August 7th Random Observations From The Grand Lake Bum

I can’t believe the recent “August at Grand Lake” weather. Rains held off to allow for the Run a Monkey Golf Tournament, the Junior PGA Golf competition, and the Boats, Bikes, Bikinis & BBQ event at Arrowhead over the past weekend, but the gals in the bikini contest looked a little chilly. Who’d have thunk it? After a little bout with rain this week, the Grand Lake weekend ahead looks equally wonderful. Enjoy.

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You don’t have to fly your Lear Jet to Nova Scotia to see a total eclipse of the sun – just hang around the Grand Lake Area for the August 21^st event. Scientists say Miami, Oklahoma will be one of the best places to see the upcoming solar event which will occur slightly after 1:00 p.m. August 21. We won’t see a total eclipse from our area…but 93% is still an “A!”

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I saw the first NFL pre-season game on television last week. I didn’t need that, yet. Give me more summer. #notreadyforfall

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I’m sure if we didn’t have a lot of state and federal regulations, someone would undoubtedly use a toaster in the bath tub or put an unacceptable volume of rat excrement in ketchup, but sometimes you just have to laugh at required labeling and signage. I saw a new favorite at the zero level “beach” entrance to the fabulous new pool at Shangri-La Resort. The warning sign alerts swimmers to be cautious because of the depth. The sign reads “0 feet, 0 inches – no diving.” Hmm. Good advice, huh?

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A naked man exposed himself to a woman at a McDonalds Restaurant in Liverpool, England recently. She watched in horror as he made matters worse by injecting drugs into his genitals. McDonalds employees locked him in the restroom and the cops came and hauled him away. A statement from McDonalds said, “this was an isolated incident.” Ya’ think??? I would certainly hope so!

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Oklahoma has made another Top 10 finalist list in a category we hate. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Oklahoma is the 8^th fattest state in the nation, with 40% of our population between the ages of 45-64 falling into the “obese” category – 34% of our total population, including children rated as fatties.  The state with the most fatties was Louisiana. Alabama, Mississippi, and West Virginia were tied, followed by Kentucky, Arkansas, Kansas, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Missouri and Texas. In other words, the usual suspects.

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An Oklahoma City woman apparently thought she was at Grand Lake instead of the Bricktown district. She was riding the water taxi along the Oklahoma River when she apparently got too warm, and jumped out of the water taxi and into the river. She seemed to be having a Dripping Springs-Party Cove-Woodard Hollow type of experience, stopping all the boat traffic as she paddled around. When the cops were called, Flora Stanton took off running, but apparently wasn’t any faster on land than in water. When the cops asked her why she jumped in the water, she said she was “checking water levels.” Makes sense to me, but I guess we’ll never know for sure. All it said on her arrest report was “public drunkenness.” Perhaps she really did think she was at Grand Lake!

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IGNORANT DRESS CODE OF THE WEEK: Now it’s not just students for whom school administrators are enforcing dumbass dress codes. In Douglas County, Georgia, the school superintendent sent an email to teachers returning to class reminding them to dress appropriately. Banned attire includes “jeans (except on Friday), flip-flops, sneakers, leggings (except when worn under appropriate length dresses), shorts and…capri pants.” Seriously? Capri pants? I guess you have to take precautions against showing those sexy ankles! #outofthingstodo

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What the hell is wrong with people? In Lebanon, Tennessee, the police department has sidelined their twelve new Ford Explorer police interceptors because one of their officers said he smelled carbon monoxide. You know…the “odorless, tasteless gas.” C’mon, man.

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Just in case you thought things couldn’t get any stranger, die-hard fans of the Japanese band Kamen Joshi have an unusual treat in store. The Tokyo-based chain of Tenka Torimasu fried chicken restaurants is offering sauce "designed to replicate the 'refreshing' sweat" of the band members. Yikes! Before you totally panic, the sauce is not actual sweat. Instead, the sauce is a mix of salt, lemon juice, and cheese carefully prepared to taste like sweat of one of the female members of the band. My question is – who had to continually taste her actual sweat to make sure the recipe was correct?

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BEST SIGN SEEN THIS WEEK: The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe. EAT CAKE!

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BEST FACEBOOK POST THIS WEEK: I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment and their mustache; and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.

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BEST OBSERVATION OF THE WEEK – The good thing about iced tea is you can drink it at work. The best thing about Jack Daniels is that it looks like tea.

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GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: Happy Birthday wishes go out this week to Mary Stallings, Jeff McDougall, Dennis Boyles, Aracelly (Marina) Jameson, Jamie Perryman, Hershel Lamirand, Kori Quillin, Bill Wolfe, Candi Bullard, and Heather Cole.   

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UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK: Are you breaking the law if you drive past those highway signs that say “do not pass”?

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BEST EVENTS OF THE WEEK: “Woodstock on the Water,” celebrating Grand Lake’s birthday, will be held Saturdayafternoon beginning about noon in Lawhead Hollow (next cove south of Dripping Springs/Grays Hollow). Saturday is also Customer Appreciation Day at Hi-Lift Marina – and the best golfers in the Women’s Oklahoma Golf Association roll up lakeside Monday for their two-day WOGA Partnership Championship Tournament at Shangri-La Golf Club.

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GRAND LAKE WEEKEND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT: There’s great entertainment around the lake this weekend. On Monkey Island, you provide a big part of the entertainment at The Balcony Bar at The Shebang, with Friday and Saturday night karaoke. Downstairs in the Burlesque Room, Randy Lunsford provides the weekend entertainment; and across the street at Big Shots Rhythm & Booze, enjoy all the best dance tunes Friday & Saturday nights with DJ Deeko. Just down the highway from there, Friday night is Karaoke Night at Monkey Island Pub, Lickitty Split will be at Roadhog Saloon Saturday night, and Erin Fitzgibbon performs Sunday nights at Blind Swine, and there’s always great live weekend entertainment at the Road Hog Saloon.

On South Grand Lake, Friday night is a big Jam Session at Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina. Saturday night, Sharky’s will spotlight the music of Rockfish. Saturday afternoon is the big birthday party for Grand Lake in Lawhead Hollow. It’s Woodstock on the Water featuring the Barrett Lewis Band and the Wanda Watson Band playing from the deck of Leon Russell’s old home.

Area casinos have excellent musical options this weekend, as well. Cherokee Casino in Grove has a really big weekend of entertainment beginning with Brent Giddons as Elvis Thursday night at 8:00. Friday spotlights Summer Nights at 4:30 and music from Thomas Martinez at 9:00. Saturday night, enjoy the music of nighTTrain at Cherokee. Downstream Casino’s Legends Sports Bar has two nights of live music. The Tribute Kings will be on stage Friday night, followed by Asphalt Cowboys Saturday night. Grand Lake Casino will spotlight the Jason Young Band Saturday night. Buffalo Run Casino’s Trailer Park Bar & Grill will host Katy Gillian & The Girls both Friday and Saturday nights.  At River Bend Casino in Wyandotte, Club 60 West spotlights The Eddie Valen Band Friday night. At Indigo Sky Casino, there is live entertainment in the Echo Bar starting Thursday night with music by Three Dollar Rocket. Friday night features the music of Southern Green followed by Hi-Fidelics Saturday night. Another Alibi will be on stage at Lost Creek Saloon at Bordertown Casino Friday night, with Cedar Creek wrapping up the weekend entertainment Saturday night.

The best spots to catch all your favorite sports action, including NASCAR and PGA Golf are Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina, Doc’s Bar & Grill at Shangri-La Resort Hotel, Monkey Island Pub, the Standing Room Only Bar at The Shebang, Road Hog Saloon, 1909 in Grove, and Pickles at the Lake in Langley.

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BUM MUST-SEE TV: The SNL spinoff Saturday Night Live: Weekend Update debuts Thursday night at 8:on NBC; and The Teen Choice 2017 Awards  are on NBC Saturday night at 7:00 if you’re curious about what the young ‘uns are about. Brad Paisley’s Comedy Rodeo is available Tuesday night on NETFLIX and The Country Music Association Fest 2017 is next Wednesday night at 7:00 on ABC.

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BUM MUST-SEE MOVIES: The Glass Castle and Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “Vladimir Putin just changed his Facebook relationship status with 45 to ‘It’s complicated’.” – Jimmy Kimmel

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SAVE THE DATE: Friday, August 18 – Mary Moore Charity Golf Tournament & Silent Auction at Shangri-La Golf Club.Friday-Sunday, August 18-20 – Thunder on Wolf Creek (boat races). Saturday, August 19 – Cars for Critters car show at Grove Civic Center (11-3) and Barkarita party with food and a live band 6-10 at Honey Creek Landing (both are fundraising events for Second Chance Pet Rescue). Saturday, August 19 – Roaring 20’s Costume Party at Monkey Island Pub.  Monday, August 21 – Total eclipse of the sun (1:00 p.m.ish). Wednesday, August 23 – USGA Men’s and Women’s Mid-Am Qualifier at Shangri-La Golf Club. Friday, August 25 – Fight Night in Downtown Miami (free outdoor professional boxing exhibition to be televised nationally on Fox Sports 1). Friday, August 25 – Grand Lake Casino Charity Golf & Blackjack Tournament. Sunday, August 27 – Gospel & Giggles with Terry Jordan and Willamae (6:00 p.m.) at St. Andrews Episcopal Church in Grove. Sunday-Wednesday, August 27-29 – Shangri-La Couples Invitational Golf Tournament. Sunday, September 3 – Monkey Island Fireworks at Grand Lake Regional Airport. Saturday, September 30 – Hook ‘N’ Cookoff, South Grand Lake Regional Airport.

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The PGA Tour features on of the biggest events of the year this weekend – the PGA Championship from Charlotte, North Carolina. Coverage begins on TNT Thursday & Friday at noon, and at 10:00 a.m. Saturday & Sunday. CBS picks up coverage of the final two rounds Saturday & Sunday at 1:00.

On the NASCAR circuit, the boys are headed for Michigan this weekend. Coverage of the Pure Michigan 400 begins at 2:00Sunday afternoon on NBCSN.

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The weather forecast for the weekend looks pretty darn nice. We might have a thunderstorm or two scattered around, but for the most part it will be mostly sunny with highs in the mid-80s with light breezes. It should be a great weekend for outdoor activities – and there are plenty around! Enjoy all the fun stuff Grand Lake has to offer, but remember, be sure to buy a drink for the guy next to you.  It could be me. 

GRAND LAKE BUM

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Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area?  Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.

1909 in Downtown Grove

American Grill in Grove

Aquabar & Grill at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)

Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley

Balcony Bar at The Shebang (Smoking – open Friday & Saturday nights)

Big Shots on Monkey Island (smoking upstairs—open Friday & Saturday nights)

Blind Swine on Monkey Island

Bobbers Café in Langley

Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)

Café Italia on Monkey Island

Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)

Ceasar’s Place in Vinita and on Monkey Island

Chickanella’s in Grove

Chicken Coop West of Langley

Clanton’s Café in Vinita

Coffee Shelter in Ketchum

Cosby’s Catfish on Highway 28 in Eucha (East of Disney)

Doc’s Bar & Grill at Shangri-La Resort Hotel

Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina

Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)

Drake’s on the Lake at Blue Bluff Harbor

Drake’s Restaurant in Grove

Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina

Frosty & Edna’s (west of the dam in Langley)

Gabby’s Place in downtown Grove

Goodfella’s Pizza (Cleora and Grove)

Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)

Grand Lodge in Ketchum (smoking)

Hatfield’s Saloon in Grove

High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)

Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)

Juan Montez Restaurant & Cantina at Red Arrow Marina

Karrie's Kaboose in Langley (smoking)

La Casita de Martin in downtown Grove

Lakeside Bar & Grill in Grove at Sail Boat Bridge

Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum

Los Garcias in Langley

Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove

Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)

Monkey’s Uncle at Littlefield Corner (Breakfast & lunch)

Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)

Morrows Bar & Grill in Raper Hollow

Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove

Okie Smokies Barbecue in Grove on Hwy 59 South

Pickles at the Lake in Langley

Pit Stop Café in Grove

Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)

Raggedy’s in Grove

Rancho Viejo in Grove

Riggs & Company in Langley

River Bend Casino in Wyandotte (smoking)

Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)

Roadhouse 125 on Monkey Island (smoking deck)

Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)

Scooters in Langley (smoking)

Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)

Smokin’ Spur BBQ & Trading Post at Old Towne Plaza, Cleora

Sticky Fingers Barbecue in Ketchum

Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)

The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice

The Landings Marina (smoking on the deck)

The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)

The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)

The Office on Monkey Island (smoking)

The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)

The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)

Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)

VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)

Water Side Bar & Grill in Grove

Waterway Café, Harbors View Marina (smoking on breakwater dining deck)

Wolf Creek Diner in Grove