’s license. At age 75 success is having friends. At age 80 success is not peeing your pants.
*****
BEST HEADLINE OF THE WEEK (in the New York Post relating to Washington Post owner Jeff Bezos’ investigation of National Enquirerowner David Pecker): Bezos Exposes Pecker
*****
BEST SIGN SEEN THIS WEEK: CNN reporting Democrats found 11 extra points for the Rams in Broward County
*****
TWEET OF THE WEEK: All this talk about a 70% tax rates on annual earnings above $10 million has me terrified. Have you ever tried squeaking by on $27,000 per day?
*****
FEEL-OLD MOMENT OF THE WEEK: Last Saturday was the 55th Anniversary of the Beatles’ first appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show.
*****
OBSERVATION OF THE WEEK: Wal-Mart had better send me my W-2. I’ve been doing self checkout all year.
*****
RANDOM THOUGHT OF THE WEEK: Wouldn’t it be ironic is Popeye’s Chicken was fried in Olive Oil?
*****
LIFE’S LESSONS OF THE WEEK: I have learned two important lessons in my life. I forgot the first one, but the second one is “write things down.”
*****
GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: Happy birthday wishes go out this week to Betty Dennis, Brad Coston, Terry “Buffalo” Ware, Erin Talley, George Couch, Bob Corlett, Lisette Coston, Rich Talley, and Trisha Wooderson. Happy Anniversary to Kevin & Betty Dennis – and Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone!
*****
UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK: Are oranges named orange because they’re orange, or is orange called orange because oranges are orange?
*****
BEST EVENTS OF THE WEEK: Shangri-La’s Summit Restaurant is Open-to-the-Public for Valentine Sweetheart Dinner Thursday-Saturday ($100 per couple). The Artichoke, Lighthouse Supper Club, Blind, Swine, 1909, The Parrot, Juan Montez, and The Shebang also have Sweetheart Dinner Specials Thursday night. Big Shots features a nostalgic “Sweetheart Dance Featuring the Tunes Your Fell in Love To” Saturday night. The Midsouth Tackle, Hunting & Boat Show, is at the Grove Civic Center Friday-Sunday; and the Women’s Auxiliary Association of Monkey Island is hosting an all-you-can-eat fundraising Chili Luncheon Saturday at the Monkey Island Fire Department from 11:00-2:00 ($7.00).
*****
GRAND LAKE WEEKEND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT: There’s plenty of great entertainment coming up around the lake to kick off the new month. On Monkey Island Friday night is karaoke night at Monkey Island Pub. At the Blind Swine, there’s live entertainment every Friday and Saturday night (including Erin Fitzgibbon Friday), and KJ Flip hosts karaoke Sunday and Tuesday. Big Shots Rhythm & Booze has your favorites Saturday night for a special Valentine Dance event. Doors open at 8:00. At Littlefield Corner, there’s live music every Saturday at the Road Hog Saloon.
On South Grand Lake, Thursday night is Trivia Contest night at Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney. Friday night is Karaoke Night at Michelle’s Bar & Grill at Grand Lodge in Ketchum – and there’s always live entertainment at Michelle’s on Saturday night.
Area casinos have big entertainment plans, too. Cherokee Casino-Grove features music from D’ Elegantz Band Friday night followed byNighTTrain Saturday. Grand Lake Casino features music from The Struggle Friday night. At Bordertown Casino’s Lost Creek Saloon, you are the star at Thursday night karaoke. Heath Wright entertains at Bordertown both Friday and Saturday nights. Indigo Sky Casino offers three nights of musical entertainment this week. Eddie Valen performs Thursday night in the Echo Bar, followed by Blank Earth Friday. The Rumor wraps up the weekend Saturday night at Indigo.
The best spots to catch all your favorite sports action, including PGA Golf and college & NBA basketball games are the Standing Room Only Bar at The Shebang, Doc’s Bar & Grill at Shangri-La Resort, Blind Swine, Road Hog Saloon, 1909 in Grove, Pickles at the Lake in Langley, and Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney.
*****
BUM MUST-SEE TV: The series premiere of Proven Innocent airs Friday night at 8:00 on Fox. The Season 3 premiere of Ransom airs Saturday night at 7:00 on CBS. Season 6 of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver kicks off Sunday night at 10:00 on HBO.
*****
BUM MUST-SEE MOVIES: Isn’t It Romantic and Happy Death Day 2U
*****
QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “With all the political controversy, Virginia has so embarrassed itself that West Virginia is changing its name to East Kentucky.” – Argus Hamilton
*****
SAVE THE DATE: Tuesday, February 19 – Premiere of GRDA film Our Borrowed Water at Ecosystems Center in Langley at 6:00 p.m. Thursday, February 28 – South Grand Chamber Charity Pie/Dessert Auction at Cherokee Yacht Club. Friday-Sunday, March 1-3 – “Welcome Back Weekend” on Grand Lake! Saturday, March 2 – Mardi Gras party at Monkey Island Pub. Saturday, March 2 – Murder Mystery Dinner at Shangri-La Resort Hotel. Thursday-Sunday, March 7-10 – Grove Boat Show, Grove Civic Center. Sunday, March 10 – DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME RETURNS! Saturday, March 16 – Annual St. Patrick’s Day Party & Dance at Monkey Island Pub. Thursday-Sunday, March 21-24 – Sumner’s Big Meat Run in Disney. Saturday, March 23 – Ladies Wine Tasting at The Casitas followed by a co-ed karaoke & dance party at Grand Meridian RV Park. Sunday, March 24 – Shangri-La Lake-to-Golf 5K. Saturday, April 13 – South Grand Lake Chamber Bootlegger’s Ball at Cherokee Yacht Club. Saturday, May 4 – Burning of the Socks at Harbors View Marina – music by 5th Element. Saturday, May 18 – Ales & Tails at the Craig County Fairgrounds in Vinita. Friday-Saturday, May 31-June 1 – Toes in the Grand celebration at Wolf Creek Park in Grove.
*****
It’s All-Star weekend for the NBA. The OKC Thunder play on the last night before the All-Star break. They’ll be in New Orleans to take on the Pelicans Thursday night at 7:00 (TNT). All-Star festivities begin Friday night with the “World vs. USA” match at 8:00. The big All-Star game itself is Sunday night at 7:00. Everything is on TNT.
With a shortage of NBA action, the college schedule has risen to the occasion. Tulsa starts this week’s action at Tulane Thursday night at 6:00 (ESPNU). Saturday, OU is a TCU at 11:00 (ESPN2) and OSU is at Texas at noon (CBS). Two other great Saturday games are on the schedule, too – North Carolina State at Duke at 5:00 and Tennessee at Kentucky at 7:00, both on ESPN. Sunday at noon, Wichita State is at Cincinnati (ESPN). Tennessee is back on the court hosting Vanderbilt Tuesday night at 6:00. Wednesday night action includes Villanova at Georgetown at 5:30 (FS1), Louisville at Syracuse at 6:00 (ESPN) and North Carolina at Duke at 8:00 (ESPN).
PGA Players are in Pacific Palisades, California this week as Tiger Woods hosts the Genesis Open. Coverage begins at 1:00 Thursday & Friday and noon Saturday & Sunday on The Golf Channel. CBS picks up the final two rounds at 2:00 Saturday and Sunday.
It’s a huge week for over-anxious NASCAR fans, too. The Daytona 500 is finally here = Sunday afternoon at 1:30 on Fox.
*****
It looks like we might get a little break from the weekend weather ahead. High temperatures are actually forecast to begin with a “5.” That’s an improvement, for sure. Of course, the weather is always great for dining & drinking at Grand Lake in February – and it’s Valentine weekend, for heaven’s sake. So, party on! Remember, though…wherever you decide to party, be sure to buy a drink for the guy next to you. It could be me.
GRAND LAKE BUM
Want more information on advertisers you see in the Grand Lake Bum? No problem. Just click on their ad and you will be connected to their web site. If you would like to join the growing list of sponsors of The Grand Lake Bum e-blast and the Bum’s page on both grandlakenewsonline.com and www.360grandlake.com, as well as Grand Times on Grand Lake, the cost is only $50 a week and the list of readers is growing. E-mail or contact grandlakebum@gmail.com to sign up. The Grand Lake Bum column is also published in The Grand Laker.
Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area? Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.
1909 in Downtown Grove
Ailey’s Café in Langley
American Grill in Grove
Aquabar & Grill at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)
Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley
Balcony Bar at The Shebang (Smoking – open Friday & Saturday nights)
Big Shots on Monkey Island (Open Friday & Saturday nights)
Blind Swine on Monkey Island
Blue Bluff Café at Blue Bluff Harbor
Bobbers Café in Langley
Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)
Café Italia on Monkey Island
Café Yum in Grove
Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)
Ceasar’s Place in Vinita and at Littlefield Corner
Checkered Past in Grove
Chickanella’s in Grove
Chicken Coop West of Langley
Clanton’s Café in Vinita
Coffee Shelter in Ketchum
Cosby’s Catfish on Highway 28 in Eucha (East of Disney)
Doc’s Bar & Grill at Shangri-La Resort Hotel
Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina
Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)
Drake’s on the Lake at Blue Bluff Harbor
Drake’s Restaurant in Grove
Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina
Gabby’s Place in downtown Grove
Goodfella’s Pizza (Cleora and Grove)
Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)
Grand Lodge in Ketchum (smoking)
Hatfield’s Saloon in Grove
Henrie’s Grill in Grove
High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)
Hilltop Café in Grove
Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)
Juan Montez Restaurant & Cantina at Red Arrow Marina
Karrie's Kaboose in Langley (smoking)
La Casita de Martin in downtown Grove
Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum
Los Garcias in Langley
Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove
Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)
Monkey’s Uncle at Littlefield Corner (Breakfast & lunch)
Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)
Mulligan’s at Patricia Island Golf Club in Grove
Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove
Pappy’s Bar on Hwy 10 east of Grove
Pickles at the Lake in Langley
Pit Stop Café in Grove
Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)
Raggedy’s in Grove
Rancho Viejo in Grove
Riggs & Company in Langley
River Bend Casino in Wyandotte (smoking)
Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)
Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)
Scooters in Langley (smoking)
Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)
Sticky Fingers Barbecue in Ketchum
Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)
The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice
The Landings Marina (smoking on the deck)
The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)
The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)
The Office Gentlemen’s Club on Monkey Island (smoking)
The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)
The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)
Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)
VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)
Water Side Bar & Grill in Grove
Waterway Café, Harbors View Marina (smoking on breakwater dining deck)
Wolf Creek Diner in Grove