April 20 Random Observations of The Grand Lake Bum
All right, boys and girls. I’m tired of arguing about social distancing, groups of ten, closed businesses and whether or not you think the government ought to be able to tell you what to do. So here’s my deal. I like being alive well enough that I’m going to follow the rules. But you just go ahead and do what you want. Gather up in a raft-up. Spend a day shopping at Wal-Mart. Host a big party. Invite all your friends over for dinner. Have a family reunion. Hug everybody you run across. Pass around a jug. Hell, lick a nursing home window, if you want. We’ll let Darwinism do its work. I just don’t want to argue about it anymore. If you live, we’ll all gather up again when this is over.
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For those of you who think more like I do, you can still have fun. Take your family on a boat ride. Play some golf. Pick up food at local restaurants. Take a ride in the country. Catch up on some good books. Give NETFLIX a workout. Yes, it’s possible to have fun without endangering yourself…or others. And like I said, if you don’t agree, just do whatever you want. Maybe I’ll see you again. Maybe not.
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Governor Stitt is going to unveil his plan for reopening Oklahoma businesses this week. I hope he gets it right. We all need relief, but caution is important. I heard some great words of wisdom this week. People who say, “The curve is flattening, so we can take off all the restrictions” is a little like saying, “Our parachutes have slowed our rate of descent, so we can take them off.”
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There have been lots of questions about a few businesses, and why they have been declared “essential.” Once again, the Sunshine State takes the cake. Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, like many governors, issued a Shelter in Place order, closing all but “essential businesses.” Like many governors, he listed “essential businesses.” Unlike other governors, he listed one business as “essential” that you might not have thought of…professional wrestling. Seriously. But wait, there’s more. WWE President Vince McMahon was among those appointed to President Trump’s “Reopening the Country Commission.” I’m not sure whether or not either one of those moves has anything to do with the $18.5 million Linda McMahon’s Superpac donated to the Trump campaign’s Florida campaign. Surely not.
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Speaking of Florida, the Sunshine State re-opened most of their beaches over the past weekend (despite record numbers of new Coronavirus cases), and they were packed. It makes perfect Florida sense: try to get some sunshine so you look really good at your funeral.
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There is one person who has found a silver lining to the COVID-19 crisis. President Trump’s former personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, is being released from prison due to the Coronavirus threat. He was scheduled to be in prison until November, 2021. Instead, he’ll be released next week after a 14-day quarantine to do the rest of his sentence at home. Next best thing to a commutation of sentence…and he certainly wasn’t likely to get one of those!
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There’s good news from the ABLE Commission. That’s the state agency that regulates the sale of alcoholic beverages. Their authorization for restaurants to deliver wine & beer and for liquor stores to deliver spirits was set to expire last Friday. The Commission extended the permissive ruling until May 15. With the bars still closed, it’s good to know there’s always a back-up supply at the other end of your cell phone.
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CORONAVIRUS SILVER LINING
: If someone had told us ten years ago that the government would pay you to stay home the entire month of 4/20, and that you could only leave your place to pick up snacks and weed, we would have never believed them.
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PUBLIC EVENT CANCELLATION NOTICE: Nichols Marine In-Water Boat Show at Shangri-La Marina May 1-3 has been canceled, as has the May 4 “Burning of the Socks” at Safe Harbor Harbors View Marina. GRDA’s Rush for Brush meeting Saturday, May 9 has also been canceled.
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BEST EVENT OF THE WEEK: Boaters on the water and golfers on the course during the beautiful Grand Lake weekend ahead.
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GRAND LAKE DINING & DRINKING UPDATE: Doc’s at Shangri-La is offering curbside pickup of grocery packages and weekend “family meal” packages. Monkey Island Pub has announced plans to reopen May 1.
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RANDY KREHBIEL’S RANDOM FACTOID OF THE WEEK: When first introduced into the United Kingdom, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were called the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles because "ninja" was deemed too violent for young viewers.
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JIMMIE TRAMEL’S BRILLIANT THOUGHT OF THE WEEK: Treasury could just print a bunch of extra $1,000 bills and give those to everyone. Who would know the difference? And the money wouldn’t even have to be budgeted from somewhere.
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PERFECT SOCIAL DISTANCING CELEBRATION: With the “Safer at Home” order still standing, Shangri-La members couldn’t throw a big birthday bash for Dr. Bill Durick’s 86th birthday, so they organized a golf cart parade past his house, pausing out front to sing “Happy Birthday.” Nice!
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BEST FACEBOOK POST OF THE WEEK: Wearing a mask inside your home is now highly recommended. Not so much to prevent COVID-19, but to stop eating.
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BEST HEADLINE OF THE WEEK (sign of the times): Dow drops 400, Oil falls, NetFlix at 52 week high
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HOME SCHOOLING THOUGHT OF THE WEEK: I’m done with homeschooling. We’re switching to trade school. Mine are going to be bartenders.
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BEST SIGN SEEN THIS WEEK: Some people only write lockdown because they can’t spell kwarinteen.
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TWEET OF THE WEEK: Did a load of pajamas so I would have clean work clothes this week.
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BEST PUN OF THE WEEK: Lettuce come together. Romaine calm. This may just be the tip of the iceberg.
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OBSERVATION OF THE WEEK: The Coronavirus has turned us all into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We’re told “no” if we get to close to strangers; and we get really excited about car rides.
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TEST QUESTION OF THE WEEK: If courage is defined as “knowing it might hurt, and doing it anyway,” and the definition of stupidity is the same, how can we tell the difference?
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FEEL OLD MOMENT OF THE WEEK: The classic Beatles hit “Let It Be” was the number one hit this week…50 years ago.
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GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: Happy birthday wishes go out this week to Travers Mahan, Don Douglas, Gaines Dittrich, Jim Forrester, Jessica Tarbell, Gary Bishop, Judy Dullea, Phil Carrott, Soohyun Jin, Nina Landers, Cindy Estes, Judi Barber, Brad Putnam, John Lewis, Mike Burnett, Julie Morgan, and Becki Farley. Happy 25th wedding anniversary to Richard and Sandy Keep!
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UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK: Why are there no “B” batteries?
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BUM MUST-SEE TV: The NFL 2020 Draft is on ABC Thursday night at 7:00. The series finale of Will & Grace airs Thursday night at 8:00 on NBC followed immediately by a Will & Grace Retrospective. The White House Correspondents’ Dinner featuring SNL’s Kenan Thompson, originally scheduled for Saturday night, has been rescheduled to August 29.
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BUM MUST-SEE MOVIES: Extraction is available Friday on NETFLIX. Bad Education airs Saturday night at 7:00 on HBO.
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “Leadership consists of nothing but taking responsibility for everything that goes wrong and giving your subordinates credit for everything that goes well.” – Dwight Eisenhower
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SAVE THE DATE: We’ll see. Friday, May 1 – Scheduled Season Opening for Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina. Friday, May 1 – Scheduled Season Opening for Sharky’s Bar at Hammerhead Marina. Saturday, May 2 – Scheduled Season Opening for Quarterdeck Café at Tera Miranda Harbor. Saturday, May 2 – 10th Annual Cedar Port Marina Scavenger Hunt benefiting the Ketchum Backpack Program. Friday, May 8 – Grove Chamber Golf Tournament at Patricia Island.
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SPORTS NON-WATCH: Another buzz-kill. The Indianapolis 500 will not run on Memorial Day. For the first time in history, the race will not be run in May. It has been rescheduled for August 23. The closest you can get to live sports coverage is the NFL Draft Thursday night at 7:00 on ABC.
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Woo-hoo! Good weather ahead for boaters and golfers. The forecast for the weekend ahead calls for a chance of a few Saturday morning showers but, other than that, sunshine with highs around 70 and lows around 50. Since the bars aren’t open, you can’t buy a drink for the guy next to you…but you can always pay ahead by ordering from your favorite restaurant or liquor store and leaving the surprise bottle for the next guy. It could be me!
GRAND LAKE BUM
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Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area? Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.
1909 in Downtown Grove
Ailey’s Café in Langley
Aquabar & Grill at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)
Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley
Balcony Bar at The Shebang (Smoking – open Friday & Saturday nights)
Big Shots on Monkey Island (Open Friday & Saturday nights)
Blind Swine on Monkey Island
Blue Bluff Café at Blue Bluff Harbor
Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)
Café Italia on Monkey Island
Café Yum in Grove
Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)
Ceasar’s Place in Vinita and at Littlefield Corner
Checkered Past in Grove
Chickanella’s in Grove
Chicken Coop West of Langley
Clanton’s Café in Vinita
Coppers Tea & Coffee House in Grove
Cosby’s Catfish on Highway 28 in Eucha (East of Disney)
Doc’s Bar & Grill at Shangri-La Resort Hotel
Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina
Domino’s in Grove
Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)
Drake’s on the Lake at Blue Bluff Harbor
Drake’s Restaurant in Grove
Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina (smoking)
Gabby’s Place in downtown Grove
Goodfella’s Pizza (Cleora and Grove)
Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)
Grand Lake Public House in Grove
Hatfield’s Saloon in Grove
Henrie’s Grill in Grove
High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)
Honey Creek BBQ in Grove (south of Honey Creek bridge)
Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)
Juan Montez Restaurant & Cantina at Red Arrow Marina
La Casita de Martin in downtown Grove
Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum
Los Garcias in Langley
Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove
Matt’s Place in Grove
Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)
Monkey’s Uncle at Littlefield Corner (Breakfast & lunch)
Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)
Morrow’s Bar & Grill at Morrow’s Landing
Mulligan’s at Patricia Island Golf Club in Grove
Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove
Pappy’s Bar on Hwy 10 east of Grove
Pickles at the Lake in Langley
Pit Stop Café in Grove
Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)
Raggedy’s in Grove
Rancho Viejo in Grove
Riggs & Company in Langley
River Bend Casino in Wyandotte (smoking)
Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)
Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)
Scooters in Langley (smoking)
Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)
Sticky Fingers Barbecue in Ketchum
Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)
The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice
The Landings Marina (smoking on the deck)
The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)
The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)
The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)
The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)
Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)
VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)
Water Side Bar & Grill in Grove
Waterway Café, Harbors View Marina (smoking on breakwater dining deck)
Wolf Creek Diner in Grove
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