August 25 Observations from the Grand Lake Bum

Here we are at the arrival of another big summer holiday weekend on Grand Lake when our population goes through the roof and all the bars, restaurants, marinas, resorts, golf courses, and boat rental operations are crazy busy. I know we have a lot of folks coming in for the weekend who may not be familiar with my official Grand Lake Bum Holiday Rules of Behavior, so here they are again: No fighting, no puking, no hitting on someone else’s date, no griping at over-worked servers and bartenders, no bragging about how much money you have (or your parents have), no drunk driving, no public nudity (private nudity is okay), no yelling, no discussion of religion - and especially no politics! 

As with all holiday weekends, you may have a little longer wait for a seat, a drink, or some food. Be nice to everyone who is working so you can play. Everyone is always understaffed for the influx of holiday weekend visitors. If everybody who’s coming to the lake over the holiday weekend would come every weekend, all the businesses could staff up for those giant crowds. If I get my drink before you do, it’s because I’m there every day all year long. Bartenders already know what I want – and they know I’ll be sitting on the same stool in December. So, maybe you should buy a house and a boat while you’re here and come join us for the party all year!

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We’re sliding toward the Fall Ball on Grand Lake. Sunset is now happening before 8:00 p.m.  We won’t have 8:00 p.m. sunsets again until next April.

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With so many of my Monkey Island pals flitting around the world, I was surprised to learn that Oklahoma has the lowest rate of passport ownership among the 50 states and District of Columbia. I guess everyone in Oklahoma decided there was no better place to go than Grand Lake! The highest rates of passport ownership, by the way, were New Jersey and New York. I guess everyone is trying to get out of there.

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I guess Missouri wins the prize for the biggest cook-out of the summer. Last week, a truck carrying 40,000 pounds of ribeye steaks caught fire and burned completely. If you’re having trouble finding steaks for your Labor Day cookout, you might check beside the highway in Phelps County, Missouri. There are probably a few still laying around if the Doolittle Rural Volunteer firefighters didn’t polish them all off. It brings new meaning to the firefighting job described as “well done.”

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Alice Walton, the world’s richest woman, has established the Alice L. Walton School of Medicine in Bentonville. Not only that, she has offered to pay the tuition for the first five graduating classes from her new “whole person care” medical school. I guess she has figured out how she can help you pay those ever-increasing prices at Wal-Mart. Become a doctor!

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GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: Happy birthday wishes go out this week to Grand Lakers Gretchen Zumwalt, Jim Basgall, Jenean Perryman, Randy McAbee, Brian Broaddus, Patricia Williams, Ray Holmes, Dianna Wescott, Patty Davis, Randy Sherrell, Larry Mlnarik, Janet Link, Mackenci Hudiburg, Dennis Patrick, Gary Morgan, Tammie Koehler, David Guest, Chad Randall, and Marilyn Mlnarik.

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BEST GRAND LAKE EVENTS THIS WEEK: There’s something happening everywhere you look this holiday weekend, but here are some highlights: Jana Jae’s Fiddle Camp is this weekend – Friday through Sunday (night sessions at Snider’s Campground – daytime sessions at Foundation Freewill Baptist Church). There is also a big Labor Day Crawl at the off-road area at Disney Friday-Monday. Saturday is the Grand River Dam Paddle competition below the Pensacola Dam; and Saturday night is “Bullfest at the Lake” at Wolf Creek Park in Grove (6:00-9:00 p.m.). 

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RANDY KREHBIEL’S FACTOID OF THE WEEK: Harpo Marx’ only scripted movie line was “You sure you can’t move?” in 1925’s “Too Many Kisses.” It was a silent film.

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FUN FACT OF THE WEEK: Actor Mel Brooks wore a prosthetic sixth finger while leaving his handprints on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

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ODD FACT OF THE WEEK: All clownfish are born male, and they have the extraordinary ability to change sex later in life. There’s a strict hierarchy: the largest and most dominant fish becomes the female, the second largest becomes the breeding male, and the rest remain smaller, non-breeding males. If the dominant female dies or disappears, the breeding male undergoes a permanent sex change and becomes the new female, while one of the non-breeding males steps up to take his place.

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BEST FACEBOOK POST OF THE WEEK: Went swimming today. Took a pee in the deep end. Lifeguard noticed. Blew his whistle so frikking loud I almost fell in.

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WORD FUN OF THE WEEK:  The word “restaurant” was first used for a type of healing soup, not a place. In 1765 in Paris, a vendor sold “restaurants” with a sign promising to restore the health of weary travelers, birthing the modern dining industry.

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BEST SIGN SEEN THIS WEEK: NOTICE: Welcome to Las Vegas, New Mexico. If you came to gamble, you took a wrong turn in Albuquerque.

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BEST BLUESKY POST OF THE WEEK: I pulled out a nose hair last night to see if it hurt. Judging by how fast my husband woke up screaming, it seemed pretty painful.

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PUN OF THE WEEK: I just left the grocery store, and the kid bagging my stuff asked if I wanted paper or plastic. I told him I didn’t care and he could decide for me. He told me that I had to pick because baggers can’t be choosers.

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UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK: Why is it I can eat half a pound of chocolate and gain five pounds?

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OBSERVATION OF THE WEEK: I hate when people say act like an adult. Have you seen adults lately? That’s horrible advice!

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say ‘no’ to almost everything.” – Warren Buffett

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FEEL-OLD MOMENTS OF THE WEEK: Actor/producer/director Robert Redford turned 89 last week. Spunky actress Kyra Sedgwick (“The Closer”) turned 60 years old last week. Were you among those saying “I Dream of Jeannie” back in the day? Actress Barbara Eden turned 94 over the weekend; and Sister Jean, Loyola University men’s basketball’s biggest legendary fan, turned 106 years old. RIP Ron Turcotte. The legendary jockey who road Secretariat to the Triple Crown victory died over the past weekend. He was 84.

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BEST WEEKEND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT: There’s certainly no shortage of life music options around the lake this holiday weekend. On Monkey Island, Sundown Entertainment hosts Thursday night karaoke on the patio at Doc’s Bar & Grill at Shangri-La (6:00-9:00 p.m.) and Gavin Tucker performs live Friday night at Doc’s. Broken Aces will provide the music Saturday night at Eddy’s Lakeside Bar followed by Three Dollar Rocket Sunday night. There’s karaoke with Sundown Entertainment Wednesday night at The Monkey Bar, Rockstar Karaoke with DJ Kennedy Friday night, and live music by Trenton Tanner Saturday night. DJ K-Bandito will provide the entertainment Friday & Saturday nights at Big Shots Rhythm & Booze.

In Grove, Encore will provide the music Friday night at Cherokee Casino Grove’s 1897 Bar followed by Travis Le Doyt as Elvis Saturday night and The Beaty Creek Band Sunday night. Bobby D entertains Friday night at Grand Lake Casino’s Venue 655 followed by Swade Diablos Saturday night. Morgan Entertainment leads the karaoke fun at Boom at The Regatta Friday night and hosts Singo competition Tuesday. There’s musical Bingo every Wednesday night at R-Bar Dance Hall & Saloon; and DJ Laidback Larry will provide the musical entertainment Saturday night at R-Bar.

On South Grand Lake, The Garrett Brown Band will kick off the weekend Friday night at Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina followed by Empire Saturday night, and Highway 69ers Sunday night. There’s plenty of live entertainment at Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney. Ayngel Dust starts the weekend early Wednesday night, followed by The Smith Brothers Thursday night, Jacob Dement Friday night, The Beaty Creek Band Saturday night, and Jacob Dement again Sunday. Thursday night, there’s karaoke with Morgan Entertainment at Blind Swine Duck Creek. Dustin Chadwell will be on stage at The Swine Sunday evening. Mixtape 918 entertains Saturday night at The Drunken Rooster in Cleora and Chase Wilson will take the stage Sunday night.

There are four nights of live music at Indigo Sky Casino beginning with Kimra Thursday night. The Johnny Dale Roberts Band takes the stage Friday night, and KC & The Vibe take over Saturday followed by a special Sunday night performance by TJ Scarlett. 1994 will be at Buffalo Run’s Backwoods Bar Saturday night. The Blue Underground will provide the music in Riverbend Casino’s Club 60 West Saturday night.

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DINING & DRINKING UPDATE: Chickanellas on Monkey Island has expanded their dinner service to include Thursday nights as well as Friday & Saturday. Eddy’s Lakeside Bar and Sharky’s will both have extended hours this holiday weekend – open Sunday night & Monday. This is the last weekend of the season for Sharky’s. It’s also the last weekend forever for Bradford BBQ in Ketchum. Honey Creek BBQ in Grove has also closed. Their memo to staff says “permanently,” but the sign in the window says “temporarily.” We’ll see, I guess.

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BUM MUST-SEE TV: Emma and Bruce Willis: The Unexpected Journey airs Tuesday night at 7:00 on ABC. Fantasy Football Ruined Our Life is available Wednesday on NETFLIX; and the new series The Terminal List: Dark Wolf airs Wednesday night on Prime Video.

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BUM MUST-SEE MOVIES: There are LOTS of new movies being released this week: The Roses, Caught Stealing, The Toxic Avenger, and Jaws all open in movie theaters this week. The Thursday Murder Club is available this week on NETFLIX.

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SAVE THE DATE: Thursday-Friday, September 4-5 – Lieutenant Governor Matt Pinnell’s “Luau on the Green” and Pinnell Classic Golf Tournament at Shangri-La. Friday, September 5 – First Friday Wine Share at Zena Suri Alpacas (6:00 p.m.). Monday, September 8 – Good Good Golf Battlefield Shootout at The Battlefield at Shangri-La followed by dinner with the Pros on Doc’s Patio at 7:00. Monday, September 8 – South Grand Lake Foundation “Fore the Kids” Golf Tournament at The Coves benefiting the Ketchum Warriors Backpack Program (9:00 a.m. shotgun). Friday, September 12 – Juan Montez 10th Anniversary Celebration (8:00 p.m.). Saturday, September 13 – Audubon Society 1st Year Anniversary Celebration at the Community Center on the Grove Town Square (10:30-11:30 a.m.). Saturday, September 13 – Fairland Midwest Pullers Tractor Pull at Fairland Round-up Arena (6:00 p.m.). Thursday, September 18 – Northeast Oklahoma Board of Realtors Golf Tournament at The Coves (9:00 a.m. shotgun start). Friday, September 19 – Grove Chamber of Commerce Fundraising Golf Tournament at Patricia Island (9:00 a.m. shotgun start). Friday-Saturday, September 19-20 – Grove Merchants’ Fall Open House. Friday-Sunday, September 19-21 – Wheeling for the Wounded in the off-road area near Disney. Thursday-Sunday, September 25-28 – Pioneer Days at Har-Ber Village. Friday, September 26 – Golf Tournament at the Grand Cherokee Golf Course below the Pensacola Dam benefiting the Vinita Day Center. Saturday, September 27 – Annual World’s Largest Calf Fry & BBQ Cookoff at the Craig County Fairgrounds in Vinita (11:00 a.m.). Saturday, September 27 – Progress Dinner traveling to 10 Grove businesses beginning at Rustic Rehab at 5:00 p.m. Saturday, September 27 – Miss Pelican Festival Scholarship Pageant at the Grove Performing Arts Center (5:00 p.m.). Saturday & Sunday, September 27-28 – Harvest Festival & Craft Show at McCorkle Family Farm & Pumpkin Patch (Saturday 10-6 and Sunday 12:30-6:00).

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The college football season started last week, but it gets underway with full force this Labor Day Weekend. OSU hosts UT Martin Thursday night at 6:30 – and OU hosts Illinois State Saturday at 5:00. Both need to sharpen their skills before next week when OSU travels to Oregon and OU hosts Michigan. There are better games on the schedule this week. Texas is at Ohio State Saturday morning at 11:00. LSU is at Clemson Saturday night at 6:30 and Miami hosts Notre Dame Sunday night at 6:30.

NFL preseason is officially over – and there are no NFL games this weekend. The Cowboys kick off the regular season next Thursday night at Philadelphia, followed by the Chief in Los Angeles to face the Chargers next Friday night.

It’s a big time for tennis, too. It’s U.S. Open time. First round play continues daily (10:30 a.m.) on ESPN with 2nd round play beginning Wednesday, 3rd round Friday, and Round of 16 play beginning Sunday. Quarterfinals for men and women start next Tuesday.

The WNBA has several great games this week, including Chicago at Phoenix Thursday night (9:00), Dallas at Atlanta Friday night (6:30) followed by Indiana at Los Angeles (9:00).  Indiana is at Golden State Sunday evening at 7:30.

NASCAR drivers are at Darlington this week for some Sunday evening racing. Coverage of the Cook Out Southern 500 is on USA Sunday at 5:00.

There are some fun Major League Baseball games this week including Detroit at Kansas City Saturday (6:00) and Atlanta at Philadelphia Sunday (6:00). Next week, the Astros host the Yankees both Tuesday & Wednesday at 7:00.

PGA golfers are taking the Labor Day weekend off and the LIV Golf season has ended.

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What a great time for a little cooler weather – just in time for the holiday weekend. We’ll have partly cloudy skies, high temperatures around 80 degrees and lows in the 60s before things start heating up again next week! How about that for Labor Day weather? There’s fun everywhere you look this weekend; so get out and enjoy the long holiday weekend. Remember, though, wherever you party, be sure to buy a drink for the guy next to you. It could be me!

GRAND LAKE BUM

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Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area?  Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.

Anchor Sports Bar & Activity Park at Shangri-La

Big Shots on Monkey Island (Open Thursday, Friday & Saturday nights)

Billy’s Burger Bar & More in Ketchum

Blind Swine on Duck Creek at Safe Harbor Harbors View Marina

Blue Bluff Café at Blue Bluff Harbor

BOOM at The Regatta (at Sailboat Bridge)

Bradford BBQ in Ketchum

Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La on Monkey Island

Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)

Casa Gutierrez in Gro

Cesar’s Place in Vinita

Cesar’s Place in Langley

Checkered Past in Grove

Chickanellas on Monkey Island

Chicken Coop west of Langley

Chubby’s Grill at On Target in Grove

Clanton’s Café in Vinita

Copper Penny Bar in Ketchum

Cosby’s Catfish on Highway 28 in Eucha (East of Disney)

Cove Club in Langley

Cregan’s Confections & Ice Cream (Ketchum)

Doc’s Bar & Grill at Shangri-La Resort Hotel

Domino’s in Grove

Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)

Drake’s Restaurant in Grove

Drift at the Regatta (at Sailboat Bridge in Grove)

Drunken Rooster Bar & Grill (Cleora)

Drunken Rooster – on the Water (Grove)

E&H Liquor Store at Littlefield Corner, Monkey Island

Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina

Fire Pit at Wildwood Cove Resort in Drowning Creek

Galley at The Anchor, Shangri-La Resort

Gambino’s Pizza in Ketchum

Goodfella’s Pizza (Cleora and Grove)

Grand Getaway Mercantile (north of Grove)

Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)

Grand Lake Coffee Company in Grove

Hero’s Deli in Grove

Hero’s Deli in Langley

High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)

Honey Creek BBQ in Grove (south of Honey Creek bridge)

Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)

Island Bar & Grill at The Landings Marina

Juan Montez Restaurant & Cantina at Red Arrow Marina

Keagan’s Coffee at Littlefield Corner

La Casita de Martin in downtown Grove

Legacy Eatery in Grove

Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum

Los Garcias in Langley

Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove

Matt’s Place in Grove

Monkey Bar on Monkey Island

Monkey Island RV Resort

Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney

Monkey Grind at Shangri-La Resort Hotel

Monkey Island Trail Rides

Monkey Island Winery

Mosa Hibachi and Sushi in Grove

Mulligan’s at Patricia Island Golf Club in Grove

Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove

One-Eyed Monkey at Littlefield Corner, Monkey Island

Pappy’s Bar on Hwy 10 east of Grove

Pickles at the Lake in Langley

Pier 13 Liquor Store in Langley

Pistol Pat’s on Honey Creek in Grove

Pit Stop Café in Grove

Poppin’ on Grand in Cleora

Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor

R Bar Dance Hall & Saloon in Grove

Raggedy’s in Grove

Rancho Viejo in Grove

Rise-N-Dine, Ketchum

River Bend Casino in Wyandotte (smoking)

Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island

Royal Liquor Store in Grove

Scissortail Lounge at Scissortail Marina

Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina

South 125 Bar & Grill on Monkey Island

Speedy’s Chophouse in Grove

Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)

Sugar Shack at Lee’s Grand Lake Resort

Summit Restaurant at Shangri-La on Monkey Island

The Artichoke Restaurant in Langley

The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice

The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)

The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)

Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina

VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)

Wolf Creek Diner in Grove