Independence Day in Review by The Grand Lake Bum
There’s just no place like Grand Lake for the Independence Day holiday celebration! Boat parades, fireworks, air shows, lots of entertainment options – and best of all, we enjoyed great water, great boating etiquette, and fabulous weather. Even the outside temperature never hit that point where the heat seems to ignite alcohol-infused breath and break into a fight. Good job, lakers.
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It looked to me like a lot of Grand Lake visitors applied logic and reason to their 4th of July holiday visit. With the actual holidayon Tuesday, it’s difficult to figure out which weekend to add. I’ve run across a lot of pretty smart people who just played it safe by staying at the lake all week. Why try to figure out which five days to play? It’s much smarter to take the question off the table by staying for the entire 10-day holiday.
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We might have had a few good stories of drinking and not thinking over the weekend, but nobody at Grand Lake topped the partier in Halifax, Canada. He drank, and drank, and drank. Then he made it to the house, fixed a snack, made some tea and, in order not to disturb the wife, he passed out on the sofa in the living room. At 3:00 o’clock in the morning he was awakened by police officers that told him he had, in fact, disturbed the wife. And by the way, it was not his wife…and was not his house, either. The cops did find a place for him to go back to sleep. Probably not as comfy as the sofa, though.
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At Grand Lake, there’s no time to rest up from the holiday. Every weekend has great entertainment options around Grand Lake. This is the time we love to play. Two weekends of boat racing are just ahead – and on that second weekend (July 13-15) we’ll combine the GLOC Performance Boat Shootout with the big Aquapalooza party. That weekend may have more boats on the water than the 4th of July. It’s party time on Grand Lake!
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At Grand Lake, we don’t think anything about mostly naked people, but that does make you tend to stand out in the metro areas of Orange County, Florida. Especially at night. 26-year-old Alexandra Pablos found that out when she escaped from jail at 3:00in the morning. Jail officials figured something was amiss when they found her empty orange jump suit at the prison perimeter. Sure enough, a helicopter crew spotted her – the only woman in a business complex at 4:00 in the morning wearing nothing but a bra & panties. Just to make the entertainment package complete, authorities sent a police dog after her. That worked – but if it had been in the daytime, they could have sold tickets in Florida. A dog wrestling with a woman wearing only a bra & panties? Shows like that are normally sell-outs in Florida, I think.
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Not all the idiots are in Florida, though. In Tulsa, there’s a new billboard which Marisa Keeland funded on behalf of her Flat Earth Club. It simply shows to photographs with a huge headline that asks, “Is the Earth flat?” It shows a close-up image of the earth which appears to be flat up close, of course – and a second photo she claims is the “devil’s deception” which shows a curved surface of the earth. Ironically, the “fake image” of a curved earth turns out to be an actual photograph of earth taken from space. You can’t fix stupid. I just wish people would take it somewhere besides Oklahoma.
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Liquor regulators in Texas might take the cake in the “here’s your sign” competition – and a couple of Administrative Law judges agreed. The largest liquor retailer in the state of Texas, Spec’s Wine & Spirits, had apparently been a day or two late with a $700 payment to a supplier back in 2011. Ever since then, the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission had ordered Spec’s to either pay a $713 million fine, or close all of its 164 stores in the state. The case finally got to court last week, and the judge seemed to wonder what the vindictive TABC officials had been smoking. Instead of a $713 million fine, the judges ordered a warning – and told Spec’s to go ahead and continue their expanding economic developments in the Lone Star State.
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Fark’s Darwin Award this week goes to a 22-year-old Bakersfield, California man, but he’s not around to accept the award personally. The Kern River was absolutely raging due to phenomenal inflow due to melting snows. 22 people have been rescued on the river in recent weeks…so authorities warned the young man not to jump in the river because he might drown. He jumped in the river anyway. And, of course, drowned.
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President Trump has had a few missteps in the last few weeks, but at least his legislative team won’t have to work so hard. At a rally in Iowa last week, the President announced plans for a sweeping new law that would prohibit illegal immigrants from getting welfare. His team later found out that prohibition had already been passed into law…20 years ago. As Secretary Rick Perry would say, “Oops.”
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BEST SIGN SEEN THIS WEEK: Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you’re right.
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BEST FACEBOOK POST THIS WEEK: If my body is ever found dead on a jogging trail, just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there.
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LEGAL TIP OF THE WEEK (from Josh Davis): If you’ve just failed your 9th drug test in a row, it’s probably not a good idea to tell the judge, “it’s just a little meth, what’s the big deal?”
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GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: Happy Birthday wishes go out this week to Virginia Gibson, Patsy Williams, Bill Kimball, Rod Wadel, Arlita Raby, Jack Doney, Brian Ruth, Terry Jones, Kerry Kimmons, Kelly Whitehead, Sonya DeArmond, Jaime Dobbins, Jon Wilson, Tami Wilson, Bob Graper, and Mike Aberle.
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UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK: Why are raisins called raisins if they’re just dried grapes? Why not just call them dried grapes?
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BEST EVENTS OF THE WEEK: The re-scheduled Bob McSpadden Memorial Fireworks display is Friday night in Vinita at the high school football stadium. Festivities begin at 7:30, fireworks at 9:30. SDBA Drag Boat Races are Saturday & Sunday in Wolf Creek. Shangri-La Sports Camp is Monday-Thursday, July 10-13.
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GRAND LAKE WEEKEND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT: There’s great entertainment around the lake this weekend. On Monkey Island, you provide a big part of the entertainment at The Balcony Bar at The Shebang, with Friday and Saturday night karaoke. Downstairs in the Burlesque Room, Randy Lunsford provides the weekend entertainment; and across the street at Big Shots Rhythm & Booze, enjoy all the best dance tunes Friday & Saturday nights. Just down the highway from there, Fridaynight is Karaoke Night at Monkey Island Pub. A little further down the road, there’s always great live weekend entertainment at the Road Hog Saloon.
On South Grand Lake, Friday night is karaoke night at Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina. Saturday night, Sharky’s will host The Fabulous Two Man Band.
Area casinos have excellent musical options this weekend, as well. AC/DC tribute band Back in Black will entertain Fridaynight at Grand Lake Casino. Buffalo Run Casino’s Trailer Park Bar & Grill will host The Maylee Thomas Band both Friday andSaturday nights. Wednesday, July 12 Buffalo Run’s Peoria Showplace will feature Shinedown. If you don’t already have tickets, don’t bother. The Shinedown show is sold out. Cherokee Casino Grove will feature Pumpkin Hollow Friday night and AC/DC tribute band KC/DC Saturday night. At River Bend Casino in Wyandotte, Club 60 West spotlights The Bobby D Band Fridaynight. Saturday night is another big UFC 213: Watch Party – Nunes vs. Shevchenko 2. At Indigo Sky Casino, there is live entertainment in the Echo Bar starting Thursday night with music by Torn. Friday night features the music of Southern Groundfollowed by Paralandra Saturday night.
The best spots to catch all your favorite sports action, including NASCAR and PGA Golf are Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina, Doc’s Bar & Grill at Shangri-La Resort Hotel, Monkey Island Pub, the Standing Room Only Bar at The Shebang, Road Hog Saloon, 1909 in Grove, and Pickles at the Lake in Langley.
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BUM MUST-SEE TV: The debut of Castlevania is available Friday on NETFLIX. Alec Baldwin: One Night Only is on Spike Sunday night at 8:00; and the series premiere of Candy Crush is also Sunday night at 8:00 on CBS. Sweet Home Oklahomaairs Monday night at 9:00 on Bravo.
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BUM MUST-SEE MOVIES: Spider-Man: Homecoming, Undercover Grandpa, and Ghost Story
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “If you can’t stand the heat, set fire to everybody else’s house. – Randy Krehbiel
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SAVE THE DATE: Thursday-Saturday – July 13-15 – Oklahoma Legislative Retreat on Grand Lake. Thursday-Sunday, July 13-16 – GLOC Performance Boat Challenge. Saturday, July 15 – Aquapalooza. Saturday, July 15 – Pirates & Winches Costume Party at Monkey Island Pub. Saturday, July 22 – Bobber Drop. Monday-Tuesday, July 24-25 – Tri-State Women’s Championship Golf Tournament at Shangri-La Golf Club. Friday-Sunday, August 18-20 – Thunder on Wolf Creek (boat races).Saturday, August 19 – Barkarita (fundraising party for Second Chance Pet Rescue) at Honey Creek Landing in Grove.
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The PGA Tour heads to West Virginia this week for the Greenbrier Classic. Coverage on the Golf Channel begins at 2:00 p.m.Thursday & Friday, and noon Saturday & Sunday. CBS picks up the final two rounds Saturday & Sunday at 2:00.
NASCAR drivers are in Kentucky this weekend for the Quaker State 400. Coverage starts at 6:30 Saturday night on NBCSN.
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Weather for the weekend ahead looks pretty nice. We might have a shower or two Saturday night and early Sunday, but mostly we’ll have a few clouds and hot days. High temperatures will be in the low 90s. Get out and enjoy all Grand Lake has to offer, but remember, wherever you decide to play, be sure to buy a drink for the guy next to you. It could be me.
GRAND LAKE BUM
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Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area? Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.
1909 in Downtown Grove
American Grill in Grove
Aquabar & Grill at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)
Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley
Balcony Bar at The Shebang (Smoking – open Friday & Saturday nights)
Big Shots on Monkey Island (smoking upstairs—open Friday & Saturday nights)
Blind Swine on Monkey Island
Bobbers Café in Langley
Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)
Café Italia on Monkey Island
Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)
Ceasar’s Place in Vinita and on Monkey Island
Chickanella’s in Grove
Chicken Coop West of Langley
Clanton’s Café in Vinita
Coffee Shelter in Ketchum
Cosby’s Catfish on Highway 28 in Eucha (East of Disney)
Doc’s Bar & Grill at Shangri-La Resort Hotel
Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina
Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)
Drake’s on the Lake at Blue Bluff Harbor
Drake’s Restaurant in Grove
Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina
Frosty & Edna’s (west of the dam in Langley)
Gabby’s Place in downtown Grove
Goodfella’s Pizza (Cleora and Grove)
Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)
Grand Lodge in Ketchum (smoking)
Hatfield’s Saloon in Grove
High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)
Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)
Juan Montez Restaurant & Cantina at Red Arrow Marina
Karrie's Kaboose in Langley (smoking)
La Casita de Martin in downtown Grove
Lakeside Bar & Grill in Grove at Sail Boat Bridge
Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum
Los Garcias in Langley
Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove
Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)
Monkey’s Uncle at Littlefield Corner (Breakfast & lunch)
Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)
Morrows Bar & Grill in Raper Hollow
Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove
Okie Smokies Barbecue in Grove on Hwy 59 South
Pickles at the Lake in Langley
Pit Stop Café in Grove
Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)
Raggedy’s in Grove
Rancho Viejo in Grove
Riggs & Company in Langley
River Bend Casino in Wyandotte (smoking)
Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)
Roadhouse 125 on Monkey Island (smoking deck)
Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)
Scooters in Langley (smoking)
Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)
Smokin’ Spur BBQ & Trading Post at Old Towne Plaza, Cleora
Sticky Fingers Barbecue in Ketchum
Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)
The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice
The Landings Marina (smoking on the deck)
The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)
The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)
The Office on Monkey Island (smoking)
The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)
The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)
Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)
VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)
Water Side Bar & Grill in Grove
Waterway Café, Harbors View Marina (smoking on breakwater dining deck)
Wolf Creek Diner in Grove