Random Observations From The Grand Lake Bum On Mothers Day

 

 

Except for continually rising lake levels, we enjoyed a virtually perfect Mother’s Day weekend at Grand Lake. I hope everybody’s Mother had a day to remember. The weather was outstanding – and I’m pretty sure everyone who wasn’t at a college or high school graduation ceremony was at the lake. It was awesome. Everywhere I went was absolutely packed! The new Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina was packed day and night – and the weather stayed nice enough in the evenings that the Balcony Bar at The Shebang was filled with singers at the karaoke bar until way late. I believe summer has finally arrived! Next weekend should be even bigger with colleges out for the year – and next up after that is Memorial Weekend. Grab a tight hold and get a faraway look in your eye. Here we go!!!

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In Britain, government officials are getting complaints about the new 5-pound note which is made out of a new polymer product. Citizens are complaining that the new 5-pound note cuts their noses when they use it to snort cocaine.  Google it. I don’t make this stuff up!

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Sometimes we underestimate the power of trending diets (or overestimate the intelligence of the people around us). In Tecumseh, Oklahoma last week, law enforcement officials lured druggies into their sting operation by offering to test their meth to make sure it was gluten-free.

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May-September marriages don’t always work well, but we have a couple of high profile test cases in the political arena. Newly elected French President Emmanuel Macron is married to a woman 24 years older than he is. Ironically, that’s the same age difference between President Trump and his wife Melania. The difference is, President Macron’s wife will live with him. 

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I know not everybody who reads this column knows me personally, but those who do will know why I am supportive of the newly released study that concludes “bald men are smarter, stronger, and sexier.” Can I get an “Amen?”

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Is it a sign we’re getting older when Jimmy Buffet’s new big gig is the kick off groundbreaking celebration for his new development of a retirement center?  Seriously. “Latitude Margaritaville” may sound like a club – but it’s really Buffet’s new series of retirement home developments in Florida. The first is in Daytona, with occupancy of the first homes next year.

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Amidst all the turmoil over President Trump’s firing of FBI Director James Comey, there wasn’t much focus on who will step in to take the most perilous job in the country. A few heads finally popped up, but for a long time everybody seemed to be ducking their heads and turning the other way when their name was mentioned for the post. I was afraid the post of FBI Director was going to be another one of those jobs that no American would want, and we’ll have to fill it with an immigrant!

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There’s been a Sasquatch sighting in Colorado. According to Darrel Whitaker from Glenwood Springs, it was far more than a normal sighting. He said Sasquatch knocked him to the ground, tore his clothes, and tried to rape him. Whitaker says he stabbed him in the shoulder with his hunting knife, and Sasquatch ran off. I know you’ll find this hard to believe, but when the cops arrived, they couldn’t find Sasquatch….again.

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In Hood River, Oregon, Edwin Charge, Jr. and two accomplices tried to rob a business, but ran off when police showed up. The two accomplices were arrested, but Ed was a little more fleet of foot. He took off and outran the cops across I-84 and into the woods. They probably wouldn’t have ever caught up to him if he hadn’t run off the edge of a cliff…to his death. Sometimes, it’s just better to give up.

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Hey, I think I may have spotted a job for which I am actually qualified – and interested.  France’s space medicine operation near Toulouse is offering 24 job opportunities that pay $17,500 for two months “work.” The job involves simply lying in bed continuously, doing nothing, so they can study the effects of virtual weightlessness. Like most great job opportunities, there’s a catch, of course. They’re serious about “doing nothing but lying there.” All bodily functions have to be carried out while keeping at least one shoulder on the bed. If nothing else, it might make a great YouTube video!

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QUOTE WORTH REQUOTING from Lon Harris: “So, how long before GoFundMe is our nation’s leading healthcare provider?

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DEEP THOUGHT: The human body is 60% water. I’m not fat. I’m flooded!

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GRAND LAKE DINING AND DRINKING BY WATER UPDATE: The AquaBar at The Landings Marina opens for the season Thursday; and season-opener for The Quarterdeck Café  at Tera Miranda Resort is Friday!

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BEST SIGN SEEN THIS WEEK: Arguing with a woman is like getting arrested. Everything you say can and will be used against you.

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BEST FACEBOOK POST THIS WEEK: I don’t mean to brag…but I just put a puzzle together in one day, and the box said 2-4 years.

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GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: Happy Birthday wishes go out this week to Vicki Stockwell, Charlie Mitchell, Charlie Russell, Paula Silzer, Bob Hart, Marshall Brackin, Randy Hess, Debbie Hess, Nolan Couch, Bill Flegler, Randy Hefley, Vicki Graper, Kevin Blumenthal, Ron Tipton, Edward Gibbs, Mel Martin, and Jim Richie.

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UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK:  Who was the first person to look inside an oyster shell and say, “Hmmm….that big piece of snot looks delicious!”?

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BEST EVENTS OF THE WEEK: Golfers may want to brush up their skill sets with the “Back to the Basics” Bunker Play Clinic at Shangri-La Golf Club Friday at 5:00. The South Grand Lake Lions Club KCBS sanctioned BBQ Festival is this weekend –Friday night and all day Saturday at the Langley ball fields. Saturday is also the Barkaritaville fundraising “Parrothead” benefit for Second Chance Pet Rescue, 5:00-9:00 at Honey Creek Landing/Parrot Restaurant/music by The Exit 34. Saturday andSunday are Civil War Days at the Har-Ber Village Museum in Grove. Saturday, GRDA will host a Boating Safety Course from8:00-5:00 at the Ecosystems Center in Langley (no charge).

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GRAND LAKE WEEKEND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT: There are lots of entertainment options around the lake this weekend, including Randy Lunsford performing through the weekend in the Burlesque Room at The Shebang on Monkey Island. Across the street at Big Shots Rhythm & Booze, enjoy all the best dance tunes Friday & Saturday nights. Just down the highway from there, Friday night is Karaoke Night at Monkey Island Pub and Saturday night is the big Steampunk costume party. Just down the road, there’s always great entertainment Saturday night and Sunday afternoon at the Road Hog Saloon.

In Grove, Exit 34 will provide musical entertainment for the Barkaritaville party for Parrotheads to raise money for the Second Chance Pet Rescue Saturday evening from 5-9 at Honey Creek Landing Marina.

On South Grand Lake, Mike Barham will perform at Sharky’s Bar at Hammerhead Marina Friday night – and Empire will take over entertainment duties Saturday night.

Area casinos have excellent musical options this weekend, as well. Thursday night is another At Downstream Casino’s Legends Sports Bar, Mayday by Midnight will entertain Friday night, and Another Alibi takes the stage Saturday night. Cherokee Casino Grove will feature Rod Robertson Friday night and The Pumpkin Hollow Band Saturday night. At River Bend Casino (formerly Wyandotte Casino), Club 60 West hosts Big Smitty Friday night. At Buffalo Run Casino’s Trailer Park Bar & Grill, there’s great music both Friday and Saturday night with Str8ight Shot. At Indigo Sky Casino, there is live entertainment in the Echo Bar starting Thursday night with music by nighTTrain. Friday night features the music of The Uncrowned Kings, followed by Torn Saturday night.

The best spots to catch all your favorite sports action, including NBA playoff action, NASCAR, and PGA Golf are Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina, Monkey Island Pub, the Standing Room Only Bar at The Shebang, Road Hog Saloon, 1909 in Grove, and Pickles at the Lake in Langley.

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BUM MUST-SEE TV: Season 3 of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt will be available Friday on NetFlix. ; The Wizard of Liesstars Robert De Niro as Bernie Madoff Saturday night at 7:00 on HBO. Sunday night, you may need your DVR. The 2017 Billboard Music Awards show is at 7:00 on ABC, A Bundle of Trouble: an Aurora Teagarden Mystery is on the Hallmark Movie & Mystery channel at 8:00; and Season 3 of Twin Peaks also gets underway at 8:00 on Showtime.

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BUM MUST-SEE MOVIES: Alien: Covenant and Everything, Everything

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “In France this month, far right-wing candidate Marine Le Pen lost the presidential election by millions of votes. And here’s the cool part: in France, if you lose by millions of votes, that means you don’t get to be president.” – Conan O’Brien

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SAVE THE DATE: Friday-Monday, May 26-29 – Memorial Weekend on Grand Lake! Saturday, June 3 – Home of Hope Admirals Banquet at Shangri-La Resort Hotel. Monday-Thursday, June 5-8 – Junior Players Academy at Shangri-La Golf Club.Wednesday, June 7 – Shangri-La Team presentation to Grove Rotary Club. Friday & Saturday, June 10-11 – Dennis James, Terry Jordan, and Ron Young present Musica Curiosa: Livin’ the Ragtime Life at the Coleman Theater in Miami (7:30 Sat –2:30 matinee Sunday). Tuesday, June 20 – Men Against Violence luncheon at noon at 1^st Methodist Church in Grove (D.A. Kenny Wright will speak). Friday, June 23 – formal dedication of Shangri-La’s new Resort Hotel (4:00 p.m.). Saturday, June 24– Free Boating Safety Course at GRDA Ecosystems Center in Lanley (8-5).

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This weekend, we’ll have play underway to determine the final two teams in the NBA Playoffs. The Western Conference Championship Series is on ESPN – the Eastern Conference finals are on TNT.

The PGA Tour rolls into Irving, Texas this week for the AT&T Byron Nelson Classic. Coverage on the Golf Channel begins at3:00 Thursday & Friday and noon Saturday & Sunday. CBS picks up coverage of the final two rounds Saturday & Sunday at2:00.

NASCAR drivers are in Charlotte this weekend for some Saturday night racing. Coverage of the Monster Energy Open begins at 5:00 Saturday, followed by the Monster Energy NASCAR All-Star Race at 7:00, both on Fox Sports 1.

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Weather for the weekend ahead looks much like the one gone by. We might have a shower or two Friday, and maybe a scattered shower or two Saturday. Otherwise - sunshine, light winds, and high temperatures in the mid-70s Friday, and pushing 80 Saturday & Sunday. Hopefully, water levels will be down significantly, we’ll be rid of most of the debris from the flood waters – and we’ll all be on the lake! Remember, wherever you decide to play, be sure to buy a drink for the guy next to you.  It could be me. 

GRAND LAKE BUM

 

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Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area?  Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.

 

1909 in Downtown Grove

American Grill in Grove

Aquabar & Grill at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)

Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley

Balcony Bar at The Shebang (Smoking – open Friday & Saturday nights)

Big Shots on Monkey Island (smoking upstairs—open Friday & Saturday nights)

Bobbers Café in Langley

Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patios)

Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)

Café Italia on Monkey Island

Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)

Ceasar’s Place in Vinita and on Monkey Island

Chickanella’s in Grove

Chicken Coop West of Langley

Clanton’s Café in Vinita

Coffee Shelter in Ketchum

Cosby’s Catfish on Highway 28 in Eucha (East of Disney)

Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina

Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)

Drake’s on the Lake at Blue Bluff Harbor

Drake’s Restaurant in Grove

Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina

Frosty & Edna’s (west of the dam in Langley)

Gabby’s Place in downtown Grove

Goodfella’s Pizza (Cleora and Grove)

Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)

Grand Lodge in Ketchum (smoking)

Hatfield’s Saloon in Grove

High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)

Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)

Juan Montez Restaurant & Cantina at Red Arrow Marina

Karrie's Kaboose in Langley (smoking)

La Casita de Martin in downtown Grove

Lakeside Bar & Grill in Grove at Sail Boat Bridge

Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum

Los Garcias in Langley

Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove

Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)

Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)

Morrows Bar & Grill in Raper Hollow

Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove

Okie Smokies Barbecue in Grove on Hwy 59 South

Pickles at the Lake in Langley

Pit Stop Café in Grove

Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)

Raggedy’s in Grove

Rancho Viejo in Grove

Riggs & Company in Langley

River Bend Casino in Wyandotte (smoking)

Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)

Roadhouse 125 on Monkey Island (smoking deck)

Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)

Scooters in Langley (smoking)

Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)

Smokin’ Spur BBQ & Trading Post at Old Towne Plaza, Cleora

Sticky Fingers Barbecue in Ketchum

Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)

Summit Restaurant at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)

The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice

The Landings Marina (smoking on the deck)

The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)

The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)

The Office on Monkey Island (smoking)

The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)

The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)

Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)

VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)

Water Side Bar & Grill in Grove

Waterway Café, Harbors View Marina (smoking on breakwater dining deck)

Wolf Creek Diner in Grove