Random Observations of The Grand Lake Bum September 30

People have no idea what incredible fun they miss if they quit visiting Grand Lake after Labor Day. I spent all the past weekend at some awesome venues and outdoor parties with friends, just getting in shape for the weekend ahead. It’s Pelican Festival time – and the weather looks absolutely perfect for all the outdoor festivities. There’s also the big Member Appreciation Party for Shangri-La members Saturdasy and the Courage Under Fire Classic Golf Tournament benefiting the Monkey Island Fire Department Sunday – but I can’t wait for Friday night to catch the awesome Killer Keyz national touring dueling pianos act at Shangri-La. We are so blessed to have such great entertainment all around the Grand Lake area year-round. There is no longer any such thing as “off-season” at Grand Lake!

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Courts will probably put a stop to it as a violation of the separation of church & state, but if not, it may soon be hard for kids to decide if they’re in regular school or Sunday school. Oklahoma State Superintendent of Education Ryan Walters is adamant about putting Bibles in every classroom in Oklahoma. Now, he has put a price tag on it: $6 million. Wait until the lawsuits hit and he has to also fund putting the Quran, Hadith, Tafsir, Tanakh, Talmud, Guru Granth Sahib, Vedas, Tripitaka, Daozang, and Zhuangzi in classrooms. Who did I miss?

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It looks like it may be time for us sinners to step up to the plate again. Everybody loves “sin taxes.” That’s why taxes are so outrageous on alcohol and tobacco. Now, the Tobacco Endowment Settlement Trust (TEST) is asking for a “meaningful increase” in the tobacco tax – and they want to add vaping and e-cigarettes to their taxation kitty, as well. In case you didn’t know, state and federal taxes on a single pack of cigarettes are already $3.04 – PLUS state, county, and local sales tax. It’s a law of diminishing returns. The last time the state raised tax on cigarettes by $1.00 a pack, sales dropped by 23%. They’d better be careful. If additional increases continue to cause such declines in sales, pretty soon TEST will tax us sinners to the point they have no sales and no revenue at all. Of course, it won’t be absolutely no sales. They can still count on me!

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Amazon and the online shopping frenzy have finished a clean sweep of another retail giant. K-Mart will close its Long Island, N.Y. store this month. That’s the last full-size K-Mart store in existence.

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If you haven’t checked your calendar, it’s time to start paying attention to Major League Baseball. Divisional Playoff action starts Saturday.

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GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: Happy birthday wishes go out this week to Grand Lakers Gary Nichols, Mark Athey, Kira McDonald, Randy Wheeler, Thane Swisher, Sue Wilkinson, Jan Castelli, David Hastings, Tania Geradts, Reggie Stone, Robert Zoellner, David Durrett, Colleen Garrett, Erik Frost, Cari Williams, Jared Jeffers, Lauria Givens, Joe Wilburn, Patty Northrop, Nancy Saamer, Barry Eller, Renee Russell, Luke Curley, and Peggy Richards.

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BEST GRAND LAKE EVENTS THIS WEEK: There is no shortage of fun to kick off the month of October at Grand Lake. It’s Pelican Festival Time! The Festival & Carnival at Wolf Creek Park in Grove runs Thursday-Sunday. As part of the festival, there’s also a carnival operating Thursday & Friday nights, all day & evening Saturday, and Sunday afternoon. Thursday evening is the weekly Prime Rib & Karaoke at Doc’s Bar & Grill at Shangri-La (6:00 p.m.) and a Crab Legs & Karaoke at Island Bar & Grill at The Landings and Blind Swine Monkey Island. Blind Swine also features an all-you-can-eat Seafood Boil Saturday night. Friday is a Grand Lake show by the nationally acclaimed dueling piano act “Killer Keyz” at Shangri-La (7:00 p.m.). Friday is also the Pimps & Hoes Party at Copper Penny Bar in Ketchum (9:00 p.m.). Saturday morning is the final Farmers’ Market of the year on the Grove Community Center lawn. Saturday is the Brothers-in-Law Toy Run with poker run stops at the Miami Elks Lodge, RJ’s in Vinita, Copper Penny in Ketchum, Road Hog Saloon at Monkey Island, and R-Bar Saloon in Grove. Saturday evening is the Member Appreciation Party at Shangri-La. Sunday afternoon is the Courage Under Fire Classic golf tournament at Shangri-La benefiting the Monkey Island Fire Department (12:00 p.m.).

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RANDY KREHBIEL’S RANDOM FACTOID OF THE WEEK: Wallace Amos Jr., best known for his Famous Amos cookies, signed Simon & Garfunkel as clients while a talent agent for the William Morris Agency. He started his cookie company with a loan from singers Helen Reddy and Marvin Gaye.

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FUN FACT OF THE WEEK: Brothers Peter and James Aurness had to adopt stage names when they began their acting careers. Peter adopted their mother’s maiden name – Peter Graves. James adapted their surname – James Arness. Peter Graves starred for years as Jim Phelps in “Mission Impossible.” James, of course, was Marshal Matt Dillon in the long-running series “Gunsmoke.”

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ODD FACT OF THE WEEK: Lake Optima in the Oklahoma panhandle is perhaps the biggest failure in the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers history. It took 10 years and almost $50 million to build the dam to create a large lake to provide flood control, supply drinking water to several communities, and attract millions of campers, water skiers and fishermen. It did not of those things. The lake never filled.

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BEST FACEBOOK POST OF THE WEEK: The only thing standing between me and my dreams is my appearance, lack of talent, and general personality.

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BEST SIGN SEEN THIS WEEK: Voting prevents unwanted presidencies.

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BEST TWEET OF THE WEEK: To the person who stole my camouflage jacket and my flip-flops…you can hide, but you can’t run.

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PUN OF THE WEEK: I came up with a new dating app idea. You match with people who are on the same medication as you. We’ll call it “Relationscripts.”

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UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK: Do marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet?

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OBSERVATION OF THE WEEK: Be good enough to forgive people, but don’t be stupid enough to trust them again.

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “Social media has made people way too comfortable with disrespecting people and not getting punched in the fact for it.” – Mike Tyson

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FEEL-OLD MOMENTS OF THE WEEK: Jimmy Carter, undoubtedly the best “former President” in American history, turns 100 years old this week. Dame Maggie Smith is without a doubt the most highly acclaimed British actress in history. After starring in a wide variety of productions from The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie to Hook – Downton Abbey to Harry Potter, she died last week at the age of 89.

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BEST WEEKEND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT: On Monkey Island, the weekend begins Thursday night with Prime Rib & Karaoke with Tim Robinson at Doc’s Bar & Grill. Chloe Johns entertains live at Doc’s Friday night while Killer Keyz dueling pianos battle in the Roosevelt Ballroom at Shangri-La. Thursday night is Cocktails & Karaoke Night at the Swine Monkey Island location. DJ Kyle Bandito provides the late-night music at Big Shots both Friday & Saturday nights. Fat Cat will provide the music for Shangri-La’s Member Appreciation Party Saturday night.

On South Grand, Lil’ Red & COBE will perform at Scissortail Bar at Scissortail Marina. Tim Robinson leads the karaoke fun at the Pimps & Hoes Party at Copper Penny in Ketchum Friday night. Asphalt Cowboys starts the weekend Friday night at Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney. Reverse Reaction entertains Saturday night at the Drunken Rooster.

In Grove, there’s great musical entertainment at the Pelican Festival at Wolf Creek Park. The Mid-Life Crisis Band will be on stage at 7:30 Friday night – and a fabulous Journey tribute band Journey of a Lifetime will perform Saturday night. There are two nights of entertainment at Cherokee Casino’s 1897 Bar – MixTape 918 Friday night followed by Magic J Entertainment Saturday.

There are three nights of live music at Indigo Sky Casino. Brett N’ Terri kick off the fun Thursday night followed by Bill & Monica’s Excellent Adventure Friday night, and Encore Saturday. At River Bend Casino’s Club 60 West, there is live music early Saturday night followed by karaoke at 11:00 p.m. Tracy Lawrence will be in concert Friday night at Downstream Casino’s Pavilion.

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DINING & DRINKING UPDATE: Ugly’s Grill & Bar at Thunder Bay Marina is now closed for the season. Grand Lake Kitchen is finally open at Har-Ber Village. Hours are 7:00 a.m.-3:00 p.m. Sunday & Monday, and 7:00 a.m.-8:00 p.m. Wednesday-Saturday (Closed Tuesday). Scissortail Bar at Scissortail Marina (formerly Port Carolos) is open. Doc’s Bar & Grill at Shangri-La no longer offers breakfast (open for lunch and dinner daily, full breakfast service is available daily at The Monkey Grind). Twisted on Grand in Langley has closed permanently. The Monkey Bar on Monkey Island has new hours of operation - opening at 3:00 p.m. Monday-Friday and at 11:00 a.m. Saturday & Sunday.

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BUM MUST-SEE TV: The Vice-Presidential Debate with Tim Walz and J.D. Vance is Tuesday night at 8:00 on CBS and most other networks. Law & Order begins a new season Thursday night at 7:00 followed by a new season of Law & Order SVU at 8:00, both on NBC. Nate Bargatze hosts Saturday Night Live with musical guest Coldplay at 10:30 Saturday night on NBC. Jelly Roll will be the featured guest on Sunday Today with Willie Geist Sunday morning at 7:00 on NBC. The American Music Awards 50^th Anniversary Special airs Sunday night at 7:00 on CBS.

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BUM MUST-SEE MOVIES: Joker: Folie a Deux and White Bird open in movie theaters this week. House of Spoils is available Friday on Prime Video.

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SAVE THE DATE: Saturday, October 12 – Arts & Crafts Festival and Indian Tacos at the Bernice Senior/Community Center (10:00-2:00). Saturday, October 19 – Octoberfest at Grand Towne Center north of Langley (10:00-3:00). Friday, October 25 – South Grand Lake Chamber of Commerce Golf Tournament at The Coves (12:00 p.m. shotgun). Friday-Saturday, October 25-26 – Shangri-La Celebrity Shootout Dinner & Match Play at Shangri-La feature OU golfers from Good Good Golf and OSU golfers from Busta Jack (dinner at 6:30 Friday, shootout at 12:30 Saturday at The Battlefield). Saturday, October 26 – Heart of Monkey Island Chili Cookoff & Margarita competition raising money for “Christmas for the Kiddos” at Blind Swine Monkey Island (noon). Saturday, October 26 – Fall Festival & Hayrides at The Battlefield at Shangri-La (6:00-9:00 p.m.). Thursday, October 31 – Trunk or Treat Block Party in the Parts City parking lot in Langley (6:00-8:00 p.m.). Saturday, November 2 – Murder Mystery Dinner “Death of a Gangster” at Shangri-La’s Roosevelt Ballroom (6:00 p.m.). Saturday, November 9 – Scavenger Hunt benefiting 2^nd Chance Pet Rescue at The Shebang (11:00 a.m.).  Saturday, November 9 – DCCSAN “Winterset – How the West Was Won” at Shangri-La Resort (6:00 p.m.).

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It’s a huge week for sports. WNBA Semi-Final playoff action is underway featuring New York vs. Las Vegas and Minnesota vs. Connecticut in best-of-five series action. Games are Friday and, if necessary, Sunday and Tuesday of next week.

In the college football world, OU is idle this week, but Tulsa hosts Army Saturday morning at 11:00, OSU hosts West Virginia at 3:00, and Arkansas hosts Tennessee at 7:00. Other big Saturday games include Missouri at Texas A&M, Auburn at Georgia, Ole Miss at South Carolina, UCF at Florida, Kansas at Arizona State, and Baylor at Iowa State.

The NFL season rolls into week #5 with the Atlanta Falcons hosting Baker Mayfield and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers Thursday night. Sunday games include an early start from London (8:30) with the Jets taking on the Vikings. Miami is at New England (12:00), Buffalo is at Houston (12:00), the L.A. Rams host Green Bay (3:30), and Dallas is at Pittsburgh (7:15). Monday Night Football features New Orleans at Kansas City (7:15).

NASCAR drivers are at Talladega this week for some Sunday afternoon racing. Coverage of the Yellawood 500 is Sunday afternoon at 1:00 on NBC.

Major League Baseball is in true “Major League” form this week with Wild Card Playoff action continuing all week through Friday. Divisional Series action gets underway daily, beginning Saturday.

PGA players are in Jackson, Mississippi this week for the Sanderson Farms Championship as they kick off a new season. Coverage begins Thursday-Saturday at 3:00 and Sunday at 2:30 exclusively on the Golf Channel.

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The weather outlook for the weekend ahead couldn’t be more perfect. We’ll have sunshine, light winds, high temperatures in the upper 80s and lows around 60. There’s a lot happening at Grand Lake, and we have the perfect weather to enjoy it all! Remember, though, wherever you decide to party, be sure to buy a drink for the guy next to you. It might be me!

GRAND LAKE BUM

If you would like to join the growing list of sponsors of The Grand Lake Bum e-blast and the Bum’s page on both  Grand Lake Living and www.360grandlake.com, the cost is only$50 a week and the list of readers continues to grow.  E-mail grandlakebum@gmail.com to sign up. The Grand Lake Bum column is also published in The Grand Laker newspaper.

Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area?  Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.

Anchor Sports Bar & Activity Park at Shangri-La

Big Shots on Monkey Island (Open Thursday, Friday & Saturday nights)

Blind Swine on Duck Creek at Safe Harbor Harbors View Marina

Blind Swine on Monkey Island

Blue Bluff Café at Blue Bluff Harbor

BOOM in Grove (at The Regatta)

Bradford BBQ in Ketchum

Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La on Monkey Island

Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)

Casa Gutierrez in Grove

Cesar’s Place in Vinita

Cesar’s Place in Langley

Checkered Past in Grove

Chickanella’s on Monkey Island

Chicken Coop west of Langley

Chubby’s Grill at On Target in Grove

Clanton’s Café in Vinita

Copper Penny Bar in Ketchum

Cosby’s Catfish on Highway 28 in Eucha (East of Disney)

Cove Club in Langley

Doc’s Bar & Grill at Shangri-La Resort Hotel

Domino’s in Grove

Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)

Drake’s Restaurant in Grove

Drunken Rooster Bar & Grill

E&H Liquor Store at Littlefield Corner, Monkey Island

Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina

Fire Pit at Wildwood Cove Resort in Drowning Creek

Galley at The Anchor, Shangri-La Resort

Gambine’s Pizza in Ketchum

Goodfella’s Pizza (Cleora and Grove)

Grand Getaway Mercantile (north of Grove)

Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)

Grand Lake Coffee Company in Grove

Grand Lake Public House in Grove

Grand Lake RV Resort at the back of Duck Creek

Hero’s Deli in Grove

Hero’s Deli in Langley

High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)

Honey Creek BBQ in Grove (south of Honey Creek bridge)

Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)

Juan Montez Restaurant & Cantina at Red Arrow Marina

Keagan’s Coffee at Littlefield Corner

La Casita de Martin in downtown Grove

Legacy Eatery in Grove

Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum

Los Garcias in Langley

Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove

Matt’s Place in Grove

Monkey Bar on Monkey Island

Monkey Island RV Resort

Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney

Monkey Grind at Shangri-La Resort Hotel

Monkey Island Trail Rides

Monkey Island Winery

Mosa Hibachi and Sushi in Grove

Mulligan’s at Patricia Island Golf Club in Grove

Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove

One-Eyed Monkey at Littlefield Corner, Monkey Island

Pappy’s Bar on Hwy 10 east of Grove

Pickles at the Lake in Langley

Pier 13 Liquor Store in Langley

Pistol Pat’s on Honey Creek in Grove

Pit Stop Café in Grove

Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor

R Bar Dance Hall & Saloon in Grove

Raggedy’s in Grove

Rancho Viejo in Grove

Regatta Restaurant & Bar at Sailboat Bridge, Grove

Riggs & Company in Langley

River Bend Casino in Wyandotte (smoking)

Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island

Royal Liquor Store in Grove

Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)

Scissortail Bar at Scissortail Marina

Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina

Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)

Sugar Shack at Lee’s Grand Lake Resort

Summit Restaurant at Shangri-La on Monkey Island

The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice

The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)

The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)

Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina

VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)

Wolf Creek Diner in Grove