Busy Grand Lake Weekend in Review by The Grand Lake Bum

I made a couple of stops Saturday night that made me think my calendar was messed up. It looked like Halloween everywhere I went. First stop was the South Grand Lake Chamber’s Bootleggers’ Ball at Cherokee Yacht Club. What great outfits. Overalls to fabulous flapper duds, complete with casino games, an auction and great music. Then, I zipped back to Monkey Island Pub for a couple of drinks, only to find out it was “Rockabilly Night.” There were some pretty fancy outfits, but a few that made me think back to my days growing up with music loving farm hands in Northwest Oklahoma. Nonetheless….fun night all the way around. Even got in a little karaoke at the Balcony Bar at The Shebang, thanks to Mother Nature.

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Economic development and jobs programs are a big push everywhere – even Grand Lake. But what was Oklahoma Corrections Director Joe Allbaugh doing on Monkey Island for four days? I know prison jobs pay okay – and I know we could probably fill one up if everyone knew what we all did all the time; but come on Mr. Allbaugh – you’re just here to play, right? Hopefully you weren’t here looking for tenants!

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It’s Easter weekend – that one day of the year when we perpetuate the myth that rabbits lay eggs. I never have figured out why we don’t have an Easter Chicken instead of an Easter Bunny. Maybe it’s because none of those cute little yellow Easter Chicks ever live to adulthood.

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Speaking Easter Chicks, Mariel Barreras in Omaha had an innovative idea. She started the Easter Rent-a-Chick program. Parents can rent a couple of cute little chicks to give their kids for Easter. Two weeks later, when the cute chicks begin to become ugly chickens and the kids are tired of them, renters return the chicks to Barerras’ farm where they grow up to be useful, albeit ugly, egg-laying chickens.

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In China, artificial intelligence expert Zheng Jiajia builds robots. When he became frustrated at not being able to connect with a suitable woman, he built one. Yep. He married the “female” robot last week. Seems kind of weird to me, but I guess there’s something to be said about the ability to reprogram her if she gets on his nerves.

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In Illinois, 18-year-old Lucas Dietrich is due in court next week on animal cruelty charges. Cops arrested him after seeing his internet video of him punching a 13-year-old miniature donkey in the face. The donkey was not hurt, but Lucas was hauled off to jail. I guess this would be headlined, “Dumbass Arrested for Hitting Dumb Ass.”

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Saturday Night Live News Update reported this week that Yahoo and AOL are joining forces….because no one wants to die alone.

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Sometimes, you just have to know when to stop. Fox News star Bill O’Reilly has now paid $13 million to five women to settle sexual harassment charges. Five women! That means, every time he hits on a woman, it costs him $2.5 million! I think he should consider celibacy. I think women just seriously don’t like him!!

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Just when you thought you had heard everything, there’s this. 45-year-old Janice Smith was arrested in Detroit for capturing wild squirrels and training them to attack her former lover. 51-year-old James Robinson says he was attacked by the rogue rodents more than a dozen times over the last month, resulting in the loss of two fingers and a testicle which were bitten off. Janice was charged with “using animals as weapons.” I’ve never heard of such a charge. On the other hand, I’ve never heard of training squirrels to do anything other than run around on the inside of a little wire ferris wheel. Live & learn.

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DINING & DRINKING ON GRAND UPDATE: Roadhouse 125 on Monkey Island opens this week for lunch and dinner. Enjoy.

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MEN’S OFFICIAL CODE  (courtesy of my pal Wayne Smith): Funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems like it’s impossible, but 8 beers and 7 shots in 2 hours go down like a fat kid on a see-saw.

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BEST HEADLINE SEEN THIS WEEK (in Good Living Guide): Dogs Can’t Operate MRI Machines – But Catscan

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BEST FACEBOOK POST THIS WEEK: I could be a morning person…if morning started around noon.

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LEGAL TIP OF THE WEEK (from Josh Davis): If you’re going to lie to the cops about your name, it’s probably not a good idea to give them the name of someone with multiple felony warrants.

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GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: Happy Birthday wishes go out this week to Tripp Markwell, Jack Moore, Doug Frans, Debbie Littlefield, Tim Howson, Dave Svedman, Liz Paden, Jason Faulconer, Jeff Spielmann, Ron Lay, Steve Long, Linda Fieth, Vicki Howard, Tanner Langley, Bobby Brewer, and Don Bullard.  Congrats, also, to Joe Harwood for a really nice John Klein column about him in the Tulsa World last week.

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LEGAL TIP OF THE WEEK (Courtesy of KRQE-TV in Albuquerque: If you have to drive to the courthouse to pick up an ankle bracelet following your conviction, it’s probably not a good idea to drive there in the SUV you just stole. You can’t fix stupid.

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UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK:  How can someone draw a blank?

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BEST EVENTS OF THE WEEK: It’s Easter Week!  The Summit Restaurant at Shangri-La will feature a fabulous EasterSunday Brunch Buffet Sunday, 10:00-3:00. The 2017 “Back to the Basic” golf clinics start at Shangri-La this week, as well, with two “Short Game” sessions this week – Friday & Saturday at 5:00. The Men’s Golf Association also kicks off the 2017 season with their Spring Scramble Saturday. If you’re looking for a job, Shangri-La Resort will host a Job Fair upstairs at the club houseMonday night, April 17, from 6:00-8:00 p.m.

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GRAND LAKE WEEKEND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT: There are plenty of entertainment options around the lake this weekend, including Randy Lunsford performing through the weekend in the Burlesque Room and Clint Walker in the Back Stage Room at The Shebang on Monkey Island Friday & Saturday nights, and the Balcony Bar will also be open upstairs at The Shebang with Karaoke (if it’s above 60 degrees). Across the street at Big Shots Rhythm & Booze, enjoy all the best dance tunes Friday and Saturday nights. Friday night is Karaoke Night at Monkey Island Pub.

Area casinos have excellent musical options this weekend, as well. At River Bend Casino (formerly Wyandotte Casino), Club 60 West will feature music from The Cate Brothers Friday night. Saturday’s entertainment is Poison Overdose – the ultimate tribute to Poison. It’s “Throwback Thursday” at Downstream Casino’s Legends Sports Bar with a free concert featuring Hankerin’ for Hank. Friday night features Retrorockerz with The Ricky G Band taking over Saturday night.  Travis Kidd will perform atop the 1897 Bar at Cherokee Casino Grove’s 1897 Bar Friday night followed by The Bobby D Band Saturday night. At Buffalo Run Casino’s Trailer Park Bar & Grill, Dewayne Bowman will be on stage both Friday & Saturday nights. At Indigo Sky Casino, there is live entertainment in the Echo Bar starting Thursday night with music by September’s End. Friday night, The George Brothers will entertain, followed by Diversity Saturday night.

The best spots to catch all your favorite sports action, including NBA playoff action, NASCAR, and PGA Golf are the Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La, Monkey Island Pub, the Standing Room Only Bar at The Shebang, Road Hog Saloon, 1909 in Grove, and Pickles at the Lake in Langley.

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BUM MUST-SEE TV: The Mick, 7:30 Tuesday on Fox. The new season of Chelsea Handler is available Friday on NetFlix; and the season premiere of Veep is Sunday night at 9:30 on HBO.

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BUM MUST-SEE MOVIES: The Jungle Book and Barber Shop

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “If Facebook wasn’t around to give you a forum to argue political crap, would you still care about Syria today, or would you be watching “Andy Griffith” reruns?” – Jimmie Tramel

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SAVE THE DATE: Saturday, April 22 – Job Fair at Shangri-La Club House (upstairs) from 10:00 a.m. until noon. Saturday, April 29 – fundraising concert & dance featuring The Old Bulldog Band at Big Shots ($30 tickets on sale now – proceeds to the Monkey Island Golf Cart & Pedestrian Trail). Friday, May 5 – GRDA Lake Launch 2017 – “Grand Fiesta!” at Ecosystems Center in Langley (6:00-9:00). Friday, May 5 – Eddy’s Lakeside Bar opens at Shangri-La Marina. Friday-Sunday, May 5-7 – In-water boat shows at Shangri-La Marina, MarineMax at Harbors View Marina, Grand Lake Boat Sales at Hi-Lift Marina, and Ugly John’s at Thunder Bay. Saturday, May 6 – Burning of the Socks at Harbors View Marina. Monday, May 15 – Official Pool Opening at Monkey Island RV Park. Friday, May 19 – Quarterdeck Waterfront Café at Tera Miranda opens for the season.

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It’s all about NBA Basketball in the sports world. It’s playoff time. First round games get underway this weekend. ABC hosts the first game at 2:00 Saturday. Sunday is a full schedule with a 2:00 game on ABC and a full TNT schedule with games at 4:30,7:00 and 9:30 p.m. The OKC Thunder will play the Houston Rockets in the first round starting Saturday or Sunday. Spurs will face the Grizzlies while the Jazz take on the Clippers; but the rest of the schedule & opponents won’t be set until the regular season officially ends Wednesday night. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday night games are all on NBA-TV and/or TNT.

Golfers are focused on Hilton Head, South Carolina and the RBC Heritage. Coverage begins at 2:00 Thursday & Friday, and12:00 Saturday & Sunday on the Golf Channel. CBS picks up coverage of the final two rounds Saturday & Sunday at 2:00.

NASCAR drivers are taking the weekend off this week in anticipation of big racing at Bristol next weekend (The Food City 500).

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We have great weekend weather ahead for Easter weekend with partly cloudy skies, and high temperatures pressing towards 80 degrees until the thunderstorm possibility moves in Sunday night. Thankfully, the wind will also be blowing at about half the speed of the weekend gone by. Springtime is here – so let’s have some fun! Remember, though, wherever you decide to play, be sure to buy a drink for the guy next to you.  It could be me. 

GRAND LAKE BUM

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Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area?  Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.

1909 in Downtown Grove

American Grill in Grove

Aquabar & Grill at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)

Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley

Balcony Bar at The Shebang (Smoking – open Friday & Saturday nights)

Big Shots on Monkey Island (smoking upstairs—open Friday & Saturday nights)

Bobbers Café in Langley

Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patios)

Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)

Café Italia on Monkey Island

Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)

Ceasar’s Place in Vinita and on Monkey Island

Chickanella’s in Grove

Chicken Coop West of Langley

Clanton’s Café in Vinita

Coffee Shelter in Ketchum

Cosby’s Catfish on Highway 28 in Eucha (East of Disney)

Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina

Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)

Drake’s Restaurant in Grove

Frosty & Edna’s (west of the dam in Langley)

Gabby’s Place in downtown Grove

Goodfella’s Pizza (Cleora and Grove)

Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)

Grand Lodge in Ketchum (smoking)

Hatfield’s Saloon in Grove

High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)

Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)

Juan Montez Restaurant & Cantina at Red Arrow Marina

Karrie's Kaboose in Langley (smoking)

La Casita de Martin in downtown Grove

Lakeside Bar & Grill in Grove at Sail Boat Bridge

Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum

Los Garcias in Langley

Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove

Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)

Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)

Morrows Bar & Grill in Raper Hollow

Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove

Okie Smokies Barbecue in Grove on Hwy 59 South

Pickles at the Lake in Langley

Pit Stop Café in Grove

Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)

Raggedy’s in Grove

Rancho Viejo in Grove

Riggs & Company in Langley

River Bend Casino in Wyandotte (smoking)

Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)

Roadhouse 125 on Monkey Island (smoking deck)

Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)

Scooters in Langley (smoking)

Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)

Smokin’ Spur BBQ & Trading Post at Old Towne Plaza, Cleora

Sticky Fingers Barbecue in Ketchum

Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)

Summit Restaurant at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)

The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice

The Landings Marina (smoking on the deck)

The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)

The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)

The Office on Monkey Island (smoking)

The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)

The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)

Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)

VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)

Water Side Bar & Grill in Grove

Waterway Café, Harbors View Marina (smoking on breakwater dining deck)

Wolf Creek Diner in Grove