October 2nd Random Observations of The Grand Lake Bum

Early fall weather couldn’t have been better for big events over the past weekend. I ate and drank my way around the lake! I started early at the South Grand Chamber’s big Hook N’ Cookoff event, then buzzed by Eddy’s Lakeside Bar for their last weekend of the season, and still made it to the Monkey Island Fire Department in time for the Women’s Auxiliary Monkey Island Block Party – and managed to stay standing long enough to do a little karaoke at The Shebang! Sunday was equally picture perfect – but it seemed like a good day to hit the water and enjoy a little relaxing raft-up with some buddies. The Fall Ball on Grand Lake is truly the best!

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I must admit that some days I’m tempted to just sit around in my underwear or pajamas and just smoke and drink all day; but last week, we lost the only guy who managed to turn that kind of activity into a fortune. Saturday night, Big Shots is throwing a big party in Hugh Hefner’s honor, urging guys to come in their silk pajamas or smoking jackets, and ladies in Bunny costumes or slinky lingerie. There’s a special prize for the oldest playboy who shows up at the party. I know several who could be damn competitive, but I’m not sure they can stay up that late.

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Sometimes newfangled electronic devices aren’t what they’re cracked up to be. I don’t know how much you use a GPS for directions, but they’re apparently not foolproof. In Sellersville, Pennsylvania Gabriel Bishop put so much faith in his car’s GPS that he followed it exactly, even when it led him down a bicycle path along the Lehigh River. When he finally got to a bridge so low he couldn’t get under it, he decided to ignore the GPS directions and tried to back out of his predicament. Unfortunately, the path was so narrow he rolled his car into the river. Sometimes, good old-fashioned maps are still the best choice. Oh, and Gabriel….here’s your sign.

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October means the fall season is officially on a roll and Halloween is on the near horizon. However, there is something about October that is scarier than Halloween to a lot of people. It’s spider mating month. Male spiders will start crawling out of their hiding places in closets, cabinets and shower ceiling and drains (not to mention every opening in your boat), looking for the ladies. Experts say homeowners can expect 150 million of the orangey-brown “house spiders” will be looking for love in all the wrong places…around your house!

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Over the years, I’ve noticed Australians can be pretty creative. I’m not sure this falls into that category – but it might be a solution to all the trigger-happy death penalty states trying to find an acceptable and available drug for lethal injections. Lance Michael Pearce was arrested last week for the murder of his girlfriend in Sydney. He won’t have to stand trial, though. He choked to death on a plastic-wrapped chicken sandwich in the jail. Death by sandwich!  How could THAT be declared unconstitutional?

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FUN FACT OF THE WEEK: Forbes has compiled a list of college athletes who have been drafted into professional sports over the last four years. So, which school produced the most professional athletes?  If you guessed UCLA, you would be right – 22 Major League Baseball players, 19 drafted into the NFL and 11 into the NBA. Rounding out the top five colleges in pro athlete production are LSU, Kentucky, Clemson, and Florida. Oklahoma ranked 16^th (40 draftees) and Oklahoma State 18^th  (37 draftees).

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We now know why Russell Westbrook waited so long to sign the biggest contract in NBA history with the OKC Thunder. He wanted to sign it on September 29. Kevin Durant’s birthday. Burn.

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Some things are just difficult to understand. Take Jason Reese, for example, a GOP lawyer who is running for a spot in the Oklahoma House of Representatives. He filed his Ethics Commission report, just like he’s supposed to – except for one expense item he listed. He listed a campaign expense for the purchase of “Hotwife Chloe Needs to be Punished.” Yep, you guessed it. It’s a porno film. Mr. Reese responded by saying he’s amending his Ethics Commission report and “we have determined that the listing was human error.” Hahaha. Ya’ think?   I’m thinking there might be a lot more candidates for office if it turns out that the purchase of porno films is actually a legitimate campaign expense.

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Randy Krehbiel’s Random Factoid of the Week: “The Army is Always There,” winner of the U.S. Army’s 1952 contest to find an official song, was soon dropped because officials thought the tune too similar to “I’ve Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts.”

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LEGAL TIP OF THE WEEK (from Scott Briscoe): When running from the scene of your crime, the law will be able to track you down if you leave behind your wallet. And your car. And your friends sitting in your car.

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BEST FACEBOOK POST THIS WEEK: Before you judge someone, walk a mile in their shoes. After that, who cares? They’re a mile away and you’ve got their shoes!

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BEST SIGN SEEN THIS WEEK: Things that tell the truth: small children, drunks, and yoga pants.

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BEST TWEET OF THE WEEK: I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.

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GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: Happy Birthday wishes go out this week to my special gal pal, Cari Williams, as well as Jared Jeffers, Katie Allen, Colleen Garrett, Angela Estep, Bobby Combs, Alexandra Rush, Patty Northrop, Nancy Saamer, Barry Eller, Pat Flanagan, Luke Curley, Lane Worley, Jason Smith, Saunie Boeve, Jim Hollingshead, Art Couch, Bob Altmiller, and Tom Love.  A special shout-out goes to all the participants in the Jim Beam Folds of Honor Classic at Shangri-La Sunday – and the Wounded Warriors in Action benefit bass tournament out of Wolfe Creek. Shangri-La Resort was also a major sponsor of the Wounded Warriors in Action tournament. Great sport for great causes!

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UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK: What do penguins wear for play clothes?

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BEST EVENTS OF THE WEEK: Saturday is the big South Grand Lake Lions Club Chili Cook-off at the Langley ball fields.Saturday is also the date for the Ride to Rescue Poker Run benefitting PAAS (starts at PAAS in Vinita, last bike out at 11:00 a.m. Last bike in to Road Hog Saloon at 4:00). Next Wednesday is the opening day of the Pelican Festival at Wolf Creek Park in Grove.

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GRAND LAKE WEEKEND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT: There are great entertainment options around the lake this weekend. On Monkey Island, Randy Lunsford will entertain behind the keyboard at The Shebang this weekend. The Balcony Bar upstairs at The Shebang features you as the entertainment with karaoke fun both Friday & Saturday nights; and across the street at Big Shots Rhythm & Booze, Saturday night’s “Hugh Hefner Memorial Playboy Pajama Party” should be a lot of fun. Wear your favorite Playboy get-up (prizes for the oldest Playboy Magazine – and the oldest “playboy” present. Just down the highway from there, Friday night is Karaoke Night at Monkey Island Pub. Erin Fitzgibbon performs Sunday nights at Blind Swine, and there’s always great live weekend entertainment at the Road Hog Saloon.

On South Grand Lake, Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney will feature music by The Zigs Saturday night.

Area casinos have excellent musical options this weekend, as well. The weekend will be special at River Bend Casino’s Club 60 West Bar with The Band DeLorean Friday night and a special UFC 216: Watch Party Saturday night (Ferguson vs. Lee and Johnson vs. Borg). It’s a Throwback Thursday night Downstream Casino’s Legends Sports Bar, with Animals providing a Pink Floyd tribute Thursday night. Derryl Perry will be on stage Friday night, followed by Audio Crush Saturday. At Indigo Sky Casino, there is live entertainment in the Echo Bar starting Thursday night with music by Lickitty Split. Friday night features the music of Thomas Martinez followed by FM Live Saturday night. At Grand Lake Casino’s Venue 655, Paralandra will performFriday night. Stonehorse will be on stage at Lost Creek Saloon at Bordertown Casino Friday night, with The Bobby D Bandwrapping up the weekend entertainment Saturday night.

The best spots to catch all your favorite sports action, including NFL Football, College Football, NASCAR and PGA Golf are Doc’s Bar & Grill at Shangri-La Resort Hotel, Monkey Island Pub, the Standing Room Only Bar at The Shebang, Road Hog Saloon, 1909 in Grove, and Pickles at the Lake in Langley.

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BUM MUST-SEE TV: The Season 7 premiere of Scandal airs Thursday night at 8:00 on ABC. A new season of Madam Secretary is Sunday night in a new time slot - 9:00 on CBS. Season 8 of Blue Bloods begins Friday night at 9:00 on CBS; and a new season of Saturday Night Live starts Saturday night at 10:30 on NBC with Ryan Gosling and Jay-Z. The popular seriesCurb Your Enthusiasm returns to the airwaves with its first new episodes since 2011 Sunday night at 9:00 on HBO.

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BUM MUST-SEE MOVIES: Blade Runner 2049 and The Mountain Between Us

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “When someone dies, have you noticed how people always say, ‘they went to a better place’? I don’t think they can say that about Hugh Hefner.”

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SAVE THE DATE: Wednesday-Saturday, October 11-14 – Pelican Festival & Carnival at Wolf Creek Park in Grove. Friday, October 20 – Grove Rotary Bob Killion Memorial Golf Tournament at Patricia Island Golf Club. Saturday, October 21 – Grand Hangar Hoedown fundraiser featuring Lickitty Split at South Grand Lake Regional Airport (6-10 p.m.). Saturday & Sunday, October 21-22 – Shangri-La Men’s & Women’s Club Championship Tournament. Monday, October 23 – South Grand Lake Area Chamber of Commerce Golf Tournament at The Coves. Friday, October 27 – Shangri-La’s Community-wide Halloween Family Fun party (6:00-9:00 p.m. across the street from the Monkey Island Fire Dept. – bonfire, hayrides, music by No Apparent Reason, dogs & s’mores). Saturday, October 28 – Shangri-La’s Halloween Dinner, Ball & Costume Contest at the Roosevelt Ballroom in the resort hotel (music by Uninvited Guest). Saturday, November 11 – Harbors View Marina Barn Dance.

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It’s a whole new season, already for the PGA. They didn’t even have a week off after the Presidents Cup. The Safeway Open starts the 2017-18 PGA Tour play. Coverage is on the Golf Channel Thursday-Sunday at 4:30 p.m.

In the college football world, OSU has the week off. OU hosts Iowa State at 11:00 Saturday morning (Fox) and Tulsa is at Tulane at 3:00 (ESPNU). Arkansas is at South Carolina – also at 3:00, but only on the SEC Network. Thursday night’s NCAA game should be a good one, too – Louisville at North Carolina State (7:00 on ESPN). Other good Saturday match-ups include Alabama at Texas A&M, Michigan State at Michigan, West Virginia at TCU, Oregon State at USC, and Kansas State at Texas.

The NFL weekend kicks off Thursday night with New England at Tampa Bay (7:30 on CBS). Sunday’s noon games are Arizona at Philadelphia (Fox) and the L.A. Chargers at NY Giants (CBS). Green Bay is at Dallas at 3:30 (Fox) and Houston hosts Kansas City Sunday night (7:30 on NBC). Monday Night Football features Minnesota at Chicago (7:30 on ESPN). 

The NASCAR boys are running at Charlotte this weekend. Coverage of the Bank of America 500 begins at 1:00 Sunday afternoon on NBC.

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The weather looks especially nice for the weekend ahead. We’ll have light breezes, sunshine and high temperatures around 80. Grab a jacket for the evenings, though. Lows will dip down around the 60-degree mark. There’s a lot happening around the lake this week. Get out and enjoy all the fall fun stuff, but remember, be sure to buy a drink for the guy next to you.  It could be me. 

GRAND LAKE BUM

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Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area?  Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake. 

1909 in Downtown Grove

American Grill in Grove

Aquabar & Grill at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)

Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley

Balcony Bar at The Shebang (Smoking – open Friday & Saturday nights)

Big Shots on Monkey Island (smoking upstairs—open Friday & Saturday nights)

Blind Swine on Monkey Island

Blue Bluff Café at Blue Bluff Harbor

Bobbers Café in Langley

Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)

Café Italia on Monkey Island

Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)

Ceasar’s Place in Vinita and on Monkey Island

Chickanella’s in Grove

Chicken Coop West of Langley

Clanton’s Café in Vinita

Coffee Shelter in Ketchum

Cosby’s Catfish on Highway 28 in Eucha (East of Disney)

Doc’s Bar & Grill at Shangri-La Resort Hotel

Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina

Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)

Drake’s on the Lake at Blue Bluff Harbor

Drake’s Restaurant in Grove

Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina

Frosty & Edna’s (west of the dam in Langley)

Gabby’s Place in downtown Grove

Goodfella’s Pizza (Cleora and Grove)

Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)

Grand Lodge in Ketchum (smoking)

Hatfield’s Saloon in Grove

High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)

Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)

Juan Montez Restaurant & Cantina at Red Arrow Marina

Karrie's Kaboose in Langley (smoking)

La Casita de Martin in downtown Grove

Lakeside Bar & Grill in Grove at Sail Boat Bridge

Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum

Los Garcias in Langley

Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove

Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)

Monkey’s Uncle at Littlefield Corner (Breakfast & lunch)

Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)

Morrows Bar & Grill in Raper Hollow

Mulligan’s at Patricia Island Golf Club in Grove

Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove

Okie Smokies Barbecue in Grove on Hwy 59 South

Pickles at the Lake in Langley

Pit Stop Café in Grove

Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)

Raggedy’s in Grove

Rancho Viejo in Grove

Riggs & Company in Langley

River Bend Casino in Wyandotte (smoking)

Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)

Roadhouse 125 on Monkey Island (smoking deck)

Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)

Scooters in Langley (smoking)

Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)

Smokin’ Spur BBQ & Trading Post at Old Towne Plaza, Cleora

Sticky Fingers Barbecue in Ketchum

Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)

The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice

The Landings Marina (smoking on the deck)

The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)

The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)

The Office on Monkey Island (smoking)

The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)

The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)

Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)

VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)

Water Side Bar & Grill in Grove

Waterway Café, Harbors View Marina (smoking on breakwater dining deck)

Wolf Creek Diner in Grove