April Fool's Weekend in Review by The Grand Lake Bum

This week, Grand Lake pays tribute to the first successful business on Grand Lake. Saturday night at Cherokee Yacht Club, the South Grand Lake Area Chamber of Commerce will honor those entrepreneurs who leaped to success more than 75 years ago during construction of the Pensacola Dam. I’ll see you Saturday night to honor that great entrepreneurship at the Bootleggers’ Ball!

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I’m not a big carry-a-gun guy – and I’m still not even sure about “stand your ground” laws, but c’mon guys. In Spring, Texas, two masked men broke into a woman’s home, attempting to kidnap her. Fortunately, her fiancé, Jeremiah Morin chased them off by shooting at them. County deputies arrived on the scene quickly. Unfortunately, the kidnappers got away while deputies were arresting Morin for “shooting recklessly” while aiming at the kidnappers.

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Reports out of Colorado say the legal pot business is “ruining the restaurant business.” Nope, it’s not what you think. It’s that the people who used to take those minimum wage jobs as line cooks and dishwashers are now pulling down $22 an hour working in hothouses and dispensaries. I guess good things are always good for everyone, huh?

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You may have noticed no one did any extravagant April Fools tricks around the lake this year. That’s because no made-up prank can match the unbelievable stuff that is happening in the real world right now.

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That said, my pal Josh Davis shared some great insight about the internet and April Fools’ Day with me this week: “Ah, 1^st April. The only day of the year that people critically evaluate things they find on the internet before accepting them as true.”

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Hey, United Airlines flyers, your tickets are worth something, even if you’ve already used them.  The activewear company Puma is offering a 20 percent discount on leggings for any customer who can produce a United Airlines ticket – used or not. The genius marketing strategy follows United’s dumbass PR flub when they banned two girls in Denver from boarding an airplane wearing leggings until they covered up the critical parts with a dress “or something.” United said officially that the girls were traveling on airline employee passes which prohibit “form-fitting clothing.” Nobody seems to have been able to find out why.

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If you’re looking for a good business and you don’t mind driving to California and dodging the authorities, you could join the thousands who are going into the black market cigarette business there.  A new tax $2 per pack cigarette tax went into effectSaturday. The average pack of cigarettes in California is now $8.00. If you don’t want to drive that much, you can just wait a few weeks. The same thing might happen in Oklahoma. Then we’ll all buy black market cigarettes for much less, and the state won’t get anything.

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Thursday is the 100^th Anniversary of the United States’ Declaration of War against Germany which cranked up World War I. It’s been a hundred years, and we have a President who still won’t shake hands with the German Chancellor. Now, that’s a grudge!

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Before you speak, remember your own words can come back to haunt you. For example, when fired National Security Advisor General Michael Flynn asked for immunity last week in exchange for testimony before Congressional committees, I’m pretty sure he wishes he had never said, “When you are granted immunity, you probably have committed a crime.”

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Rhode Island is now posting highway traffic signs that we should consider adopting in Oklahoma as the tourist season comes up on us. Perhaps we haven’t been communicating clearly to our interstate highway drivers. The Rhode Island signs are right to the point: “If there is someone behind you and no one in front of you, get out of this lane.”

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Either students at OU, TU, and UCO need to get with it – of the writers & researchers at delish.com need more education. Their official list of the “51 Best College Bars in America” is out. Eskimo Joe’s in Stillwater is the only Oklahoma bar that made the list. Sideways in Fayetteville and The Wagon Wheel in Lawrence are on the list; so if you don’t like OSU, maybe you kids should take a closer look at Arkansas and Kansas. Stay thirsty, my friend.

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DINING & DRINKING ON GRAND UPDATE: Roadhouse 125 on Monkey Island is now scheduled to open to the general public for lunch and dinner on Thursday, April 13.

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BEST SIGN SEEN THIS WEEK: Septic tanks pumped. Swimming pools filled. Not the same truck.

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BEST FACEBOOK POST THIS WEEK: When a man says he’d do anything for a woman, he means stop bullets and kill dragons, not clean the basement and wash dishes.

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GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: Happy Birthday wishes go out this week to Brian Edwards, Stormy Ware, Steve Oden, Steven Slepka, Dana Chouteau, Tiera Henry, Donnie Smith, Pat Sheeler, Devon Miller, Peggy Howard, William Durick, and Jerry Cookson. A shout-out also to Jay Crank, new Executive Director of the Grand Lake Association.

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LEGAL TIP OF THE WEEK (Courtesy of KRQE-TV in Albuquerque: If you have to drive to the courthouse to pick up an ankle bracelet following your conviction, it’s probably not a good idea to drive there in the SUV you just stole. You can’t fix stupid.

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UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK:  How can someone draw a blank?

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BEST EVENTS OF THE WEEK: The annual South Grand Lake Area Chamber of Commerce’s Bootleggers Ball is Saturdaynight at Cherokee Yacht Club. Also, let’s get the season started! The Shangri-La Women’s Golf Association kicks off their 2017 season with their traditional Spring Brunch Saturday morning at 10:30.

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GRAND LAKE WEEKEND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT: There are plenty of entertainment options around the lake this weekend, including Randy Lunsford performing through the weekend in the Burlesque Room and Clint Walker in the Back Stage Room at The Shebang on Monkey Island Friday & Saturday nights, and the Balcony Bar will also be open upstairs at The Shebang with Karaoke (if it’s above 60 degrees). Across the street at Big Shots Rhythm & Booze, enjoy all the best dance tunes Friday and Saturday nights. Friday night is Karaoke Night at Monkey Island Pub – and Lickitty Split will provide the live music Saturday night at Road Hog Saloon.

On South Grand Lake, Jim Sweney will be on stage Saturday night at Pickles at the Lake north of Langley.

Area casinos have excellent musical options this weekend, as well. At River Bend Casino (formerly Wyandotte), Club 60 West will feature music from Oreo Blue Friday night. Saturday, it’s another big UFC 210 Watch Party featuring Cormier vs. Johnson 2.   NighTTrain will perform atop the 1897 Bar at Cherokee Casino Grove’s 1897 Bar Friday night followed by FM LiveSaturday night. At Buffalo Run Casino’s Trailer Park Bar & Grill, Ringos’ of Soul will be on stage both Friday & Saturdaynights. At Indigo Sky Casino, there is live entertainment in the Echo Bar starting Thursday night with music by Stowaway Gypsy.Friday night, Stonehorse will entertain, followed by The Rumor Saturday night.

The best spots to catch all your favorite sports action, including NBA action, NASCAR, and PGA Golf are the Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La, Monkey Island Pub, the Standing Room Only Bar at The Shebang, Road Hog Saloon, and Pickles at the Lake in Langley.

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BUM MUST-SEE TV: Thursday night at 9:00 on NBC is the season finale of The Blacklist Redemption. The Son is a great movie airing Saturday night at 8:00 on AMC. Saturday Night Live, 10:30 Saturday night on NBC. Brooklyn Nine-Nine returnsTuesday night, April 11 at 7:00 on Fox; and Deadliest Catch also kicks off a new season next Tuesday night at 8:00 on Discovery.

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BUM MUST-SEE MOVIE: The Boss

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “As Democracy is perfected, the office of President represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.” – H.L. Mencken, 1920

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SAVE THE DATE: Sunday, April 16 – Easter Sunday Buffet at Shangri-La’s Summit Restaurant. Saturday, April 29 – fundraising concert & dance featuring The Old Bulldog Band at Big Shots ($30 tickets on sale now – proceeds to the Monkey Island Golf Cart & Pedestrian Trail). Friday, May 5 – GRDA Lake Launch 2017 – “Grand Fiesta!” at Ecosystems Center in Langley (6:00-9:00). Friday, May 5 – Eddy’s Lakeside Bar opens at Shangri-La Marina. Friday-Sunday, May 5-7 – In-water boat shows at Shangri-La Marina and MarineMax at Harbors View Marina. Saturday, May 6 – Burning of the Socks at Harbors View Marina. Monday, May 15 – Official Pool Opening at Monkey Island RV Park.

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The focus of the sports world this week is on the biggest week of the year for professional golf. It’s time for The Masters! Coverage begins on Thursday afternoon with the Par 3 Tournament at 2:00 on ESPN. Tournament coverage begins at 2:00Thursday & Friday on ESPN, at 2:00 Saturday on CBS, and at 1:00 Sunday on CBS.

With college basketball in our rear view mirror, the roundball focus is on the NBA and the upcoming playoffs (for which the OKC Thunder have qualified, by the way). Thursday night’s double-header on TNT features Boston at Atlanta early (7:00) and Minnesota at Portland late (9:30). Friday night, the OKC Thunder is at Phoenix taking on the Suns in a 9:00 p.m. game on NBA-TV and Fox Sports Oklahoma. Saturday night’s spotlight game is the L.A. Clippers at San Antonio (7:30 on ABC). Sunday afternoon at 4:00, the OKC Thunder is at Denver (Fox Sports Oklahoma). Monday night is another TNT double-header with Washington at Detroit early (7:00) and Houston at the L.A. Clippers at 9:30. The OKC Thunder is in action again Tuesdaynight at Minnesota (7:00 on NBA-TV and Fox Sports Oklahoma).

NASCAR drivers are running in Fort Worth this week at Texas Motor Speedway. Coverage of the O’Reilly Auto Parts 500 begins at 12:30 Sunday afternoon on Fox.

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The weather for the weekend ahead looks very nice for those of us who love outdoor activities. We’ll have sunshine for the most part, with highs Thursday & Friday in the mid-60s, jumping to the upper 70s Saturday & Sunday. It might be a little breezySaturday & Sunday, but not bad. Springtime is here – so let’s get the party started! Remember, though, wherever you decide to play, be sure to buy a drink for the guy next to you.  It could be me. 

GRAND LAKE BUM

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Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area?  Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.

1909 in Downtown Grove

American Grill in Grove

Aquabar & Grill at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)

Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley

Balcony Bar at The Shebang (Smoking – open Friday & Saturday nights)

Big Shots on Monkey Island (smoking upstairs—open Friday & Saturday nights)

Bobbers Café in Langley

Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patios)

Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)

Café Italia on Monkey Island

Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)

Ceasar’s Place in Vinita and on Monkey Island

Chickanella’s in Grove

Chicken Coop West of Langley

Clanton’s Café in Vinita

Coffee Shelter in Ketchum

Cosby’s Catfish on Highway 28 in Eucha (East of Disney)

Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina

Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)

Drake’s Restaurant in Grove

Frosty & Edna’s (west of the dam in Langley)

Gabby’s Place in downtown Grove

Goodfella’s Pizza (Cleora and Grove)

Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)

Grand Lodge in Ketchum (smoking)

Hatfield’s Saloon in Grove

High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)

Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)

Juan Montez Restaurant & Cantina at Red Arrow Marina

Karrie's Kaboose in Vinita (smoking)

La Casita de Martin in downtown Grove

Lakeside Bar & Grill in Grove at Sail Boat Bridge

Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum

Los Garcias in Langley

Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove

Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)

Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)

Morrows Bar & Grill in Raper Hollow

Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove

Okie Smokies Barbecue in Grove on Hwy 59 South

Book ‘ems Restaurant & Pub at South Wind Marina in Bernice

Pickles at the Lake in Langley

Pit Stop Café in Grove

Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)

Raggedy’s in Grove

Rancho Viejo in Grove

Riggs & Company in Langley

River Bend Casino in Wyandotte (smoking)

Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)

Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)

Scooters in Langley (smoking)

Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)

Smokin’ Spur BBQ & Trading Post at Old Towne Plaza, Cleora

Sticky Fingers Barbecue in Ketchum

Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)

Summit Restaurant at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)

The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice

The Landings Marina (smoking on the deck)

The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)

The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)

The Office on Monkey Island (smoking)

The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)

The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)

Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)

VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)