November 27th Random Observations From The Grand Lake Bum
Thanksgiving is now a distant sight in the rearview mirror and, just like a deer that pops up unexpectedly on the highway this time of year, here is December already. ‘Tis the season – pageants, parades, Christmas movies, Christmas specials, Christmas parties, college bowl games, NFL playoffs, A Christmas Story and the return of Jimmy Stewart in an overload of It’s a Wonderful Life. The holiday season is officially underway.
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I spent a great Thanksgiving weekend with a lot of friends and a lot of families. We talked a lot of politics. That worked out fine – at least it cut my Christmas shopping list way down!
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If you haven’t already started decorating your boat for the Christmas Lights Boat Parade, you wasted a beautiful weekend – and you’d better get to work. The parade is a week from Saturday. If you have never participated in the parade and you don’t know what to do, call Cherokee Yacht Club. They’ll get you on the right track.
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Sometimes, it’s just hard to figure people out. Like the five naked people who abducted a couple and their baby in Alberta, Canada. The family escaped, and were picked up by a truck driver – only to have the truck rammed from behind by the kidnappers. The bad guys were caught and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police charged them with kidnapping and resisting arrest. Nobody ever explained why the kidnappers were naked but officials with the RCMP said “there might have been alcohol involved.” Ya’ think????
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I like Kentucky Fried Chicken just fine, but I wouldn’t want to be one. Twitter users in Japan actually have a chance to see what that would be like. They can be entered to win one of 100 KFC “bath bombs” supposedly created with the “11 secret herbs and spices” that make up KFC’s signature breading. Uhhh….no, thanks.
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Good news for those of us who enjoy a little booze (or a lot): there are worse things. Not many, but at least four. Scientists have now established the list of most addictive substances in the world. Number 1 is heroin. Cocaine takes second place, followed by nicotine and barbiturates. Alcohol is a paltry fifth most addictive. Although those of us who smoke and drink have nailed two out of five in the addiction scale. Or, as I prefer to call it…committed!
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In Modesto, California, Jackson Riley was suspended from school for making “terroristic threats.” When told to remove his backpack, he said he couldn’t because there was a bomb in it. When asked for permission to search his backpack, he readily agreed. Nothing. Nonetheless, he was still suspended for his terroristic threats. Oh, one more thing. He’s five years old.
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I’m sure we’ve all heard lots of hunting stories over the past week or two, but it’s hard to top the one from Siberia where a hunt witnessed a bear breaking into his hunting cabin, and leaving with the hunter’s bag of clothes, and both of his rifles. Or, as my pals at Fark explained it: “In America, we bear arms. In Russia, they arm bears.”
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It’s hard to top the multiple charges filed in La Grande, Washington – and it’s certainly hard to imagine the circumstances that led to the filing of felony driving under the influence, vehicular assault, and child endangerment. It came after the man lost control of his car, ran off the road, and hit a tree south of Tacoma. Officers said he was responsible for the injury accident because he was drunk, naked, and had a naked passenger with him who was having sex with him at the time of the accident. Sometimes, you should just take things one at a time instead of trying to make everything happen at once. Oh, the child endangerment charge? That’s because the woman’s 3-month-old baby was uninjured…but was in the back seat during the, ummm, “incident.”
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When I get one of those bossy, negative Facebook messages asking me to post something on my time line, even though “most won’t,” I always make it a point to prove them right.
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BEST FACEBOOK POST THIS WEEK: A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget’s Thesaurus crashed on the interstate, shedding its load across the highway, according to Associated Press. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.
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BEST SIGN SEEN THIS WEEK: You’ve already put up your Christmas tree? That’s nothing. I’m already drunk for St. Patrick’s Day.
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TWEET OF THE WEEK: When I have a panic attack, I put a brown paper sack over my mouth and drink all the bourbon inside. It seems to help.
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A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF REALTORS: “It's a fact, eliminating state and local tax deductions and crippling the value of the home mortgage deduction is a tax increase on middle class homeowners. Urge Senators Inhofe and Lankford to oppose raising taxes on Oklahoma families!”
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GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: Happy birthday wishes go out this week to Terry Davis, Buddy Yandell, John Vance, Sandra Knop, Roger Decker, Mike Vaughn, Ben Gibbs, Dave Faulkner, Mike McCurdy, Chip Keating, Marty Follis, Ellen Conklin, Darrel Hicks, Marshall Brackin, Ryan Blakemore, Hunter Burkholder, Judie Clark, Sharon Mical, and Rita Hitzeman.
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UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK: Why does it take 15 minutes to cook Minute Rice?
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BEST EVENT OF THE WEEK: Friday night – Live performance of Every Christmas Story You’ve Ever Heard (and then some) at 7:30 at Playmakers in Grove.
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GRAND LAKE WEEKEND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT: There are great entertainment options around the lake this weekend. I’m hoping Randy Lunsford will recover from recent surgery quickly enough to return to The Shebang for nightly entertainment this weekend. Across the street At Big Shots Rhythm & Booze, dance the night away on Saturday with great dance tunes. Just down the highway from there, Friday night is Karaoke Night at Monkey Island Pub. Erin Fitzgibbon will perform at the Blind Swine Saturday and there’s always great live Saturday night entertainment at the Road Hog Saloon. Lickitty Split will be on stage at Vinita Legion Hall Saturday night.
Area casinos have excellent musical options this weekend, as well. River Bend Casino’s Club 60 West Bar features RendevouXon Friday night, followed by another UFC 218 Watch Party Saturday night. At Indigo Sky Casino, there is live entertainment in the Echo Bar Thursday night with a performance by Georgia Coast. Friday night, Donnie Ray Stevens will be on stage; andSaturday, Sweet Trouble will perform. Aaron Woods will be on stage at Lost Creek Saloon at Bordertown Casino Friday night; and the Whiskey River Band will wrap up the weekend entertainment at Bordertown Saturday night.
The best spots to catch all your favorite sports action, including NFL Football, College Football & Basketball, NBA play, and PGA Golf are Doc’s Bar & Grill at Shangri-La Resort Hotel, Monkey Island Pub, the Standing Room Only Bar at The Shebang, Blind Swine, Road Hog Saloon, 1909 in Grove, and Pickles at the Lake in Langley.
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BUM MUST-SEE TV: Friday night is a two-hour Season 5 premiere of Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. at 7:00 on ABC. The Carol Burnett 50th Anniversary Special is Sunday night at 7:00 on CBS. Monday night is the 95th Annual National Christmas Tree Lighting from Presidents Park at 6:00 on Hallmark; and also at 7:00 Monday night is a great documentary on HBO – The Newspaperman: The Life and Times of Ben Bradlee.
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BUM MUST-SEE MOVIES: Wonder Wheel and He’s Out There
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “If you're disgusted by the blind allegiance shown by people in both political parties, join with me in starting a new party, where the only things on the platform will be McAlister's Deli iced tea and Guy's BBQ potato chips.” – Jimmie Tramel
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SAVE THE DATE: Thursday, December 7 – Vinita Christmas Parade of Lights (7:00). Saturday, December 9 – Jingle Bell 5K Fun Run at Grove Community Center (8:00 a.m.). Saturday, December 9 – Polar Bear Plunge at Arrowhead Yacht Club.Saturday night, December 9 – Christmas Lights Boat Parade on South Grand Lake. Saturday, December 9 – Gingerbread Christmas Festival Parade in Grove (6:00 p.m.) Saturday, December 16 – “Brunch with Santa” at Shangri-La’s Summit Restaurant (members only). Sunday, December 31 – New Year’s Eve Fundraising Party, Dance & Celebration at Playmakers in Grove.
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In the sports world, it’s Conference Championship weekend most places. OU and TCU will face off for the Big 12 title Saturday morning at 11:30 (Fox). Championship action begins Friday night with Stanford and USC. Saturday, the Georgia-Auburn SEC Championship game is at 3:00 on CBS, Miami-Clemson match-up is on ABC and Ohio State faces Wisconsin on Fox, both at7:00 Saturday evening.
NFL action kicks off Thursday night with Dallas hosting Washington. Sunday’s noon games feature Denver at Miami (Fox) and Kansas City at the New York Jets (CBS). At 3:30, Carolina is in New Orleans (Fox). Sunday night’s game showcases Philadelphia at Seattle (NBC); and Monday Night Football spotlights Pittsburgh at Cincinnati (ESPN).
The OKC Thunder are home for a few days hosting Minnesota Friday night (7:00), San Antonio Sunday (6:00), and UtahTuesday (7:00) – all on Fox Sports Oklahoma.
The OKC Thunder host the Detroit Pistons Friday night (7:00) before heading to Dallas to face the Mavericks Saturday night (7:30). Next Wednesday, they’ll be in Orlando (6:00). All three games will be televised on Fox Sports Oklahoma.
It’s a big week in professional golf as Tiger Woods returns to The Tour hosting the Hero World Challenge in the Bahamas. Coverage will be on the Golf Channel Thursday & Friday beginning at 11:30. NBC picks up coverage of the final two rounds beginning at 1:30 Saturday and noon Sunday.
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The Grand Lake weather for the first weekend in December starts off good and gets better by the day. We’ll have sunshine throughout, with Friday highs in the mid-50s, jumping to 60 on Saturday and 5 Sunday. Grand Lake is the perfect spot to enjoy the holiday season – but to buy a drink for the guy next to you. It could be me.
GRAND LAKE BUM
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Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area? Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.
1909 in Downtown Grove
American Grill in Grove
Aquabar & Grill at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)
Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley
Balcony Bar at The Shebang (Smoking – open Friday & Saturday nights)
Big Shots on Monkey Island (smoking upstairs—open Friday & Saturday nights)
Blind Swine on Monkey Island
Blue Bluff Café at Blue Bluff Harbor
Bobbers Café in Langley
Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)
Café Italia on Monkey Island
Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)
Ceasar’s Place in Vinita and on Monkey Island
Chickanella’s in Grove
Chicken Coop West of Langley
Clanton’s Café in Vinita
Coffee Shelter in Ketchum
Cosby’s Catfish on Highway 28 in Eucha (East of Disney)
Doc’s Bar & Grill at Shangri-La Resort Hotel
Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina
Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)
Drake’s on the Lake at Blue Bluff Harbor
Drake’s Restaurant in Grove
Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina
Frosty & Edna’s (west of the dam in Langley)
Gabby’s Place in downtown Grove
Goodfella’s Pizza (Cleora and Grove)
Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)
Grand Lodge in Ketchum (smoking)
Hatfield’s Saloon in Grove
High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)
Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)
Juan Montez Restaurant & Cantina at Red Arrow Marina
Karrie's Kaboose in Langley (smoking)
La Casita de Martin in downtown Grove
Lakeside Bar & Grill in Grove at Sail Boat Bridge
Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum
Los Garcias in Langley
Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove
Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)
Monkey’s Uncle at Littlefield Corner (Breakfast & lunch)
Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)
Morrows Bar & Grill in Raper Hollow
Mulligan’s at Patricia Island Golf Club in Grove
Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove
Okie Smokies Barbecue in Grove on Hwy 59 South
Pickles at the Lake in Langley
Pit Stop Café in Grove
Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)
Raggedy’s in Grove
Rancho Viejo in Grove
Riggs & Company in Langley
River Bend Casino in Wyandotte (smoking)
Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)
Roadhouse 125 on Monkey Island (smoking deck)
Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)
Scooters in Langley (smoking)
Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)
Smokin’ Spur BBQ & Trading Post at Old Towne Plaza, Cleora
Sticky Fingers Barbecue in Ketchum
Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)
The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice
The Landings Marina (smoking on the deck)
The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)
The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)
The Office on Monkey Island (smoking)
The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)
The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)
Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)
VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)
Water Side Bar & Grill in Grove
Waterway Café, Harbors View Marina (smoking on breakwater dining deck)
Wolf Creek Diner in Grove