March 30 Random Observations Of The Grand Lake Bum

Just when you thought our government officials didn’t understand us, the list of “essential businesses” was released, listing businesses who are so important they are allowed to stay open, even during the time-frame of Governor Stitt’s “Safer at Home” order. Included on the list were liquor stores and marijuana dispensaries. To make matters even easier, the ABLE Commission, the state agency that regulates alcohol sales, issued an emergency order allowing liquor stores, bars, restaurants, convenience stores, and grocery stores to deliver beer, wine and, in the case of liquor stores, hard liquor – or allow us to pick it up curbside. Alcohol kills germs…and I’m sure all the germs are not on the outside of our bodies. Stay safe, stay healthy. Stay clean inside and out!

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There’s good news. Congress approved – and the President signed a $2.2 trillion relief bill which will allow Grand Lake businesses – and all others in the country to survive this irritating pandemic crisis. Passage didn’t come a moment too soon. Unemployment filings in the United States last week topped 3 million – almost equal to the population of Oklahoma. In our own state, the news was similar. Normally, Oklahoma has 1,800 new filings per week. Last week, we had 19,000 in one day. Hopefully the payroll relief in the newly approved federal legislation will allow employers to keep their employees on the payroll allowing a much quicker recovery for us all.

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All of us who are stuck at home should call random phone numbers in India and ask them about their extended car warranty.

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Not everyone is stuck at home, though. I’ve never seen a final weekend of March at Grand Lake with so many people on the golf course and out on the lake in boats. Wide open spaces are a good place to have a little fun and maintain social distancing – and people are taking advantage. With physical school facilities closed for the remainder of the year, churches closed, the legislature closed, museums & galleries closed, and many businesses closed until mid-to-late April, people have obviously decided to do their self-quarantine at Grand Lake. I wouldn’t be surprised if restaurants offering take-out and delivery are surpassing the cash-flow from their normal dine-in business. People still want to play at Grand Lake – and they are! They just can’t go to a bar, dine in at a restaurant – and they don’t want to expose themselves to whatever is going up and down the grocery store aisles. Curbside pick-up, take-out & delivery are the new normal. And those places are getting busier every day. Deck-drinking is the new bar-hopping. And with the new Shelter in Place orders in Tulsa and Oklahoma City, the drinking decks are at Grand Lake!

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Thoughts and prayers going out to all the married men who’ve spent months telling their wives, “I’ll do that when I’ve got time.” (thanks to Andy Stewart for sharing this one)

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PUBLIC EVENT CANCELLATION NOTICE: The annual GEFFE Gala, hosted by the Grove Educational Foundation and originally scheduled for the Grove Civic Center Saturday night, has been canceled due to COVID-19 CDC recommendations.

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GRAND LAKE DINING & DRINKING UPDATE: COVID-19 protocol has virtually eliminated dining-in options at restaurants. Blind Swine has closed until April 17. All bars are closed. Licensed restaurants, and convenience stores are allowed to provide curbside pick-up and delivery of beer & wine – and liquor stores are allowed to provide curbside pick-up and delivery of spirits, as well. Artichoke, 1909, Grand Lake Public House, Shebang, Mulligans, Roadhog Saloon, The Grill at Indian Hills, The Parrot, Juan Montez, and Doc’s Bar & Grill at Shangri-La are among many locally owned restaurants offering curbside pick-up of food & beverages. The Shebang and Doc's have gone a step further. Shebang urges patrons to “consider us to be your pantry” and is offering curbside delivery of some grocery items. Doc’s is offering a variety of “grocery packages” as well as individual grocery items like milk & eggs for curbside pick-up for home preparation. Necessity is the Mother of Invention. And Grand Lake businesses are inventive, for sure!

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DRINK OF THE WEEK: Corona Zero

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BARGAIN OF THE WEEK: I found a TP supply! I bought a two-pack of toilet paper from Doc’s Bar & Grill pick-up service. It cost $35…but it came with a free chicken, four hamburger patties, a gallon of milk, a dozen eggs, two onions, a bell pepper, a pound of butter, a salad kit, a block of cheese, and four hamburger buns.

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RANDY KREHBIEL’S RANDOM FACTOID OF THE WEEK: The word and measurement "mile" derives from the Latin "mille passus," or "1,000 paces."

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BEST FACEBOOK POST OF THE WEEK: Everyone is freaking out about the National Guard in their towns. Relax, Karen, it’s not Seal Team 6. That’s Kevin the bartender from Applebee’s drinking a White Claw and driving a Humvee at 9:00 a.m. They aren’t coming for your 86 rolls of toilet paper.

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HOME-SCHOOLING COMMENT OF THE WEEK: In science class this week, we studied the effects of Nyquil on students.

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BEST SIGN SEEN THIS WEEK: Whiskey. It’s like hand sanitizer, but for your insides.  

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TWEET OF THE WEEK: I don’t like the fact that my chances of survival seem to be linked to the common sense of others.

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BEST PUN OF THE WEEK: Still social distancing. I struck up a conversation with a spider today. He seems nice. He’s a web designer.

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OBSERVATION OF THE WEEK: History books on how all the earthlings died: they used so much toilet paper, they wiped themselves out.

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BEST (FAKE) HEADLINE OF THE WEEK: Circuses struggling to find new clowns as top prospects continue to go into politics

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FEEL OLD MOMENTS OF THE WEEK: Remember the first time you went to a Braum’s Ice Cream & Dairy Store? Company founder Bill Braum died last week. He was 92. Iconic composer/lyricist Stephen Sondheim, credited with having “reinvented the American musical,” turned 90 years old last week.

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GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: Happy birthday wishes go out this week to Linda Wall, Terri Markham, Diana Stephens, Grant Forkner, Mike Farley, Wayne Smith, Erin Gayer, Trina Kelly, Kacey Threet, Mike Kelly, Sam Walker, Tod Sanger, Ginger Richey, Brian Edwards, Stormy Ware, and Steve Oden.

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UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK: Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?

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BUM MUST-SEE TV: Broke premieres on CBS Thursday night at 8:30. ACM Presents: Our Country airs Sunday night at 7:00 on CBS.

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BUM MUST-SEE MOVIE: Coffee & Kareem available this weekend on NETFLIX

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.” – Will Rogers

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SAVE THE DATE: Friday-Sunday, April 17-19 – Tour d’ Island Weekend on Monkey Island. Saturday, April 18 – Monkey Island Pub Crawl. Saturday, April 18 – The fabulous Old Bulldog Band performs for a fundraiser at Big Shots. Saturday, April 25 – Monkey Island Trail “Golf Cart Poker Run” fundraiser. Friday, May 1 – Season Opening for Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina.  Friday, May 1 – Season Opening for Sharky’s Bar at Hammerhead Marina. Friday-Sunday, May 1-3 – Nichols Marine In-Water Boat Show at Shangri-La Marina. Saturday, May 2 – Season Opening for Quarterdeck Café at Tera Miranda Harbor. Saturday, May 2 – 10^th Annual Cedar Port Marina Scavenger Hunt benefiting the Ketchum Backpack Program. Friday, May 8 – Grove Chamber Golf Tournament at Patricia Island.

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SPORTS NON-WATCH: No basketball, no baseball, no soccer, no NASCAR and now…no Summer Olympics until next year. The strangest thing of all, though, is the postponement of the Kentucky Derby until September. It hasn’t been moved from the first Saturday in May since World War II…until now. Every sports channel is now competing heads up with the Classic Golf Channel and ESPN Classic.

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The weather for the coming weekend isn’t quite as friendly as the weekend gone by, but the forecast for the first weekend of April is pretty darn nice. After a possible shower or two Friday morning, we’ll have sunshine, highs around 60 and lows in the upper 40s. Enjoy Coronavirus Break on Grand Lake! Since the bars aren’t open, you can’t by a drink for the guy next to you…but you can always pay ahead by ordering from your favorite restaurant or liquor store and leaving the surprise bottle for the next guy. It could be me!

GRAND LAKE BUM

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Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area?  Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.

1909 in Downtown Grove

Ailey’s Café in Langley

Aquabar & Grill at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)

Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley

Balcony Bar at The Shebang (Smoking – open Friday & Saturday nights)

Big Shots on Monkey Island (Open Friday & Saturday nights)

Blind Swine on Monkey Island

Blue Bluff Café at Blue Bluff Harbor

Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)

Café Italia on Monkey Island

Café Yum in Grove

Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)

Ceasar’s Place in Vinita and at Littlefield Corner

Checkered Past in Grove

Chickanella’s in Grove

Chicken Coop West of Langley

Clanton’s Café in Vinita

Coppers Tea & Coffee House in Grove

Cosby’s Catfish on Highway 28 in Eucha (East of Disney)

Doc’s Bar & Grill at Shangri-La Resort Hotel

Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina

Domino’s in Grove

Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)

Drake’s on the Lake at Blue Bluff Harbor

Drake’s Restaurant in Grove

Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina (smoking)

Gabby’s Place in downtown Grove

Goodfella’s Pizza (Cleora and Grove)

Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)

Grand Lake Public House in Grove

Hatfield’s Saloon in Grove

Henrie’s Grill in Grove

High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)

Honey Creek BBQ in Grove (south of Honey Creek bridge)

Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)

Juan Montez Restaurant & Cantina at Red Arrow Marina

La Casita de Martin in downtown Grove

Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum

Los Garcias in Langley

Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove

Matt’s Place in Grove

Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)

Monkey’s Uncle at Littlefield Corner (Breakfast & lunch)

Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)

Morrow’s Bar & Grill at Morrow’s Landing

Mulligan’s at Patricia Island Golf Club in Grove

Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove

Pappy’s Bar on Hwy 10 east of Grove

Pickles at the Lake in Langley

Pit Stop Café in Grove

Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)

Raggedy’s in Grove

Rancho Viejo in Grove

Riggs & Company in Langley

River Bend Casino in Wyandotte (smoking)

Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)

Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)

Scooters in Langley (smoking)

Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)

Sticky Fingers Barbecue in Ketchum

Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)

The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice

The Landings Marina (smoking on the deck)

The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)

The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)

The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)

The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)

Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)

VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)

Water Side Bar & Grill in Grove

Waterway Café, Harbors View Marina (smoking on breakwater dining deck)

Wolf Creek Diner in Grove