July 9 Random Observations of The Grand Lake Bum

Breathe deep! The 10-day Independence Day holiday is behind us and Grand Lake is back to normal – as normal as it gets. Every fireworks display I saw was awesome around the lake; but I must say, the old “Field of Dreams” adage was certainly proven true last weekend – “If you build it, they will come.” The crowds at Shangri-La and on the water for the Monkey Island Fireworks were incredible. The show was incredible, too, by the way. If someone is wondering about the impact on Grand Lake from Shangri-La, tell them the line I heard from so many of my buddies after the show at Shangri-La Saturday night: “This is the first time I’ve seen a traffic jam on Monkey Island in twenty years!”

*****

Don’t let your guard down. We’re not even halfway through summer – and you need to start digging your grass skirts out because the next big costume party of the year at Monkey Island pub is Saturday night’s Luau Party (following on the heels of their pig roast Friday night). As the Island theme says: The fun never sets on Monkey Island.

*****

Who says you can’t take your kids with you to your final resting place? In Indonesia last month, Samen Kondorura was joined by friends taking his late mother’s coffin to a lakkean, a wooden structure on stilts where bodies are stored for traditional funeral services there. There was a little problem getting up the bamboo ladder, though. The ladder broke, several people fell, and mama’s coffin fell on Samen who died enroute to the hospital. Mother’s final revenge.

*****

If you’re tempted to try the new Hot Dog Water as a gluten-free, KETO diet-compatible, post-workout source of sodium and electrolytes – read the label closely before you fork over $38. Every sleek bottle, which promises to help with weight loss, also contains a hot dog! It’s tempting until you read the tiny print at the bottom of the sales sheet: “Hot Dog Water in its absurdity hopes to encourage critical thinking related to product marketing and the significant role it can play in our purchasing choices.” Hot Dog Water CEO Douglas Blevins says the new product was dreamed up as a response to the “snake oil salesmen” of health marketing.

*****

I have a message for James Oster of Lancaster, Pennsylvania. When you threatened to shoot up a Wal-Mart store because they wouldn’t let you return an air pistol, you should have had some idea that such a statement wouldn’t have a good outcome. At press time, he hadn’t been able to come up with enough bail money.

*****

In Miami-Dade County, police have a little egg on their faces this week. A routine traffic stop of Lizmixell Batista turned up what police initially called “a large cache of weapons, drugs, and $20,000 cash which they confiscated.” As it turns out, the drug they suspected to be codeine was never tested, so that charge was dismissed. The guns were all legally owned and she had a concealed carry permit. Police still said they could keep the cash under their stupid asset forfeiture law, but Ms. Batista got a lawyer. As it turns out, she is a very popular dancer at a gentlemen’s club. Very popular. And the cops ended up returning her twenty-grand in cash in addition to another three grand for her lawyer who told reporters, “I thought all the glitter on the cash ought to be compelling evidence of where it came from, but the police disagreed.” The judge, however, did not disagree – and the cops have now returned  her money, guns and whatever that other “substance” turned out to be.  

*****

As it turns out, there is still a place to work, even if you are fired as co-President of Fox News for covering up sexual harassment in the workplace. Bill Shine is the new White House Communications Director.

*****

Even being the Grand Lake Bum, I gave a couple of seconds of thought as to whether I should put a disclaimer on this item…so, there it is. A group of funeral directors has now formed a company that can save your loved one’s tattoos even after they have died. “Since the tattoos were so important to your loved one, you might want to keep them as a keepsake,” they said. They remove the actual tattooed skin, treat it (presumably), then mount it behind glass in a frame. So, even though your loved one might be dead, they would still have some skin in the game.

*****

Let’s watch a video of the fireworks I took last year…said no one ever.

*****

BEST FACEBOOK POST THIS WEEK: “The worst mistake I ever made was appointing Ruth Bader Ginsburg to the Supreme Court.” – Abraham Lincoln

*****

BEST SIGN SEEN THIS WEEK: It’s so hot, the crackheads are putting the copper back in the AC units.

*****

RANDY KREHBIEL’S RANDOM FACTOID OF THE WEEK: Former US National Team goalkeeper and current World Cup commentator Tony Meola was a good enough baseball player to be drafted by the Yankees and letter one year at the University of Virginia before deciding to concentrate on soccer.

*****

TWEET OF THE WEEK: I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.

                                                       *****

FEEL-OLD MOMENTS OF THE WEEK: The movie “Airplane” was released 38 years ago. The movie “Forrest Gump” was released 24 years ago this week.

*****

BEST OBSERVATION OF THE WEEK: I started with 45’s, then vinyl albums, then reel-to-reel, then 8-tracks, then cassettes, then CD’s. Last week, the impact of satellite and live streaming ended an era. Best Buy stopped selling CD’s. Ironically, nostalgia is making another comeback. They’ll continue to sell vinyl albums.

*****

GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: Happy birthday wishes go out this week to Tami Wilson, Jon Wilson, Mike Aberle, Kelly Aberle, Bob Graper, Kasidy Jeffers, John McFerron, John Moore, Carol Fortner, Tyler Busch, Carolyn Frans, Tina Tolleson, Tony Russell, Judy Florida, Jimmy Young, Tevarhee Brackin, Diane Athey, Jay Fleming, Terri Swint, and Pam Hart.

*****

UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK: Of all the utensils invented to eat rice, how did two sticks win? (thanks to Linda Wall for sharing this one)

*****

BEST EVENTS OF THE WEEK: Friday night is a Pig Roast at Monkey Island Pub followed by a Luau Costume Party Saturday night. Saturday is also the MGA One-Man Scramble Tournament at Shangri-La Golf Club and Saturday is the SLWGA Horse Race at Shangri-La. Monday-Wednesday, July 16-18 talented young golfers will sharpen their skills at Junior Skills Camp, also at Shangri-La Golf Club.

*****

GRAND LAKE WEEKEND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT: There’s a lot of great entertainment around the lake this weekend. On Monkey Island, Mary-Heather and the Sinners entertain Saturday night at Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina. You are the star on the Balcony Bar at The Shebang with karaoke fun Friday andSaturday nights, and the dance floor will be hoppin’ with music by D.J. Deeko right across the street both Friday & Saturday nights at Big Shots Rhythm & Booze. Up highway 125, Saturday night is Luau Costume Party Night at Monkey Island Pub. At the Blind Swine, DJ Matt will entertain Friday night, and Scott Pendergrass will be on Stage Saturday night. At Littlefield Corner, the Road Hog Saloon also features live entertainment by Lickitty Split Saturday night.

If live theatre is more your style, there’s an incredible “participation play” production of Nightingale opening Sunday afternoon at 2:00 at Playmakers in Grove, followed by a Tuesday performance at 7:00; and Picture in Scripture Amphitheater features the live production of Damascus Road Friday and Saturday night east of Disney.

On South Grand Lake, Friday night is Karaoke Night at Michelle’s Bar & Grill at Grand Lodge in Ketchum – and there’s always live entertainment at Michelle’s on Saturday night.

Friday night, Michael Barham and Jacob Dement will provide the entertainment at Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina, followed by Reverse Reaction Saturday night. There is always Friday & Saturday night entertainment & karaoke fun on the deck at Juan Montez at Red Arrow Marina; and Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney also features live music by Hydramatics Saturday night.

Area casinos have big entertainment plans, too. Cherokee Casino Grove features the acoustic music of Western Justice Friday night and Whiskey Poet Society Saturdaynight. At Bordertown Casino’s Lost Creek Saloon, you are the star at Thursday night karaoke. Friday night is music by Shawna Russell; and Derryl Perry entertainsSaturday. At River Bend Casino’s Club 60 West Bar, Earl & Them will perform Friday night. At Grand Lake Casino’s Venue 655, Big Smitty will be on stage Fridaynight. Indigo Sky Casino offers three nights of musical entertainment this week. Chris Hyde performs Thursday and Friday nights in the Echo Bar, followed by Mayday by Midnight Saturday.

The best spots to catch all your favorite sports action, including PGA Golf, Major League Baseball, FIFA World Cup Soccer and NASCAR are Doc’s Bar & Grill at Shangri-La Resort Hotel, the Standing Room Only Bar at The Shebang, Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina, Monkey Island Pub, Blind Swine, Road Hog Saloon, 1909 in Grove, and Pickles at the Lake in Langley.

*****

BUM MUST-SEE TV: Next Monday, July 16 is the release date for the HBO documentary Robin Williams: Come Inside My Mind. The 2018 ESPY Awards air next Wednesday at 7:00 on ABC; and the Season 8 premiere of Suits is also next Wednesday night at 8:00 on USA.

*****

BUM MUST-SEE MOVIES: Skyscraper and Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation

*****

QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “Dating sites really work. A poll shows that 12% of Americans met their spouse online, while 88% met someone else’s spouse online.” – Argus Hamilton

*****

SAVE THE DATE: Thursday-Friday, July 19-20 – Junior Club Championship Tournament at Shangri-La Golf Club. Thursday-Saturday, July 19-21 – Annual Oklahoma Legislative Golf Tournament and Family Getaway Weekend on Grand Lake. Friday, July 20 – Legislative Breakfast at Trinity Baptist Church of Grove (7:30 a.m.). Saturday, July 21 – Grand Bobber Drop. Saturday, July 21 – Aquapalooza (between the spillways at Disney). Saturday, July 28 – Members Golf Cart Drive-In Movie Night at Shangri-La Golf Club. Saturday-Sunday, August 4-5 – Big Bass Cash Tournament. Saturday, August 11 – Premiere of the movie “Wedding Belles” at the Cinema 6 in Grove followed by an after party at Big Shots on Monkey Island. Wednesday, August 22 – Will Rogers Rodeo Parade in downtown Vinita (11:00 a.m.)

*****

PGA players are in Illinois this week for the John Deere Classic at TPC Deere Run. Coverage begins at 3:00 Thursday and Friday, and Saturday & Sunday at noon on the Golf Channel. CBS picks up the final two rounds Saturday & Sunday at 2:00.

This weekend is also the Senior Players Championship Tournament. All coverage is on the Golf Channel – 12:30 Thursday and Friday, and 4:00 Saturday and Sunday.

The FIFA World Cup competition moves to a conclusion this week. The playoff game for third place will air at 9:00 Saturday morning. The Championship Game airs at10:00 Sunday morning, both on Fox.

Major League Baseball TV coverage this week includes a Saturday match-up between Texas and Baltimore (6:15 on Fox) and a crosstown battle between the Angles and Dodgers Sunday afternoon at 3:00 on ESPN+. Next Tuesday night is the MLB All-Star Game. Coverage begins at 7:00 on Fox.

NASCAR drivers are at in Kentucky this week for Saturday night prime time racing. Coverage of the Quaker State 400 begins at 6:30 on NBCSN.

*****

Summertime continues on Grand Lake this weekend. We’ll have sunshine, highs in the mid-90s, lows in the mid-70s and winds up to 10 MPH for the foreseeable future. There’s certainly plenty of fun on the Grand Lake agenda this weekend – both outside and inside. Be safe, have fun, and stay hydrated. And, remember…wherever you decide to party, be sure to buy a drink for the guy next to you. It could be me.

GRAND LAKE BUM

Want more information on advertisers you see in the Grand Lake Bum?  No problem.  Just click on their ad and you will be connected to their web site.  If you would like to join the growing list of sponsors of The Grand Lake Bum e-blast and the Bum’s page on both grandlakenewsonline.com and www.360grandlake.com, as well as Grand Times on Grand Lake, the cost is only $50 a week and the list of readers is growing.  E-mail or contact grandlakebum@gmail.com to sign up. The Grand Lake Bum column is also published in The Grand Laker.

Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area?  Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.

1909 in Downtown Grove

Ailey’s Café in Langley

American Grill in Grove

Aquabar & Grill at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)

Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley

Balcony Bar at The Shebang (Smoking – open Friday & Saturday nights)

Big Shots on Monkey Island (Open Friday & Saturday nights)

Blind Swine on Monkey Island

Blue Bluff Café at Blue Bluff Harbor

Bobbers Café in Langley

Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)

Café Italia on Monkey Island

Café Yum in Grove

Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)

Ceasar’s Place in Vinita and at Littlefield Corner

Checkered Past in Grove

Chickanella’s in Grove

Chicken Coop West of Langley

Clanton’s Café in Vinita

Coffee Shelter in Ketchum

Cosby’s Catfish on Highway 28 in Eucha (East of Disney)

Doc’s Bar & Grill at Shangri-La Resort Hotel

Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina

Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)

Drake’s on the Lake at Blue Bluff Harbor

Drake’s Restaurant in Grove

Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina

Gabby’s Place in downtown Grove

Goodfella’s Pizza (Cleora and Grove)

Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)

Grand Lodge in Ketchum (smoking)

Hatfield’s Saloon in Grove

High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)

Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)

Juan Montez Restaurant & Cantina at Red Arrow Marina

Karrie's Kaboose in Langley (smoking)

La Casita de Martin in downtown Grove

Lakeside Bar & Grill in Grove at Sail Boat Bridge

Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum

Los Garcias in Langley

Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove

Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)

Monkey’s Uncle at Littlefield Corner (Breakfast & lunch)

Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)

Morrows Bar & Grill in Raper Hollow

Mulligan’s at Patricia Island Golf Club in Grove

Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove

Okie Smokies Barbecue in Grove on Hwy 59 South

Pickles at the Lake in Langley

Pit Stop Café in Grove

Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)

Raggedy’s in Grove

Rancho Viejo in Grove

Riggs & Company in Langley

River Bend Casino in Wyandotte (smoking)

Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)

Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)

Scooters in Langley (smoking)

Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)

Smokin’ Spur BBQ & Trading Post at Old Towne Plaza, Cleora

Sticky Fingers Barbecue in Ketchum

Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)

The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice

The Landings Marina (smoking on the deck)

The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)

The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)

The Office on Monkey Island (smoking)

The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)

The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)

Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)

VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)

Water Side Bar & Grill in Grove

Waterway Café, Harbors View Marina (smoking on breakwater dining deck)

Wolf Creek Diner in Grove