May 11 Random Observations Of The Grand Lake Bum
The bars are back! Oklahoma enters Phase 2 of the COVID-19 economic recovery this weekend. Bars may now join restaurants offering drink-in service. Most businesses are open – and so is Grand Lake!
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I hope everyone had a chance to spend a little time with their mothers over the Mothers Day weekend. Now it’s time to look to the earlier-than-normal Memorial Holiday weekend coming up next week. Normally, this would be the weekend for you to make sure your boat is in working order before the big kick-off of the major boating season on Memorial Weekend. That’s not the case this year. My pals who are boat mechanics assure me that, with so many people quarantining at Grand Lake, the major boating season on Grand actually started about the first of April. Apparently, all the boaters have already broken their boats and had them repaired once; so I guess we’re all good to go. Marina operators assure me that gasoline sales for boats undoubtedly outpaced gasoline sales for cars during the past month.
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Coronavirus Craziness continues. It had to happen sooner or later, right? Security guards used to be killed by masked gunmen, but now there’s a new twist. Gunmen who don’t want to wear a mask. It happened at a Family Dollar Store in Michigan. A security guard refused to allow a couple and their son inside the store without masks. So…they killed him, of course. What the hell, people? And, just in case you think the crazies are limited to faraway places, Oklahoma City isn’t that far away. A suspect has been arrested after she was apparently upset that the dining area of a South Oklahoma City McDonald’s was not open, due to COVID-19. So, what’s the natural response? She went to her car, got her gun, and came back inside to shoot the place up, of course. You can’t fix stupid. Apparently, you can’t quarantine it, either.
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Rules? What rules? We don’t have many at the lake, but be careful out there. We’re all about the fun, but you don’t want to be like that El Reno, OK city councilman arrested and booked for DUI in his golf cart. Driving at 11:50 p.m. on a street. With no headlights or tail lights. Drunk. Don’t be that guy.
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Did you hear the coverage of last week’s U.S. Supreme Court virtual hearing when listeners could clearly hear a toilet flush during the hearing? Since no one ratted anybody out, it’s a certainty that the flusher was a Supreme Court Justice. Peter Sagal says the only remaining question is, “Was it a ‘sitting’ Supreme Court Justice or a ‘standing’ Supreme Court Justice?”
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What could be goofier than a TV series based on wacko Joe Exotic? Oh, I know! Nicholas Cage has been cast to portray the “Tiger King.”
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Fencing: the perfect COVID-19 sport. 1) Masks 2) Gloves 3) If anyone gets closer than 6 feet to you, you stab them.
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DINING AND DRINKING UPDATE: The Café at Har-Ber Village is now open. The Shebang is open for dine-in. The Artichoke is also open with limited dine-in space (both continue to offer takeout), as are Grand Lake Public House, Cosby’s Catfish, VIP Pizza, The Parrot Steakhouse & Grill, Juan Montez, Road Hog Saloon, Mulligans, and Honey Creek BBQ. Arrowhead and Cherokee Yacht Clubs are open, as is Monkey Island Pub. The Summit at Shangri-La is open (members only Mon-Sat, open to the public Sundays); and Eddy’s Lakeside Bar, Blind Swine, and The Lighthouse open Friday. Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill is open for curbside and dockside delivery Friday & Saturday noon-8:00 and Sunday noon-6:00. VIP Pizza at Hammerhead has expanded to five-day-a-week operations, Wednesday-Sunday. Quarterdeck has curbside/dockside service and plans to open for dine-in Memorial weekend. Sharky’s does not yet have a firm opening date. Doc’s at Shangri-La offers curbside pickup of pizza, grocery packages and weekend “family meal” packages, but is not open for dine-in service.
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PUBLIC EVENT CANCELLATION NOTICE: The Grove Area Chamber of Commerce Golf Tournament has been postponed until Friday, June 26. The GRDA Safe Boating class May 16 (in Langley) has been canceled. The Grove Rotary Club 2020 Lobsterfest scheduled for June 19 and the Rock the Dock Raft-Up/Music Festival scheduled for June 20 at Check-In Bay have been canceled. The Grand Lake Fireworks Cliff Elliott Memorial Fireworks Show has been canceled this year – but Duck Creek, Monkey Island, and Wolf Creek scheduled fireworks shows are a “go.”
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BEST EVENTS OF THE WEEK: Shangri-La Resort Hotel reopens Wednesday (better get those Memorial weekend reservations made). Boaters will be on the water and golfers on the course during the beautiful Grand Lake weekend ahead. Miami’s “Dragging Main” event featuring a variety of cars – and yours – is Friday night from 6:30-9:00. The Faulconer Duo & Friends and Sidecars will be performing for tips Saturday night at Grand Meridian RV Park beginning at 7:00. Food trucks on hand, too.
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RANDY KREHBIEL’S RANDOM FACTOID OF THE WEEK: The decathlon won by Jim Thorpe in the 1912 Olympics was the only one in which he ever participated.
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NEW CORONAVIRUS DRINKING UPDATE: For the first time in the history of over-indulging on Cinco de Mayo, this year you could get by with calling in sick with the Corona virus.
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CORONAVIRUS OBSERVATION: Pretty wild how we used to eat cake after someone had blown on it.
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BEST FACEBOOK POST OF THE WEEK: The end of stay-at-home orders doesn’t mean the pandemic is over. It just means they now have a ventilator and a room available for you in ICU
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HOME SCHOOLING THOUGHT OF THE WEEK: Homeschooling has gotten rid of one taboo. It’s no longer a big deal if your teacher is sleeping with the principal.
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BEST SIGN SEEN THIS WEEK: Carrots may be good for your eyes, but booze will double your vision.
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TWEET OF THE WEEK: Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the internet arguing with strangers about politics.
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BEST PUN OF THE WEEK on (a sign seen in front of a closed strip club during the COVID-19 quarantine): Clothed Until April 30.
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OBSERVATION OF THE WEEK: Let’s play a game. Your “Coronavirus Alcoholic Name” is…your first name followed by your last name.
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FEEL OLD MOMENT OF THE WEEK: Don Shula, the legendary coach of the undefeated 1972 Miami Dolphins and the winningest coach in NFL history, died last week. He was 90 years old. Flamboyant rocker Little Richard died over the weekend. He was 87.
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GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: Happy birthday wishes go out this week to Joe Landon, Pat McConn, Donna Altmiller, Shari Bell, Kevin Brady, Chance Grubb, Nancy Adkisson, Maxine Duncan, Gary Cameron, Greg Mantia, Gaylyn Haynes, Vicki Stockwell, Gayle Larimore, and Charlie Mitchell!
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UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK: What will be the #1 result of the COVID-19 quarantine? More babies? Or more divorces?
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BUM MUST-SEE TV: Saturday night at 7:00, all major networks (20 in all) will televise the star-studded Graduate Together: America Honors the High School Class of 2020. The series premiere of Hightown airs Sunday night at Sunday night at 7:00 on Starz, and the series premiere of The Genetic Detective airs next Tuesday night at 9:00 on ABC.
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BUM MUST-SEE MOVIES: The Wrong Misery and She-Ra and the Princesses of Power are available this weekend on NETFLIX.
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “When you’re born, you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front row seat.” – George Carlin
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SAVE THE DATE: Friday, May 22 – 2020 Maiden Voyage of the Grand Lake Queen Riverboat (6:00 p.m.) Saturday, May 23 – Farmer’s Market opens in Grove. Friday, June 12 – American Heritage Music Festival and National Fiddle Contest at Wolf Creek Park, Grove. Saturday-Sunday, May 23-24 – Big Smitty performs at Eddy’s Lakeside Bar. Friday-Sunday, June 12-14 – Toes in the Grand Summer Kickoff Festival at Wolf Creek Park in Grove. Saturday, June 14 – Thunder on Wolf Creek boat races. Friday, June 26 – Grove Chamber Golf Tournament at Patricia Island. Friday-Saturday, June 26-28 – Grand Jam Music Fest at Grand Meridian RV Park.
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SPORTS NON-WATCH: Monday Night Baseball is back on ESPN. You might not recognize the players, though. They’re so hard up they’re televising South Korean baseball.
The NBA has canceled its May 14 draft lottery and combine due to the Coronavirus threat. If you’re really hard up for contact “sports,” remember – there’s always WWE professional wrestling. And every ESPN channel is filled with games, matches, and tournaments you don’t remember. Watch ‘em again to remind yourself who won.
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The bad news for the weekend ahead is there’s a pretty good chance of rain Friday & Saturday mornings – but decreasing to “scattered” showers in the afternoons. The good news is, we’ll add another 10-12 degrees to last weekend’s temperatures, with highs in the mid 70s and lows around 60. If you’re heading out to a newly re-opened bars this weekend, buy a drink for the guy six feet from you. It could be me!
GRAND LAKE BUM
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Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area? Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.
1909 in Downtown Grove
Ailey’s Café in Langley
Aquabar & Grill at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)
Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley
Balcony Bar at The Shebang (Smoking – open Friday & Saturday nights)
Big Shots on Monkey Island (Open Friday & Saturday nights)
Blind Swine on Monkey Island
Blue Bluff Café at Blue Bluff Harbor
Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)
Café Italia on Monkey Island
Café Yum in Grove
Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)
Ceasar’s Place in Vinita and at Littlefield Corner
Checkered Past in Grove
Chickanella’s in Grove
Chicken Coop West of Langley
Clanton’s Café in Vinita
Coppers Tea & Coffee House in Grove
Cosby’s Catfish on Highway 28 in Eucha (East of Disney)
Doc’s Bar & Grill at Shangri-La Resort Hotel
Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina
Domino’s in Grove
Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)
Drake’s on the Lake at Blue Bluff Harbor
Drake’s Restaurant in Grove
Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina (smoking)
Gabby’s Place in downtown Grove
Goodfella’s Pizza (Cleora and Grove)
Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)
Grand Lake Public House in Grove
Hatfield’s Saloon in Grove
Henrie’s Grill in Grove
High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)
Honey Creek BBQ in Grove (south of Honey Creek bridge)
Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)
Juan Montez Restaurant & Cantina at Red Arrow Marina
La Casita de Martin in downtown Grove
Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum
Los Garcias in Langley
Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove
Matt’s Place in Grove
Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)
Monkey’s Uncle at Littlefield Corner (Breakfast & lunch)
Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)
Morrow’s Bar & Grill at Morrow’s Landing
Mulligan’s at Patricia Island Golf Club in Grove
Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove
Pappy’s Bar on Hwy 10 east of Grove
Pickles at the Lake in Langley
Pit Stop Café in Grove
Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)
Raggedy’s in Grove
Rancho Viejo in Grove
Riggs & Company in Langley
River Bend Casino in Wyandotte (smoking)
Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)
Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)
Scooters in Langley (smoking)
Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)
Sticky Fingers Barbecue in Ketchum
Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)
The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice
The Landings Marina (smoking on the deck)
The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)
The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)
The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)
The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)
Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)
VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)
Water Side Bar & Grill in Grove
Waterway Café, Harbors View Marina (smoking on breakwater dining deck)
Wolf Creek Diner in Grove