The First Weekend in January in Review by The Grand Lake Bum
Okay, I’m ready for winter to be OVER! That cold snap last week just about did me in! As it turns out, there aren’t as many warm adult beverages as you might think. For your information, I discovered that enough properly loaded cold beverages can make you feel warm inside, too. FYI
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The first big challenge of 2017 is just ahead, so you’d better be sure your liquor cabinet is stocked. We wrap up this week with Friday the 13th, and kick off next week with Blue Monday. If we live through the next couple of weeks, we’ll be into boat show season, followed quickly by spring. We’ve just gotta get through the next week or so.
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We get a new President and kick off the Oklahoma boat show season all on the same weekend. I’ll leave swearing in the new President to someone else. I’m going to head to the Oklahoma City RV & Boat Show (January 19-22) to get warmed up for the big one in Tulsa (January 30-February 5). The Tulsa show is a lot better, of course, but the OKC show is in a better neighborhood. All the bars & clubs in Bricktown are within walking distance of the Cox Convention Center. Maybe I’ll concentrate on party training in Bricktown, and leave most the boat shopping for Tulsa where there’s a bigger selection.
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If you’re going to the inauguration in Washington, you should know that President-elect Trump has banned guns from his inauguration and related inaugural activities. I can hear the wheels turning in the NRA’s marketing minds.
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So, how much attention did you pay to the 41 college football bowl games? Which conference had the best winning percentage. SEC? Uh, no. They were tied for sixth (6-6). PAC 12? Nope. That’s who was tied with the SEC for 6th. Big 10? No, they were actually 8th! The worst conference was the Mid American, losing all of their six bowl games, followed by the American Athletic Conference whose wins by Tulsa and South Florida helped them show up on the board with two wins against five losses. Give up? The most successful conference in 2016-17 bowl games was the Big 12, winning 4 games, losing 2.
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If you’re not feeling bad enough about yourself, there’s a new test that can make you feel even worse. During the college bowl games, I saw a commercial for something called Teloyears. You can send in your DNA and have it analyzed to see, not how old you really are, but how old your body thinks it is. So, for a mere $89, you can make yourself feel really bad!
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There’s a new medical study out that should make most of my pals feel a hell of a lot better about themselves. A study by the Department of Psychology at Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts draws a direct correlation between honesty and swearing. It concludes that the more a person swears, the more honest they tend to be. I’ll tell you one thing: I’m surrounded by a bunch of people who are damned honest!
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You can’t judge a son by its title. Organizers of a Christmas caroling event in Sri Lanka proved the point over the holidays. They innocently included a song in a list of songs for carolers. Entitled “Hail Mary,” the song was by the late rapper Tupac Shakur. If you know the song, you’re probably aware that this was likely the first appearance of several words in any Christmas ceremony anywhere, anytime.
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Incoming White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer has demanded that President-Elect Trump be treated “with the respect he deserves.” He’d better be care. I know I sure as hell don’t want what I deserve!! I always hope for mercy, not fairness.
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The airport shooting in Ft. Lauderdale last week was unbelievably tragic – but it’s even more unbelievable that the FBI office in Alaska didn’t do anything when the guy waltzed into their office telling them the voices in his head were telling him to join ISIS. They didn’t even put him on a no-fly list. I can only imaging the conversation: SHOOTER: “I’m being mind-controlled by the CIA to force me to watch ISIS videos and I’m thinking of committing terrorist acts.” FBI: “Nope. No problem here. Oh, btw, here’s your gun back.” Sheesh.
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FACEBOOK POST OF THE WEEK: “I saw a guy at Starbucks today. No iPhone, no tablet, no laptop. He just sat there drinking coffee…like a psychopath.”
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BEST SIGN SEEN THIS WEEK(at a McDonalds drive-thru): “We are currently out of boy toys. Sorry for the inconvenience.” Whaaaat?
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LEGAL TIP OF THE WEEK (from Michael Haggerty): Bringing all your kids to court to elicit sympathy from the judge often causes the opposite response.
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GRAND LAKE DINING & DRINKING UPDATE: A new restaurant, The Coffee Shelter, opens in Ketchum (496 W. Ketchum Ave.) Monday, January 16 – breakfast, soup, sandwiches and, of course…coffee. Coming very soon to Grove (4 West 3rd) – 1909 Restaurant and affiliated Blue Duck Brew House with craft beers.
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GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: Happy Birthday wishes go out this week to Jacqui Haglund, Paul Bulten, Brianna Case, Sandy Scott, Kristi Mullinax, Dale Forrest, Linday Young, Mickey Landers, Leslie Hudson, Benee Masri, and Ron Ryan.
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UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK: Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
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BEST EVENT OF THE WEEK: Opening of The Coffee Shelter in Ketchum Monday, January 16.
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GRAND LAKE WEEKEND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT: There are plenty of entertainment options around the lake this weekend, including Randy Lunsford performing through the weekend in the Burlesque Room at The Shebang. Friday night is karaoke night at Monkey Island Pub, and there’s always great weekend fun at the Road Hog Saloon.
Area casinos have excellent musical options this weekend, as well. At Wyandotte Casino’s Club 60 West Bar, The Dropoutskick off the Wyandotte weekend Friday night. The Pumpkin Hollow Band will be on stage Friday night at 1897 Bar at Cherokee Casino Grove, followed by NighTTrain on Saturday night. The weekend at Downstream Casino kicks off withFriday night country music from The Bobby D Band at Legends Sports Bar. Saturday night, rock & roll music will be provided by Lost on Utica. Howard Gayles will perform in Downstream’s Lover’s Leap Lounge both nights. Buffalo Run Casino’s Trailer Park Bar & Grill features great music from Kaos Theory both Friday & Saturday nights. At Indigo Sky Casino, there is live entertainment in the Echo Bar starting Thursday night with music by Walrus. The George Brothers will entertain Fridaynight followed by Oreo Blue Saturday night.
The best spots to catch all your favorite sports action, including NBA & college basketball, PGA Golf, and NFL playoff action are the Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La, Monkey Island Pub, the Standing Room Only Bar at The Shebang, Road Hog Saloon, and Pickles at the Lake in Langley.
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BUM MUST-SEE TV: Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events will be available on NetFlix beginning Friday.Victoria, the PBS replacement for Downton Abby, fills the Masterpiece Theater slot beginning Sunday night at 8:00. The Young Pope is also Sunday night at 8:00 on HBO.
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BUM MUST-SEE MOVIES: Live by Night, Patriot’s Day and Sleepless
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “When members of Congress tell Americans to give up their government healthcare, the correct response should be ‘You, first.’” – Andy Borowitz
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SAVE THE DATE: Thursday, January 19 – OKC Boat and RV Show opens at the Cox Convention Center. Saturday, January 28 – A Musical Evening with Ron Young at Big Shots. Monday, January 30 – Opening Night for the Tulsa Boat, Sport & Travel Show (South Grand Lake Chamber buses -$35 per person including show tickets – will leave from the Grove Civic Center at 4:00 and Reasor’s in Langley at 5:00. To reserve seats, call the Chamber at 918-782-3214.)
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NFL playoff action moves into the Divisional Rounds this week. Saturday’s games will be in Atlanta (hosting Seattle at 3:30 on Fox) and New England (hosting Houston at 7:00 on CBS). Sunday’s games will be in Kansas City (versus Pittsburgh at noonon NBC) and Dallas (playing either Green Bay or N.Y. Giants – didn’t know which at press time – at 3:30 on Fox).
In the NBA, TNT’s Thursday night double-header features Chicago at New York at 7:00 and Detroit at Golden State at 9:30.Friday night, the OKC Thunder is at Minnesota (7:00 on Fox Sports Oklahoma). The ESPN Friday Night Double-Header features Boston at Atlanta at 7:00 and Detroit at Utah at 9:30. Sunday night, the Thunder are at Sacramento (8:00 on Fox Sports Oklahoma) and Chicago is at Memphis (8:00 on ESPN). Monday night, TNT has another double-header with Cleveland at Golden State early (7:00) and the OKC Thunder at the L.A. Clippers late (9:30).
College basketball has some good games this week, too. Saturday, all three Oklahoma teams are on the court, and all three are nationally televised. Oklahoma State is at Kansas at 1:00 (ESPN2), Tulsa is at Temple at 3:00 (ESPNEWS), and OU hosts Texas Tech in Norman at 7:30 (ESPNU).
The PGA Tour is in Hawaii for the second consecutive week (smart guys) – this week, it’s the Sony Open. Coverage will be on the Golf Channel beginning at 5:00 Thursday-Sunday.
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After teasing us with spring-like weekday temperatures, Mother Nature is planning a 20-degree drop in high temperatures between Thursday & Friday. The weekend ahead looks a little damp with high temperatures around 40. The good news is, lows won’t be too much below freezing. Find an indoor spot to enjoy some Grand Lake fun. While you’re there, be sure to buy a drink for the guy next to you. It could be me.
GRAND LAKE BUM
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Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area? Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.
1909 in Downtown Grove
American Grill in Grove
Aquabar & Grill at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)
Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley
Balcony Bar at The Shebang (Smoking – open Friday & Saturday nights)
Big Shots on Monkey Island (smoking upstairs—open Friday & Saturday nights)
Bobbers Café in Langley
Book ‘ems at South Wind Marina in Bernice
Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patios)
Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)
Café Italia on Monkey Island
Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)
Ceasar’s Place in Vinita and on Monkey Island
Chickanella’s in Grove
Chicken Coop West of Langley
Clanton’s Café in Vinita
Cosby’s Catfish on Highway 28 in Eucha (East of Disney)
Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina
Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)
Drake’s Restaurant in Grove
Frosty & Edna’s (west of the dam in Langley)
Gabby’s Place in downtown Grove
Goodfella’s Pizza (Cleora and Grove)
Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)
Grand Lodge in Ketchum (smoking)
Hatfield’s Saloon in Grove
High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)
Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)
Juan Montez Restaurant & Cantina at Red Arrow Marina
Karrie's Kaboose in Vinita (smoking)
La Casita de Martin in downtown Grove
Lakeside Bar & Grill in Grove at Sail Boat Bridge
Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum
Los Garcias in Langley
Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove
Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)
Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)
Morrows Bar & Grill in Raper Hollow
Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove
Okie Smokies Barbecue in Grove on Hwy 59 South
Book ‘ems Restaurant & Pub at South Wind Marina in Bernice
Pickles at the Lake in Langley
Pit Stop Café in Grove
Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)
Raggedy’s in Grove
Rancho Viejo in Grove
Riggs & Company in Langley
Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)
Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)
Scooters in Langley (smoking)
Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)
Smokin’ Spur BBQ & Trading Post at Old Towne Plaza, Cleora
Sticky Fingers Barbecue in Ketchum
Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)
Summit Restaurant at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)
The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice
The Landings Marina (smoking on the deck)
The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)
The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)
The Office on Monkey Island (smoking)
The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)
The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)
Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)
VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)
Water Side Bar & Grill in Grove
Waterway Café, Harbors View Marina (smoking on breakwater dining deck)
Wolf Creek Diner in Grove
Wyandotte Nation Casino at Twin Bridges (smoking)