Grand Lake Past Weekend Season-Opener in Review

Random Observations from the Grand Lake Bum

We couldn’t have asked for better weather for two gigantic season-openers on Grand Lake – the “Welcome Back Weekend Poker Run” and the Bassmaster Classic. Predictions from cynics about the likelihood of a conflict between the two events turned out to be totally false. I couldn’t believe how many people thought 46,500 surface acres of water wouldn’t be enough space for a couple of hundred boats. Good grief, people.  We spend half our time trying to persuade people to come to Grand Lake, and spend the other half worrying that they’ll actually come, and run into somebody else we invited! Everything worked out great, of course.  We knew it would. The breeze popped up to a major “full skirt alert” level on Sunday – but Saturdaycould not have been more perfect!  What a great weekend for everyone.  Congratulations to everybody who participated in both of the big events.

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I got the biggest kick out of the people who complained that the Welcome Back Poker Run would be a hazard to the fishermen.  I’m guessing those who were so worried have never seen the Welcome Back Poker Run.  They envisioned speeding boats dashing willy nilly from one end of the lake to the other.  We had that, all right, but the speeding boats were the pros fishing the Bassmaster Classic.  The laid back lakers in the poker run barely got above an idle.  They rarely do because they might spill their cocktails. Everybody had a blast and the 2016 season is off to a terrific start on Grand Lake.  Let’s play!

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This weekend brings another couple of big reasons for a big party – Spring Break begins this weekend and Sunday is the first day of Daylight Saving Time.  If you’re headed out to party Saturday night, don’t make early plans on Sunday. When they kick you out of the bar at 2:00 Sunday morning, it will really be 3:00 Sunday morning.  Pace yourself.

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More proof that you can’t fix stupid.  In Alabama, Alex Smith stopped a cop at 3:00 in the morning, asking for a courtesy ride to Wal-Mart.  The deputy agreed, but said (as is required by policy before allowing civilians in police cars) he would have to search Mr. Smith.  For some reason, Smith agreed to the search.  I guess he thought the cop wouldn’t find his marijuana, meth, black tar heroin, two syringes, a meth pipe, two marijuana pipes, and a drug cooking spoon – but he was wrong.  He did get a ride in the cop car, but he never made it to Wal-Mart.

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Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen is well known as a yachtsman – and he is well known as a philanthropist, donating loads of money to conservation projects like reef restoration.  He might want to double up a little on his donations for reef restoration because, although Mr. Allen was not aboard, his 300-foot yacht dropped anchor in the Caribbean, crushing 14,000 square feet – about 80 percent – of the Cayman Island’s precious West Bay Coral Reef. Oops.

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I found some fantastic news for men. A Norwegian study indicates the key to a long, happy marriage is a “traditional” relationship where the woman does virtually all of the household chores.  The researchers found that marriages where the men and women shared equally in the household responsibilities were 50 percent more likely to end in divorce.  I’m not exactly sure why that is.  The researchers didn’t indicate whether or not the reason was the fact that men who do less work are less likely to be jerks, but I suspect that might be it.

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There’s a big political debate this week, and I don’t mean the Presidential race.  The one I’ll be watching is the debate at the town meeting in Embden, Maine. Complaining that the city spends too much money on replacing repeatedly stolen street signs, officials are asking residents to agree to change the name of a street – Katie Crotch Road. Four years ago, voters refused to change the name, maybe they’ll refuse the idea again.  I hope so. Changing the name would also take all the fun out of those “Slippery when wet” signs.

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As everybody knows, there is no shortage of goofy laws or laws that make you take a second look, and maybe a third or fourth look.  The one that caught me in a double-take this week comes from Tennessee. I had to read the subtitle in the law twice, but I was right about what it said: “Bitches to be confined while proud.”  Don’t get goofy, it’s the Animal Confinement Law.  What did you think?

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LEGAL TIP OF THE WEEK (from Josh Davis): “It's probably not a good idea to tell the cop that the reason you drunkenly drove into someone's house is because you swerved to miss a tree when the tree was actually the air freshener hanging from your rear view mirror.”

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GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: I can’t believe last week’s birthday of my ol’ buddy Harrell Pickens slipped past me. I hope Chef Harrell had a great week! Happy Birthday wishes go out this week to Tiffany Holbrook, Sanders Mitchell, Beverly Jones, Myles Davidson, Dan Dillingham, Larry Battaglia, Kristy Gibbs, and Janie Gibbs. Congratulations, too, to Jim and Paula Harbuck, who pulled four kings to win the “Welcome Back Weekend Poker Run.”

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UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK:  When they invented the first clock, how did they know what time to set it to?

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BEST EVENTS OF THE WEEK: Wednesday night, March 9, Ray and Peggy Stowers are featured “Guest Chefs” at The Shebang – cookin’ up some barbecue goodies. The Grand Lake Boat Show at the Grove Civic Center is this weekend –Friday through Sunday.  Saturday night is also the big St. Patrick’s Day costume party at Monkey Island Pub – and Sunday is the first day of Daylight Saving Time!  Set your clock forward an hour Saturday night.

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GRAND LAKE WEEKEND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT: There’s plenty of live entertainment around the lake this weekend. On Monkey Island, Randy Lunsford entertains Thursday-Sunday evenings at The Shebang. At the Road Hog Saloon,Lickitty Split will be on stage Saturday night, and at the Monkey Island Pub, Friday night is karaoke night, and Saturday night is the big St. Patrick’s Day Party – complete with bagpipers!

If you’re in the Grove area, Randy Lunsford also entertains Tuesday and Wednesday from evenings at Gabby’s in downtown Grove; and the Back Roads Band will be on stage both Friday and Saturday nights at J.R. Spanky’s (Highway 10 Northeast of Grove).

Area casinos have great options this weekend, too. At Buffalo Run Casino’s Trailer Park Bar & Grill, Bo Phillips will be on stage both Friday & Saturday nights. At Downstream Casino’s Legends Sports Bar The Brandon Butler Band will performFriday night.  Saturday night, country recording artist Milton Patton takes over the Legends stage. Lover’s Leap Lounge will feature the softer sounds of Kenny Babb both Friday & Saturday nights. At Bordertown Casino’s Lost Creek Saloon, The Boston Mountain Playboys will provide the musical entertainment Friday night, followed by The George Brothers with Leslie Wright Saturday night.  At Indigo Sky Casino, there is live entertainment in the Echo Bar beginning with the DeWayne Bowman Thursday night, followed by Big Smitty Friday night and Diversity Saturday. The Hi-Fidelics will provide Fridaynight entertainment at Wyandotte Casino’s Club 60. If comedy is your thing, it’s a great weekend at Loony Saloon at The Stables Casino.  Kris Shaw will be on stage Friday & Saturday with special guest Kristin Linder.

The best spots to catch NCAA Basketball, NBA games, NASCAR and PGA action are the Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La, Monkey Island Pub, the Standing Room Only Bar at The Shebang, Road Hog Saloon, Pickles at the Lake in Langley, Hookers at Cherokee Yacht Club and J.R. Spanky’s northeast of Grove.

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BUM MUST-SEE TV: And Then There Were None, a two-night presentation of an adaptation of the Agatha Christie novel, starts Sunday night at 8:00 on Lifetime.  

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BUM MUST-SEE MOVIES: The Brothers Grimbsby, 10 Cloverfield Lane

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “Bernie Sanders is surfing on a sea of money.  His campaign has more money than any of them. It’s kinda confusing that he’s the socialist.” – Rachel Maddow

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SAVE THE DATE: Thursday, March 17 – St. Patrick’s Day Day-Long Party at the Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La. Thursday, March 17 – St. Patrick’s Day Party at J.R. Spanky’s. Friday-Sunday, March 18-20 – Big Meat Run rock crawling event at Disney. Saturday, March 19 – First day of spring. Sunday, March 27 – Easter Sunday Brunch at the Summit Restaurant at Shangri-La. Saturday, April 2 – Grand Dam Run at the Pensacola Dam. Saturday, April 2 – South Grand Lake Chamber’s Bootleggers’ Ball at Cherokee Yacht Club. Saturday, April 23 – GEFFE Gala at the Grove Civic Center.

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It’s a fun week in the sports world.  The Big 12 Basketball Tournament is this week.  It starts Wednesday night with K-State/OSU (6:00) and Texas Tech/TCU (8:00), both on ESPNU.  Thursday action includes games at 11:30 and 1:30 on ESPN2, and 6:00 and 8:00 on ESPNU. Friday’s semi-final games are at 6:00 and 8:00 (ESPN2) with the Big 12 Championship game Saturday evening at 5:00 on ESPN.

We’ll find out who gets invited to the NCAA Tournament this week, too.  The broadcast of the selection of participants in the Big Dance will be Sunday afternoon at 4:30 on CBS.

The OKC Thunder have three games in four days this weekend, hosting Minnesota Friday night (7:00 on FSOK) before heading to San Antonio to face the Spurs Saturday night (7:30 on ABC). Monday, they’re back in OKC to host Portland (7:00 on FSOK).  Other great NBA action this weekend includes Chicago at San Antonio (Thursday at 7:00 on TNT), Cleveland at the Lakers (Thursday at 9:30 on TNT), Cleveland in L.A. to take on the Clippers (Sunday at 2:30 on ABC), Detroit at Washington (7:00 Monday on ESPN), and Cleveland at Utah (9:30 Monday on ESPN).

The PGA pros are still in Florida – for the third week in a row.  They’ll be at Palm Harbor for the Valspar Championship. Golf Channel coverage begins at 2:00 Thursday & Friday, and noon Saturday & Sunday.  NBC picks up the final two rounds at2:00 Saturday & Sunday;

and NASCAR drivers will be in Phoenix this weekend for the Good Sam 500 at 2:30 Sunday on Fox.

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A few of the week’s showers may hang around into part of the weekend on a scattered basis – but don’t be scared.  The weather steadily improves with nice, warm temperatures and decreasing rain chances as we kick off Spring Break.  But the time Monday rolls around, we’ll be basking in sunshine with temperatures pressing the 80-degree mark.  Enjoy your boating and enjoy your golf. And enjoy all the hospitality the Grand Lake clubs and restaurants have to offer.  Have fun, but remember, wherever you choose to party, be sure to buy a drink for the guy next to you.  It could be me. 

GRAND LAKE BUM

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Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area?  Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.

American Grill in Grove

Aquabar & Grill at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)

Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley (smoking in the bar)

Balcony Bar at The Shebang (Smoking – open Friday & Saturday nights)

Big Shots on Monkey Island (smoking upstairs—open Friday & Saturday nights)

Bobbers Café north of Langley on Highway 82

Book ‘ems at South Wind Marina in Bernice

Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patios)

Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)

Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)

Ceasar’s Place in Vinita and on Monkey Island

Chicken Coop in Langley

Clanton’s Café in Vinita

Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina

Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)

Drake’s Restaurant in Grove

Frosty & Edna’s (west of the dam in Langley)

Gabby’s Place in downtown Grove

Goodfella’s Pizza (Cleora and Grove)

Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)

Grand Lodge in Ketchum (smoking)

High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)

Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)

Iron Frog (Grove)

Island Joe's Kentena at Shangri-La Marina (smoking)

J.R. Spanky's on Highway 10 north of Grove (smoking)

Juan Montez Restaurant & Cantina at Red Arrow Marina

Karrie's Kaboose in Vinita (smoking)

La Casita de Martin in downtown Grove

Lakeside Bar & Grill in Grove at Sail Boat Bridge

Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum

Los Garcias in Langley

Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove

Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)

Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)

Morrows Landing in Raper Hollow

Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove

Okie Smokies Barbecue in Grove on Hwy 59 South

Book ‘ems Restaurant & Pub at South Wind Marina in Bernice

Pickles at the Lake in Langley

Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)

Raggedy’s in Grove

Rancho Viejo in Grove

Riggs & Company in Langley

Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)

Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)

Scooters in Langley (smoking)

Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)

Smokin’ Spur BBQ & Trading Post at Old Towne Plaza, Cleora

Sticky Fingers Barbecue in Ketchum

Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)

Summit Restaurant at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)

The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice

The Landings Marina (smoking on the deck)

The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)

The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)

The Office on Monkey Island (smoking)

The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)

The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)

Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)

VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)

Water Side Bar & Grill in Grove

Waterway Café, Harbors View Marina (smoking on breakwater dining deck)

Wolf Creek Diner in Grove

Wyandotte Nation Casino at Twin Bridges (smoking)